My best friend is in love with me. what should I do?

[Anonymous]

after my boyfriend and i had a spat i made some realizations that maybe i might have feelings for my best friend. he’s always been there for me and gotten me through tough situations with my boyfriend. for some background, i have never met my best friend in person. we met online and became close that way. he lives a few states over from me and we’ve just never met in the two years we’ve been friends. my boyfriend and i have been together for 2.5 years this month. my boyfriend and i have had some issues and i’ve debated multiple times if it was best for the both of us if we moved on. however, we’ve stayed together in the end due to certain obligations. though, i absolutely adore my boyfriend, i love him so much but i can’t help but feel some kind of love towards my best friend. i don’t feel sexually attracted to him, though i do have issues with attraction. i have to be physically close with people to be able to feel that. but, after around 6 months from my realizations i actually told my friend i had a platonic love for him and he confessed that he loved me but i feel as though his love is more romantic than mine. he seems to be opening up a bit more about his feelings but they make me feel dirty. like i am having some kind of emotional fling with him even though i have made clear boundaries that i only see him as a friend and i care only about the relationship with my boyfriend. i just don’t know what to do. i feel like i have made a huge mistake with telling my best friend that i care for him deeply. my boyfriend is aware that i have feelings and care about him, it is no secret, but now i feel like i have to hide from my boyfriend because my friend sees it as something more.

[SueShe]

You don't do anything because what will happen is that you will ruin your friendship with this long distance friend. That is a guarantee. What will happen?

You will continue to have this platonic liking for someone that is hundreds of miles away and that you basically only know through text and perhaps video calls. Basically, you are in love with a digital being composed of 1s and 0s, that you have never seen in real life and that could be hiding a number of very negative things about himself. He could have "accidentally" left out that he has a criminal record, that he is an addict and that he has a fathered 3 children with previous relationships. What I am saying is that you are a bit light headed with your long distance relationship.

What will happen next? Your actual boyfriend will leave you (or you will leave him) and you will find out that a long distance relationship cannot work on the long run. Result: You will suddenly be alone. Is this really worth it?

[Anonymous]

How can someone be your best friend if you have never met in person?

[Asker]

i can see you’re older, which i guess would be unusual for you. i understand it’s different now, but with the rise of social media and other online platforms it has become quite easy to build relationships with those who are at a distance. we do everything normal best friends would do except physically hang out. we talk on the phone, play games together and a lot more. meeting someone in person can definitely change how you feel, but i think there are a lot of people who share the same situation where they have never met their friends, or even significant others in real life. for some people connecting online can be hard, but for me, i am not much of a physical contact person so it really does not bother me.

[Iron_Man]

I knew it girls should never have male friends when in a relationship

[Billlewis]

Maybe try dating them both for a while and see what you think.

[In_Trance]

men and women can't be friends. this is exactly why

[Anonymous]

Tell him how you feel?