My childhood male friend is in love with me. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So long story short I have a best male friend since before I could even walk and a few years back he told me he was in love with me but I didn't feel the same way so he stopped talking to me, just recently we started talking again and he kept trying to date me again after I've told him many times I don't want a relationship and I don't feel that way about him and that I still need to focus on me and grieve to the loss of my father who passed a year ago, he still wouldn't understand and was basically begging me to give him chance even if the feelings weren't mutual. He recently stopped talking and deleted me from Facebook. Should I just forget about him and never bother with him again? It's sad because we were so close as kids, pretty much like a brother and so close with me and my family it breaks my heart that he's being like this and not respecting my feelings.

[Phoenix-gb]

Unfortunately he caught feelings that you didn't and wants more out of the relationship than you are prepared to give. It's likely that, at least until he finds someone who does want the same relationship as he's looking for, those feelings aren't going to go completely away.

He's definitely being the jerk by not respecting your boundaries and accepting your wishes, especially while you're going through a tough time. But while you don't owe him a relationship, he doesn't owe you a friendship if it's going to hurt him knowing you don't feel the same way he does.

This is something that's going to have grown over the whole time you've known each other, so it's going to take time or someone else showing him what he's looking for, for that to shift back down to just being friends.

[LaNc3L0TT]

I don't have some long opinion regarding this, but I can say your situation is little bit tricky. It seems that he doesn't "understand" and keep pushing in that direction which you are not obligated to take. Just leave as it is, don't have contact with him and you will help him more like that instead keeping him close and giving fake hope. I know it is hard but I think its only right way in this situation.

[Asker]

This was the most helpful answer yet. Thank you so much.

[Staximus]

I don't see what losing your father has to do with having a relationship. Your father would want you to move forward with your life. Why would this guy (who you know very well) not be as good for you as a stranger? Is there something wrong with him, or he is just not somebody you are attracted to?

[Asker]

Because I'm someone who wants to be left alone and grieve and I feel I'm not in any state to be dating anyone at this time. Because he's like a brother to me and I don't like him that way. I've never developed feelings for him or been in love with him. I'm not attracted to him in general and see him as a brother, nothing more.

[Staximus]

let the guy piss off until he's ready to accept just being like a brother. About your dad, it's been a year already. You can't just sit there and wallow in misery forever. You have to get up, go out, and start living your life again. I'm sure your father would want to you continue living your life. I have lost both my parents, my mom died when I was 20. You can't just sit there and be sad forever, it's not going to make you feel any better. Being left alone is just going to make you feel worse.

[Iron_Man]

Tell him no
we’ve been friends our whole lives