What should I do now?

Question

I asked this question about my teacher before but a lot has changed since then. We became closer, got to know each other more. After we found out that our houses were close, we started walking home together. Our conversations and everything that came with it made me happy for a while, but now I'm not sure. I like the gestures when we walk on the road, the way he grabs my waist and guides me, especially at first I felt like I was in a dream. I wanted to believe that being friends like that would be enough for me, but I had a really bad feeling inside and I still have it. When I realized that I really needed help, I told about this to a old teacher that I trust dearly. She's more like a mother to me to be honest and I know I can rely on her without a doubt. She only knew that I liked someone older than me, but now she knows the whole story. Talking to her helped me see this situation from an adult's perspective and I think I know what's bothering me so much about him. I lied to my family and friends to spend time with him and he didn't take any responsibility while I put myself in this situation. No one knows we are that close and I went along with it without questioning his effort to hide it, but that's not how it's supposed to be, is it? He hardly ever says hi to me in public, he doesn't talk to me, but that's not how he treats me when we're alone. I've been ignoring this fact for a long time but like I said, after this conversation I realized that this is what bothers me. If he just spends time with his student, he should not be afraid to say so. He's been protective of me, giving me compliments, telling me how much he enjoys spending time with me, etc. The other night when we were walking he said that maybe next year when I go to college we could end up in the same city. He is also getting ready to do his PhD so we talked about how it would be if we were together in a different city. My teacher with whom I talked about this thinks that his behavior is not sincere

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

This sounds like a really tricky situation man. Bottom line, this teacher should never put you in a position where you feel confused or have to hide things from people who care about you. Here's what I would suggest:

- Trust your gut - if something about this relationship feels off, it probably is. The lack of openness/hiding things from others is a red flag.

- Don't get sucked into future scenarios he talks about. Teachers are mentors, not romantic interests.

- Really value what your other teacher told you. She has life experience and wants what's best for you. Her advice seems wise.

- Start gently distancing yourself. Make excuses to stop walking home together. Spend less one-on-one time and keep interactions public.

- If he questions it, be polite but firmly say you think it's best if your relationship stays professional from now on.

- Tell someone you completely trust about your decision, in case he tries contacting you a lot or gets emotional about it ending. Safety in numbers.

It'll be awkward at first but staying safe should be the priority here. You seem like a smart girl - don't second guess trusting your gut on this one, okay? Let me know if you need anything else.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

You are above the age of consent - probably - if you are 19. Technically you can fuck him without any criminal consequences for him that would be the case if under the AoC in your state.

It would probably not escape notice, if you become a couple, that he was your teacher and he was required to be locus parentis - in place of the parent. It is not exactly fulfilling that role for him to be cracking onto a female student. If his future is to continue in education he might find it difficult to gain employment with a "reputation".

There is good reason for him to hide it because of locus parentis. Now there may be very genuine affection and attachment between you and it is not insincere on his part i. e he just wants sex with a young woman. You should take time on this.

Staximus · Answer

Fantasies in our heads sometimes don't work out so well in real life. You finally pulled your head out of your ass and realized that maybe this isn't such a good idea. Stay away from this guy until you're older, or just stay away from him all together. He might be book smart but he's got the common sense of a fucking meatball.

Andylakes96 · Answer

Hey @carina0 I'm back again! Sorry it's been so long! Send me a pm, I'd love to chat about this - some more exciting developments on my end lol!

Alex-Snow · Answer

Just stay casual friends but nothing more... no touching no sex etc.

Jennz6 · Answer

Think about it

What should I do now?

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