My husband is young working doctor and a business owner of he's own practice. He started he's business's right before we got married this year as he said he wants multiple sources of income before he starts a family. We are months in in marriage and a year or him being in he's business and money is so tight for him. He pays all the bills, I work but he allows me to keep my money, to what I want... he's a good loyal guy and all... super attracted to him as well... however he doesn't have money for dates or anything extra... It's just the basic necessities. And I sometimes get so mad and call him broke and not enough of a man for me... I'm even actively looking to cheat on him because all he thinks about is bills! I know he says he is working hard for our future but I still have needs... Taking care of bills is not enough.. I need romance and dates! Am I a ungrateful wife? Do I need a reality check? Or am I right in feeling unsatisfied?
I think both of you need a reality check. He is already paying for all the bills, it doesn't matter if he was the one who suggested it, you cannot also expect him to pay for all the dates. That goes without saying even if you were both paying the bills. Men shouldn't be the only ones paying or initiating/organizing dates. Effort goes both ways.
He needs a reality check because there will be no future he is saving for if he keeps neglecting your marriage.
You both should sit down and have a matue one to one conversation about this. Also, dates don't need to be expensive. An amazing date can be just a long walk at a nice place, like a lake, a picnic (you/he would make the food at home anyway, you probably already have a blanket or sth, a couple of towels could work too), etc. If you don't spend enough quality time together, then your marriage will fall apart.
Ask him how you can make this easier for him, so he can still do what he loves and save for your future, and so both of you can keep putting in effort for your intimacy (both of you need it, and this doesn't mean just sex).
Most Helpful Opinions
You need a reality check and I’m sorry if this comes off as harsh. Part of being married is making sacrifices. He’s sacrificing his time and money in order to provide you both a home and a future. That is a noble man and a rare find in this current dating market. You’d be foolish to give that up just to satisfy your own selfish desires. And yes, those desires are selfish.
You have money, why can’t you pay for dates? If all of his money is going towards putting a roof over your head I. e a mortgage, access to water, electricity, gas for the house, internet, probably a car, gas for that car, insurance, a phone, food, you know and all these basic necessities you’re complaining about…where is your money going? What are you doing for his benefit or better yet the benefit of your marriage?
Rule number one in relationships: it can’t be all about you anymore.
I don;t know if ungrateful is the right word but you are something alright. It is hard to get a business off the ground. It ia a lot of work and most of the proceeds have to be reinvested in the business. I imagine it costs a lot to outfit a doctor's office. His malpractice insurance is a fortune too.
I am sure there are plenty of girls that would like to be married to a hard working doctor. You should be extra nice to this guy.
On one hand, you're probably a little bit ungrateful, but on the other hand, it's not hard to understand what you're probably going through. I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well if you want.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
6Opinion
Yeah that's fucked up to expect so much from him. He already pays all the bills for you
What you feel is nothing new or unexpected. Yes, he has his business. Also, being a doctor is quite a hard occupation.
Another thing is his need for security. He meets it by earning money (as my husband does). This is something you can't change.
Being honest about your feelings is the first step to help you and your husband. First, if you have your money and you know how tight he is about money, just sponsor your dates.
Another thing. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you understand, that he is securing family and his business. Tell him you will sponsor dates, but you expect him to find time for it.
Talk to him and make compromises.Whoa, he's a 9 out of 10 on the perfect husband scale, and you're looking for reasons to be upset. It sounds like the bigger issue is that you two need to divorce so he can be with someone who loves him. Yes, you are ungrateful. But, t he bigger issue is that this marriage won't work, because you don't sound like you actually love or appreciate him and all he does. You're also about to hurt him. So, just leave while things are good rather than make things worse. Go find someone that matches who you are better.
I think you need a reality check.
He pays all the bills and lets you keep your own earnings for yourself. You could take HIM on a date, but instead you say you’re actively looking to cheat on him and verbally abuse him. Pretty fucked up. He deserves better. 🤷♀️
You make your own money and it hasn't crossed your mind you could I don't know use that for dates. You are not only an ungrateful wife you should divorce him because clearly you are only going to destroy his life and he doesn't deserve that
You’re the very definition of gold digger. Why don’t you just divorce as he can find an understanding and supportive wife and you can find a trash guy with money?
You’re allowed to be upset that your husband isn’t doing anything to show that he loves you in a way you can understand. Cheating on him would make you the asshole tho
What is he Dr. Pepper? How can he be a Dr. And not have any money.😆
To answer your question yeah you are kind of ungrateful. You married him because he was Dr. And was attractive. I think you need to decide what you REALLY WANT. You cannot have it all. I think you're probably with the wrong person. I feel bad for this guy because you're going to end it at some point. And he probably doesn't realize that.
You are right to feel that you should be satisfied. Should definitely find someone who can meet your needs.
You need to find someone else that can meet your needs.
You are an ungrateful wife.
Yes.
You're trash
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!