Would you care if your partner has an opposite sex "best friend"?

[Lisia]

I would 🤷‍♀️ it's a no no in my opinion because back when I was single and I had a male best friend, he had a big crush on me and he was just the rejected guy.

So I assume if my boyfriend would have a girl best friend, he was probably rejected by her or they have a secret fling. Could also be my trust issues tbh, I'm lucky he doesn't have one.

Updates

6 mo

Bruh best friends and friends is something different lmfao. A best friend is basically your favorite friend. Which in my opinion should be your SO. I hope this cleared some shit up.

[glennos89]

That's kind off a shallow way of thinking to be honest.

Because you experienced your (best) having a crush on you in the past... Every guy is going to have a crush on their female (best) friend or?

I have a few female friends in my life and if my future girlfriend is not accepting that... She is free to leave me because I ain't dumping any friends for someone's insecurities and jealousy anymore.

Been there and I have done that in the past to save my relationship but even when I dropped all my female friends for her... it didn't make any difference and the problem then was any random girl talking to me being a issue for her.
Tried everything but after she dumped me being single again I realised the problem was her lack of thrust in my loyalty and her insecurities instead of me having female friends.

I never cheated in my life and I never will because I hate it. But if my partner has thrust issues then she has to work on that or we aren't going to be a couple anymore simple as that!

It's unacceptable when a girl tells me, and I know a lot of you girls reading this said this to a guy your having a relationship with before in the past...

( I do thrust you baby... I just don't thrust the other girl that your hanging out with, that's why I don't want you and her to hang out together )

100% red flags if a girl tells me this ever again 🚩

Don't blame me for having female friends! Blame your self for having your own insecurities and lack of thrust in me! 🤷‍♂️

[Starrrboy]

Hell yeah lol.. even if they don't have a secret crush, they're still another guy who's very close to her and has her full attention.. So, what makes me so special then? Just the guy who bangs her? Lol..

[Lisia]

And the other guy probably is waiting for his chance to bang her

[Starrrboy]

True story

[nastyb]

everyone is saying its ok to have an opposite gender best friend. do this back to him. Show him your male best friend. Let him just absorb those emotions that will come once he hears that. Tell him that you and your best guy friend are going to get ice cream. He will be so filled with jealousy. I promise you.

A man who truly values his girlfriend would dump anyone to be with her. Because there is nothing more important than her happiness.

[Lisia]

Exactly!

[msmissydc]

In your situation yes. Thats weird to stay friends. Generally no I dont care. My best friend knows my husband longer than I do. She introduced us. He doesn't have a ' female bestlfriend' though. I wouldn't mind though, as long as it wouldn't be a 'tried and got rejected' situation.

[msmissydc]

About your update: SO is not a best friend. Best friend is the person you can talk with if you had a fight with your SO.

[Worst]

You should talk to your significant other if you've had a fight (I might add that your S/O is also your best friend)

[Lisia]

Are you gonna complain to your best MALE friend about your SO and you fighting? The worst thing you could do in my opinion

[msmissydc]

Of course talking with my SO is important. Thats never not an option and needs to be done! But Having a best friend to talk to can help. Only a best friend will tell you ' you are at fault' and still listen to your complaints.

[Worst]

Great lol you're describing a good S/O

[msmissydc]

There are two options: you and your SO trust each other. Or the sex of your best friend matters. There is no middle ground.

[msmissydc]

SO as in significant other/partner?

[Worst]

3rd option is to have sex with me (worst possible option)

[Worst]

SO= boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse

[msmissydc]

Yes i agree with that. Its the worst option.

[Worst]

Thanks you for for agreeing with me

[Finchie40]

Yes , mainly because i know what most guy’s are thinking when it comes to girls’ , just like
Girls’ know what other girls’ are thinking when it comes to guys , Back in the day it use to not bother me when I was younger and dating girls , if a girl I was dating had a close opposite sex friend or friends , it didn’t faze me until those opposite sex friends started to get jealous when I came around , that’s when I knew right then and there , most guy’s can’t just be friends with a girl without having some type of sexual attraction toward her , just like most girls’ can’t just be friends with a guy without having some type of attraction towards him , It’s very rare to find an opposite sex friend just wanting to be friends especially if they are investing a lot of their personal time into that friend , I experienced this from both sides of the spectrum , to realize it’s disrespectful period , if an opposite sex friend is investing a lot of their time into that person you are dating , they are more than likely pretending to just be a friend , when really they want more than just friendship , I don’t care what anyone says , it’s clearly disrespectful when you are pursuing a relationship with someone , I am not saying you have to hate that opposite sex friend , but out of respect for your partner , you should distance yourself from that friendship and set boundaries with your opposite sex friend and tell them that you are now in a relationship with someone and you don’t want them to get jealous or insecure you don’t have to be rude about it , just make it clear
To them that you really like this person and that you don’t want to duck things up , a true friend will easily understand and keep their distance and be respectful to your relationship , a bullshit opposite sex friend will get jealous and upset and cause drama and talk shit about your new partner to try to make you think otherwise about them , that bullshit opposite sex friend you should honestly
End that friendship with them out of respect for you partner , because if you truly valued the person you are dating , that wouldn’t be a hard task to do. Why it’s important to always wear your partners shoes before making decisions , I use to have a hand full of girl friends that I enjoyed hanging out with on occasion we would party together go to concerts together etc. , I just considered them friends , and I didn’t think much of it , until I started dating a girl that would get jealous of my girl friends , instead of telling her she is being insecure and jealous and that she doesn’t trust me , I would put myself in her shoes and think how I would feel if she was hanging out with a bunch of guy friends behind my back , I know damn well most people would feel they were being up to no good , it has nothing to do with trust , it comes down to respect for each other period , people That try to sugarcoat this are clearly talking out their asses. Sadly this is why most relationships tend to fail , because most people in general only think about what is best for themselves , without considering their partner’s feelings , they just assume what they are doing is ok , cuz in their mind , they aren’t doing anything wrong , because they are just a friend , and that’s all fine and dandy if that opposite sex friend is that important to you , but don’t be upset when your partner has an opposite sex friend that is important to me. For any relationship to last and survive , both partners are best to wear each others shoes before making decisions, if you can’t do that for Your partner , then don’t expect them to do that for you , it needs to go both ways or that relationship will not last and sadly you will be right back to square one being single again and hopefully you will realize how selfish of a person you truly are , People should not pursue relationships until they know how to remove selfishness from within themselves , first and realize you can’t always be right and your partner is wrong , it’s ok to be wrong , my thing is just be honest , most people have a very hard time being honest because they know they are wrong. I don’t waste my time with girls’ that can’t wear my shoes like they expect me to wear theirs , I had my fair share of selfish girls’ that only thought about what was best for themselves , basically thank you for a good time but not a long time
Themselves that they are no longer single when entering into a relationship with someone , it needs to go both ways Or that relationship is just a waste of time and be prepared to be heart broken again when you only think about what is best for you , No relationships will survive without respect and honesty for each other , you can lie and keep secrets all you want but those lies and secrets will eventually come back to haunt you if you think your can get away with selfish behavior

[Lisia]

Preach 🙌

[Finchie40]

LOL it’s just how I see things based off of my own personal experiences with girls’ I am far from perfect but I like
To consider myself wise when it comes to relationships , I can only give my heart to a girl that chooses me
Like she expects me to choose her , if we can’t choose each other than what is the point of being in a relationship with each other? If
You don’t fuck with my heart I am not going to fuck with yours basically

[Lisia]

Exactly!

[Bethany22]

Yes I would care, because usually men want to have sex with these 'best friends'

[Lisia]

Yeah indeed

[Apple1996]

It's fine to have friends of the opposite gender. I trust my husband enough not to do anything

[Bricealan]

"Based on my personal experiences, I would care a little bit, but would not interfere or say anything about it. Had a 'close' friend from H. S. We tried fucking but for whatever reason she did not follow through, and we did not fuck, but later we masturbated together with phone sex, although she had an SO and so did I.

I never questioned the relationship, but she seemed to enjoy or sessions and so did I. At it turned out it was harmless, but we did get some sexual satisfaction out of our phone, and verbal discussion.

I would not want to tell someone else that it was not good to have a friend like that

[Lisia]

Would you have told your SO?

[Bricealan]

No, I did not tell my girlfriend at the time, but my 'friend' and I did discuss her and the sex that we had, and others that my girlfriend had sex with. My friend 'got off ' on hearing it, and I did jerk-off to hearing about her sex life. I saw no harm in it, and it was really hot to have a 'friend' like that. She and I did go out a few times, and I would have love to have eater her out or fucked her.
My girlfriend never knew about it, and I considered it harmless to our relationship. I had a few other 'friends' like that and it was very exciting. That is why I am not judgmental about others on GAG.

[Staximus]

I have a bunch of female friends but they are not "my best friend". Only a few of them would hang out with me alone and they would definitely jump my bones if they were single. A couple of them would meet me at a hotel tomorrow if I asked them, and one is married with kids and the other has her boyfriend living at her house. I'm not trying to do that if they have boyfriends or husbands, I don't need any more problems and am not trying to make problems for them. Plus I wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

[Lisia]

Yep exactly

[Staximus]

I have a friend who will tell her husband she's going to hang out with me at the bar I work at and come see me. I've known her for like 30 years, I don't ask her to but she does it anyways. She says he's fine with it but I feel bad for the guy, I would be completely fucked off if I had a wife or girlfriend who did that.

[Madilyn]

My boyfriend has close friends of the opposite sex. He gets along better with women tbh. He’s very open about their friendships. I know them all well and they know me. They hang out individually and I’ve never felt worried. They’re all good friends to both of us now. They’re very sweet and good friends. And he never hides anything. If he’s going to hang out with one, he tells me. He always texts me back not instantly, but in a reasonable time). He’s also never gave me a reason to mistrust them. And allowing me to get to know them, connect with them, and openly communicating helps with that.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I agree, it's strange to want a opposite gendered friend considering people have their own gender to befriend, when someone has a problem with their partner putting restrictions on that, it seems fishy because they seem to have a hidden intention behind the idea of friending that specific person, it's only right to cut ties with those friends if they are in a relationship and the friend should understand it, at the very least distance themselves.

[RoosterJuniour56]

I'm neva gone have a partner but let's say if I did or was gone hav one I don't think I would care I hope i wudnt care becuz people have the right to have friends and I shunt tri and tak dat a way from em I also jus dont se it gon in the way you at least think its goin to go your gonna be like hey I dont like that you're hanging out with this person stop pls and their jus gonna be like ok and stop cold turkey yeah I doubt dat especially if they like the person, been friends with this person for some time like since childhood let's say, they care about the person value their friendship, value having relationships with people other than just you also in at least their mind dont see a good reason to stop hanging out with this friend and or bff

[Lisia]

I stopped hanging out with certain male friends "cold turkey" 🤷‍♀️ I did it for him to make him feel better and I don't regret anything 'cause they just wanted to get inside my pants.

[RoosterJuniour56]

how do you know they wanted to get inside your pants did they tell you that or what signs did they give off that made you think that
you said certain male friends so were there any that didn't want a relationship or get in in your pants
why did you put quotes on cold turkey cold turkey meaning like you stopped and never hung out with em again

[Lisia]

I just never heard of that expression. And yeah they told me. My male friends usually sexualized me but it was probably because I was one of the only 100 females in my school (which is possible in Belgium) and they didn't know how tf to act

[RoosterJuniour56]

can you answer some questions on my profile and ask others to answer to

[IslaTheWitch]

I would. I definitely would.

Being in a serious relationship requires creating a comfortable environment for your partner.

[jahaims]

Idc, if I didn't trust her she wouldn't be my partner. If the only thing stopping someone from cheating is opportunity then they are a cheater anyways.

[Lisia]

That's true

[IslaTheWitch]

But, we have to also remember that there could be a situation, which can create an opportunity. I prefer to be safe than sorry.

[jahaims]

Did you not see what I said? If opportunity is the only thing stopping someone from cheating, then they are already a cheater.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm more of a realistic person. Suppose there is a prolonged time when physical contact is forbidden. And a female close friend shows understanding. Things can happen because we are just human beings. I wouldn't trust myself in such a situation. What about the other person? I have no trust issues. I'm just aware life is not a fairytale.

[jahaims]

You are just a low quality person and are used to other low quality people. I wouldn't cheat under any circumstance, and I know the same is true for my partner. That is realistic if you aren't trash and your partner isn't trash.

[jahaims]

@ the update, you can have a best friend without either person being romantically or sexually interested. So, how do you hold your opinion while knowing this?

[Lisia]

Your favorite friend should be your SO.

[TonyMetal___86]

Nope if i have a girlfriend than i'm going to be her best friend too, it's not a trust issue or anything else, no best friends from the opposite sex, cause i know how men thinks, well the majority of them and me too i won't have any female best friend and don't need one if i have a girlfriend than she will be my best friend too...

[RingOfFire]

Yes, I would care because I have never in my life been able to have a personal relationship with a female "friend" without it trying to turn into more at some point. If it doesn't happen to me I can't trust that it wouldn't happen to her.

[Nirmroth]

If I get to know him in person then no I dont. I think its important to check their energy too, if I notice that there's more than just friendship from one or both sides, I may say something to my partner.

In the end I dont want to force anyone, I set my boundaries and if they are not met its maybe the wrong partner for me.

[Nirmroth]

Just saw the update aswell and I disagree, there's different qualities I seek in a best friend and a partner.

[Monalisa77]

If something progresses with the current guy i like im not gonna expect him to drop his friends wether be male or female. I doubt hed be happy with me expecting that. I usually get on better with guys too so i am friendly with a lot of guys so i wouldn't be happy with it vice versa either

[provokeesmokee]

Nah. I don't date people who make me think they're in love with or prefer someone other than me. I'm not interested in that sort of relationship.

Plus I think people can have platonic best friends of other genders. That doesn't make them cheaters - cheating makes them cheaters.

[Still-alive]

No I wouldn’t care and would trust my partner.

the only thing that’d give me pause was if they were an ex. I would want go hear from them why they are still friends.

[Lisia]

Maybe it's because I'm still young but in my opinion ties should be cut with an ex 🤷‍♀️

[Still-alive]

Indeed. There can be exceptions for me like if they show signs they’re truly over them and if its not a constant communication between them too and instead just once in awhile they chat. I don’t mind too much.

[Still-alive]

So that said if the 'best friend' was an ex yeah i think i'd have issues with that. I would really need to hear their explanation for why they are best friends.

[Likethesky]

It’s sad if there was a situation like this because I don’t believe in the concept of guy best friends. Seen too much to take a risk like that,

being totally blunt you need to investigate these somethings in the dating phase before things get serious and best friends of the opposite sex is one of them.

[EmmaMary]

I have many friends of the opposite sex, just as my husband does... It's quite simply called Trust.

[Lisia]

Friends and best friend is different.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm supposed to be her opposite sex best friend, thats what an SO is...

[Lisia]

Yeah exactly

[Anonymous]

I used to have a female best friend and I wasn't interested in her. She was just someone I found easy to talk to me and we could just talk and have fun and go to historic sites together it was good.

And I wouldn't be bothered honestly as long as it didn't seem there was more there. Then I might be a touch uncomfortable.