Im not really sure if I should tell her, I’ve never cheated on her and I’m very honest with her even if it hurts me and her but I don’t like to think that I ever lied to her.
This habit started way before I met my girlfriend but I’d always look at my exes instagrams not to talk to them but just look, there was no intention to talk to them or anything like that, just a bad habit I picked up.
Once I started dating my girlfriend which was year ago I still did it and eventually stopped because I came to the realization that if I do this I’ll never move on from the pain they caused me and the pain I caused them. Again not because I had feelings just because I did it and developed this bad habit.
For full transparency I’d unblock an ex and then block her or id check in on ex on my second account which because I did it so much, I just didn’t even register I was doing anything wrong or potentially wrong at first and I completely stopped for her but mostly for myself. But I feel bad for needing to hide it and I know it’s never been brought up in our conversations it just makes me feel weird that I did it
Like recently I searched someone up on instagram and deleted it and then felt awful like I was hiding something and even though it wasn’t an ex I just felt bad and I know for me i stalk a lot of people on Instagram out of boredom like that’s just what I do.
I’ve never cheated on my girlfriend and I never will, I just don’t want to talk about this to her because I doesn’t have anything to do with her but about me. I’ve worked on myself so it’s all better now, but even a year in I’m still so scared of doing anything that can hurt her.
