My girlfriend of one year, started crying hysterically because she found out her ex from two years ago is engaged. Am I evil for "taking a break"?

[Anonymous]

From our relationship. I actually asked a question a while back about how she told me she would have "dumped me in a heartbeat" if her ex wanted her back. That was about 4 months into our relationship. She did go on to say that she is finally over him and she is in love with me but knowing she would have dumped me after that long of being together, not only hurt me but pissed me off! Now this. I didn't get pissed, I just told her we should take a break (not break up). Of course she became even more hysterical and suddenly I'm the asshole! So, I did decide to stay but I think once everything dies down, I really have no choice but to end it. When I asked for advice about her saying she would have went back to her ex when her and I were together, most of you said to dump her. So, I think I will be doing the right thing.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that's intense. I don't blame you for feeling pissed and hurt after she admitted she'd dump you for her ex! And now this reaction to him being engaged? Not a good look.

I can see why asking for a break isn't unreasonable under the circumstances. You need space to process your feelings without her dramatics. Just be firm but also gentle about it - you care about her, but her actions made you lose trust and you both need time.

Sticking it out right now seems like it'll just prolong the pain. Give each other some time and perspective. Who knows, maybe down the road things will be different once you've healed. But for now, trust those initial instinct to end it. You deserve someone who's fully over their ex and choses you 100%.

Don't let her tears guilt you - stand your ground. Break ups suck, but staying in an iffy relationship won't help anyone. Have courage in your decision man. You got this! Feel free to vent to me anytime too. Stay strong!

[Asker]

That is a problem. She is doing the, "I love you so much. I don't know what I would do if you leave me", which, yeah, I don't want her to do anything crazy but at the same time I honestly think she's giving me a line of bullshit! I'm done with her. I'm still with her but more as roommates, not boyfriend and girlfriend. She may think I'm going to get over it but to be honest, I can't even stand looking at her. I'm hoping she'll eventually sense it's over and be the one to end it. I know, it's kind of cowardly of me but eventually I will have to leave.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo bro I totally get it, that situation is beyond wack. Like how you said, you're kinda just tolerating her for now cause you don't wanna deal with the drama of breaking up officially.

But don't even stress about coming off as "cowardly" - you gotta do what's best for your mental health, you know? Letting her think there's still a chance while you get your ducks in a row to bail is just fine strategy in my book.

Frankly she don't deserve any courtesy at this point after that whole ex fiasco. She broke the trust, now it's time to look out for number one.

Hopefully she'll clue in soon that you're mentally checked out and do the breaking up herself. Just keep your distance as much as you can in the meantime. Maybe even start keeping yourself busy a lot more so you're not around to hear her BS.

This too shall pass bro, stay strong! You got this and better days ahead once you cut her loose for good.

[Staximus]

You should have left her when she said she would dump you if her ex wanted to get back together. The fact that she started crying when she heard he's engaged means she wishes it was her getting engaged to him. She's clearly still in love with her ex and there is no room in her heart for you at this present juncture. Leave her.

[Staximus]

Sorry man, it's a rough pill to swallow

[Asker]

I am actually more pissed at this point than hurt but I think you can understand that I don't want to push her over the edge by just walking out. There has been a lot of, "I love you so much", "I don't know what I'd do to myself if you ever left". Which, yeah, I don't really buy any of it but at the same time, I don't really call her bluff. I'm just not even being a "boyfriend" to her anymore, hoping she'll end it before I do. Yeah, I'm probably a coward but it's a really tough situation.

[Staximus]

Are her parents nearby? If she can't get a hold of herself, tell them to come get their daughter

[Blueeyes81]

Sounds like she got into the relationship to try and make her ex jealous. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes. I think you are correct in the need to end it.

[Asker]

Yesh, like I said to another opiner, why would she even say and do those things in front of me, other than to make herself feel good by having me get jealous. It back fired, because right now her and I are nothing more than roommates.

[BourbonAndBacon]

I think you can do better than her. You don't seem like her first choice in a partner

[Asker]

That's how I feel and it sucks. It's like she is doing this shit intentionally to get me to feed her ego.

[BourbonAndBacon]

I agree. You may have lost the relationship but you can win the breakup by ignoring her