Am I being unreasonable? If so, what should I do?

Question

We’re a new couple, but he has a lot of girl friends. These girl friends post pictures that show more skin than I have ever showed him tbh. I’m a conservative person, and generally to myself. And don’t really have friends either. But for the most part I was content before he came into the picture. But now that he’s in my life I’m always feeling more self-conscious, and he has told me that he has “messed around” with a couple of those friends in the past after I was questioning him about it. So I do know that with some of them there has been some sexual attraction at least. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? And what should I do?

My only other boyfriend was like me pretty much, didn’t have many friends, especially of the opposite sex. To himself a lot, and I was his first for a lot of things, including first girlfriend and kiss. So I didn’t have this feeling of insecurity before. But with this new relationship it’s hanging over me every second I think about it.

smne35 · Accepted Answer

What ever you do, do not compromise your ethics morals or integrity for nothing or no one don't be pressured or feel that to keep this person you must change for them if they cannot accept you as you are for what you Believe and stand for then you need to ask is this person good for you, right for you, once you start changing yourself in anyway to fit in it won't stop there and before you realize you can lose yourself, it's fine for guys to have female friends and vice versa, but when they admit that yeah I had sex with them no big deal, don't think they won't do so again just because you're together you have to consider with all you know about his behavior if this is something you really want to or should pursue, and if so what are you willing to tolerate and what, how much of yourself are you willing to lose or compromise

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No there’s nothing wrong w that. I personally don’t think men or women should be friends w their ex. The only reason I believe there should be communication between ex’s is if they had children. But no they shouldn’t be friends. Because chances are if they’ve had a history, there’s a chance they’d hookup again if things went wrong between the two of you. Even if it was a little bump in the road. So you either address that w him. If he’s serious about you he will understand. I don’t like ultimatums, this isn’t one. Someone who cares about someone that much will understand w out having to be manipulated. If he chooses to continue to do what he’s doing than that is on you to either stay or leave for something that’s more ideal for you.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

It's normal, that your boyfriend had a life before he met you. Accept it. Even if you are together, it doesn't mean other women disappear or become unattractive. Your boyfriend has eyes and a brain, and everything works as expected.|

So if you feel uncomfortable, then talk to him. Not about him. About you and your feelings and your expectations. Then listen to him. Then, ask him how you can merge the expectations of both sides to keep you safe and he can still be himself. Make a deal, compromise and set boundaries. You are adults... act as such...

AutumnSerenity · Accepted Answer

You’re going to have to cut him off/end things. You won’t be able to tell him to cut off his friends - it’s controlling and never works out in the end. That’s something he has to do on his own. Overall, he’s too immature to make you a priority. This will end in one of two ways: 1.) he’ll cheat on you if he isn’t already or 2.) he’ll use you until he gets bored and dumps you. If you stay, it’ll change you (but this lesson will help you later in life).

Nice222 · Answer

Just remember he chose to start a relationship with you and not them. He may have fools around with them in the past but he chose a relationship with you. For whatever reason he thinks you are better and more worth his time and energy of building a relationship. You both had a past and you should both respect and celebrate that. Your past led you to each other and helped you both realize the value in each other.
stick with him and work on the relationship and he will slowly lose interest in the other women.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Girl one thing I've learn the hard way. Millenial guys and guts your age out of no where changed and exchange girlsblike coldturkey without caring the relationship they had developed woth that special person. Guys our agebgroup are womanizers.

Johnny2479 · Answer

Well he picked you as a girlfriend so he obviously finds you attractive and enjoys being around you hence like your personality. So you should try to open up them a little more if you want to keep him. I'm just being honest. It probably sounds terrible and sad but if you're not giving him what he needs in a relationship he's going to find it in one of those other girls he's friends with. He obviously likes you, find you attractive and wants to do those sexy things with you that's why you're his girlfriend and they aren't. If you love him and want him push the shyness aside don't let him slip away.

Kaamraj · Answer

You chose him right, knowing that he has plenty of female friends, it was probally one of the reasons why you chose him because he knows how to talk to women, then why are you upset with your choice. You got what you wanted. And if the genders were reversed and he told you not to be friends with your male friends, would you oblige. If so then talk to him and tell him what bothers you, if he agrees then good, if he doesn't then maybe you need to reconsider your choices.

Staximus · Answer

Unreasonable for feeling what way? You still haven't really said anything about the way you feel, besides feeling more comfortable with your ex who was an antisocial weirdo. It's unreasonable for you to expect your new boyfriend to not have friends. Normal people have friends. There is really nothing for you to be worried about here.

boggboss · Answer

Just end things I don't see hownthis works out without u telling him to cut off friends wich is a unreasonable requires that tends to backfire

WhitneySnow · Answer

You’re jealous. And in this case since he’s admitted to messing around with a couple of his friends I think you’re right to be jealous

pickles77 · Answer

Your not wrong for feeling like that, it’s probably why he’s just hooking up with them and not doing anything serious so definitely don’t do what they do but he should consider finding other friends that he’s not trying to screw.

007kingifrit · Answer

men and women are NEVER just friends, he is going to have to put some of those friendships on ice. and you should have the self respect to communicate this with him

OddBeMe · Answer

No that’s not unreasonable. I would ask why you’re not showing him more skin than IG friends? Either they’re porn stars or your relationship just started.

Crankor · Answer

You would have to really know what type of person he is. Is he just going down the line or is he actually looking for commitment?

In_Trance · Answer

Yes I don't think this is going to end well

Anonymous · Answer

Wear wear the style you want

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆

Am I being unreasonable? If so, what should I do?

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