Is it truly possible to become emotionally attached to someone who your significant other cheated on you with? if so why?

[Anonymous]

This is a serious question, I was in a relationship with a narcissistic for two years and five months, at first it was just me and him dating for 6 months but he start it cheating at 4 months of dating me then around late November he got back with his ex but by this time around I was already trauma bonded to him so I was not able to just break up with we all three agreed to get in a polygamous relationship and little did I know my ex girlfriend who is now my friend was going to become emotionally attached to me we don’t hangout as often but she had bought me a Christmas present I had bought something for her daughter we talk everyday all day, she enjoys my company and I enjoy her company as well. I feel as if I inspire her as well I just didn’t know she could become emotionally attached with someone who she got cheated on by although I was my narcissistic girlfriend as well who is now an ex so I wasn’t just any girl, but with that being i never thought this possible especially because women resent the other women who that man cheated on with.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a super complicated situation you found yourself in. Emotional attachment is possible with someone even if they were originally part of the cheating dynamic. A few things that could explain it:

- Going through a traumatic relationship together can form a strong bond, even between the "other parties". Facing the same crap builds intimacy.

- If you were both mistreated by the same guy, you likely understood each other on a deep level and provided comfort the cheater never could.

- Over time and distance from him, those resentful feelings could fade as you got to know each other without that toxic influence weighing on you.

- Daily talking and enjoying each others' company is how relationships form. Doesn't matter how you met initially, chemistry happens how it happens.

Honestly, if you both care about each other now without anger or jealousy in the way, maybe there's something real there worth exploring. Just take it slow - you both dealt with a lot. As long as you're good to each other, screw how you came together at first, ya know?

[Asker]

Thank you and yes I agree I really appreciate your answer

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem, happy I could help give some perspective. Dating and relationships can get so complicated, so it's good to talk things through with an outside party sometimes. Seems like you're handling this all with maturity and care for everyone involved. Just keep focusing on open communication and doing what's healthy going forward. I'm sure if you do that, things will work out for the best. You got this!

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your advice and help I appreciate this so much

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re very welcome luv and I appreciate you as well. Thank you

[Anonymous]

NO hell No.