Do gender roles matter to you in a relationship?

[LadyKitty]

Yes

No

[dynamicyandere]

It doesn’t need to be gender-specific.


But, I believe role-delegation makes a lot of sense, whether in a male/male relationship or a female/female relationship or male/female relationship, things run smoother when there are people in designated roles.


Whoever takes on what roles and responsibilities is going to highly depend on the couple, what works well for them, what feels right for them.


For me, I don’t mind working 70+ hours a week, night shifts, to support my significant other and I.


For her, something that intense would burn her out.


She’s happy to help me out in other ways whenever she can and she provides me with a lot of emotional support.


If her and I were to swap genders, the roles would be the same, because our personalities would still be the same.


Instead of the male breadwinner, I would then be the female breadwinner, providing for us financially.


Separate roles can make practical sense without being tied to a particular gender.


You just need to find what works best for your unique personalities and situation.

[dynamicyandere]

Thanks for the MHO! 🙂

[LadyKitty]

This is a sensible approach to it while some people adhere to 'traditional' roles its not a bandaid for everyone. For example I am the breadwinner in my own relationship!

[LadyKitty]

Best response to this question lol

[dynamicyandere]

Very true. Not all men have the same personalities and strengths and likewise with women. Every couple needs to figure out what works for them. Whatever is “traditional” might not work for many couples.

Nice! 💪 You’re a good example of someone who enjoys and prefers being the breadwinner, despite whatever “traditional” gender roles dictate. I too, would enjoy and prefer to be the breadwinner, even if I was born a woman.

Thanks! 🙂

[zeitgeist057]

Well, I'm nonbinary actually, partly because of how I feel about this question. I enjoy lots of things that are seen as "female": sewing, cooking, cleaning, childcare, shopping. But also I think it's completely fabricated that those things are "female" in the first place. Gender roles are illusions, at least imho. I get that other people feel they are very real, and so they are: to them. That's how illusions work.

[LadyKitty]

True people equate these things but people also forget we don't live in cave man times and women in history still had jobs in some capacity because if you didn't work you starved or froze to death.

[zeitgeist057]

I agree we all do something to contribute or end up out in the cold so to speak, caveman times to current era. It's the idea that "men only do _____, and women only do ______" that is illusory 95%+ of the time. There are certainly differences anatomically and some biochemical as well, but having a male body never kept me from doing anything I was interested in.

[grega239]

They are real. Thats why men work on oil rigs and women dont

[LadyKitty]

@grega239 So your argument comes from a job that most people don't even work in, and because it is male dominated you have conclude gender roles exist? There are exceptions to every rule too. In what way does oil rigging affect a relationship?

[grega239]

My point was the difference in physical ability as evidence of gender roles exsiting.
Exceptions prove the rule.
You mentioned cave men times. Women didn't hunt mamoths did they?

[LadyKitty]

@grega239 Are yuou hunting wooly mammoths today? No. Also the only reason men are bigger is due to sexual dimorphism. We live in a modern society. If you believe in traditional roles go for it but it doesn't apply to everyone.

[grega239]

I would but theyre extinct.
Said sexual dimorphism is tze reason for gender roles.
we live in modern times? Ok. I hope you dont expect men to do anything that would be considered a gender role amd do it yourself instead

[zeitgeist057]

@grega239 https://youtu.be/pybhT3G0OxQ?si=8bOOtr5c2WVVJc4C

one of many easily googled examples

[grega239]

Did i ever say this is not a thing?
But its an exception. The video title is roughneck. So im assuming she grew up with hard work being a constant. I know women like that. Few and far between
Are women on average this tough?
Im gonna say no

[zeitgeist057]

@grega239 yes you did say this is not a thing, are you unable to scroll up and see what you wrote? Here it is, a cut and paste quote from you: “ men work on oil rigs and women dont”

[zeitgeist057]

People are much harder to gaslight when your words are right there and you can’t edit or erase them.

[grega239]

I did say that. I also assumed you'd take it as a generalisation and i dont need to be specific

[OlderAndWiser]

I am a man and not a woman. There are things for which I have more aptitude and ability because I am a male. And I enjoy doing those things. On the other hand, there are things for which my fiancee seems to have innate abilities, she enjoys doing them, and I don't. Traditional gender roles make perfect sense for us. . . and it's not an illusion, as some may rather arrogantly claim.

[normalice]

To a point. I'm perhaps a bit on the spectrum so what matters to me above all is efficiency. If I see a tall person working on floors or a partially deaf person working in customer service some back part of my brain spits out a compiler warning - surely, there is some task the company needs performed that can take advantage of someone being 8 feet tall that doesn't just add more strain on him than it would on most to stand up and kneel down as part of their job. And surely there is some other task at a company a person who has trouble hearing could perform - preferably one that doesn't require them to routinely hear what customers are saying.

That said I don't really know that there are gender roles. Birth and breast feeding, sure. But beyond that it doesn't seem like any particular gender is better suited to any particular task. Men were generally better at the heavy lifting until someone invented fork lifts, for example. I'm mildly competent at car repair but my cousin (girl) can run circles around me, because she has a whole shop at her disposal. The gap between what men and women can do has narrowed with technology and so what gender roles really seem to be about is people insisting certian work is be beneath them (or beyond them) due to their gender.

I know better than most that there is substantial overlap between laziness and seeking greater efficiency, but the way people argue for gender roles is not in that overlap - it is neither lazy nor seeking efficiency. It is pure malice. They are creating what is called a "wedge issue" to keep people mad at each other. Because angry people don't think they just seek more anger to keep feeling young and powerful. But if these people did start thinking they would consider who is trying so hard to keep them mad and what are they doing with that distraction. And the answers are right wing political operatives and writing unpopular republican legislation into law.

[TenderFantasy]

No not to me..

If I EVER in my life meet someone nice and is ready to marry me and he wants to be a stay-at-home dad and I bring home the bacon so to speak, then yeah I'm down with that I don't mind! Not at all.

I think it would be a cute thing if he were like that Mr. Mom movie!

Umm lol!

Lol! It would be so sweet to see my husband looking like that with my breastmilk in one hand and the baby on the other! So cute!

This picture would be PERFECT if he just displayed his wedding ring lol

Now THAT'S what nature intended for people to do! Why men don't like doing this puzzles me/confuses me!

[JustinTheGreat]

I’m gay, so I don’t have to worry about “gender” roles necessarily. However I do think dominant/submissive roles are important to me.

i like to be the submissive one. I like to be with a man who’s gonna protect and take care of me, yanno? 🥲 it must stem from the daddy issues lol.

[LadyKitty]

lmao hey everyone has their preferences, No judgement lol

[sawno]

Absolutely, there is no getting away with it. I do prefer traditional gender roles since my job works best if I can work most days of the week and i'd love her to look after the children if we have any so they can be raised responsibly without other people putting weird ideas in their minds.

But lets say my girl would rather split 50/50, then you still have the exact same gender roles to fulfill just on different days like my parents used to do. Sometimes my mom was home, sometimes my dad was home. Both did housekeeping and took care of me, but not on the same day unless it was weekend. And both had a part time job.

[Joshydavid25]

Gender roles are a result of natural tendencies between men and women being used to help with the survival of the species.. With that being said, I don't have a strong desire for them per say.. When we mostly think of traditional, we think of the exaggeration of it.. When traditionally while men went out and women stayed home, it was always more of a team effort to each other's strengths and weaknesses..

[IslaTheWitch]

People matter to me. Their uniqueness, personal preferences, and things which make them happy and satisfied.

My ego is not big enough to tell others what they should do and how they should live.

If he wants to cook or do laundry, why not? I definitely can provide for the family :D

But I'm a fan of communication and finding a balance in everything we do.

[aceleon]

yes and no.

for job and career? i don't give a fuck about money or such things. i am a primativist.

for leading, roles in bed and social life? absolutly, iam the man of the house, i lead, you suggest, i debate/consider and İ decide.

in bed, i fuck, you get fucked, but i get serviced and you are serving, also girls are allowed with both of us consent but no other guys are allowed to be even mentioned.

[Simslover92]

I'm very traditional and old school so they do matter to me. I don't mind being a stay at home wife if the opportunity presented itself.

I'm not knocking the more progressive women out there that are not for traditional roles but I'm not progressive when it comes to that.

[NathanDavis]

no... never cared for it, never needed to either

[Anonymous]

I might be traditional but I just can't see a man masculine enough if he doesn't work

[LadyKitty]

Why do believe if a man doesn't work, He can't be masculine?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I do
Working and earning a living is a basic sign of masculinity, doesn't matter what the job is (In my humble opinion)

[LadyKitty]

How do you view it if a woman is working and earning a living then? Woudld you say she is masculine then?

[LadyKitty]

@Asad1ONE1 Which one are you referring to? I have a partner lol

[Opinion Owner]

@Asad1ONE1 Oh shut up incel

[LadyKitty]

@Asad1ONE1 Happier than you. I don't base my happiness though on them. You though seem to be quite miserable based on your comments.

[LadyKitty]

@Asad1ONE1 Oh yea the idea of masculinity being tied to work is silly considering both me and women have to work to live even people sitting at home are doing work even if its unpaid.

[LadyKitty]

@Asad1ONE1 I don't believe in gender roles because I have never desired to wanna be some stay at home wife. I believe in people can choose to live how they like regardless if it is traditional or not.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to say they don't matter at all. I'm sure she's like me to remember I'm a man. In certain ways I'd like her to remember she's a woman. But when you form a relationship and get comfortable with someone, those roles i do think get a little relaxed. Because if you can't relax with the person you love a bit what was the point of forming the relationship with them?

[Anonymous]

I love that my wife loves working and works, don't know if that's against the gender roles

But I don't know I just wanna work even if her income is enough, doesn't feel right

[Gina66]

Things work better when a woman is feminine and a man is masculine, it's just natural.

[Theonlyolympian]

AMEN! I can’t agree more with this

[LadyKitty]

Not necessarily. Everyone is different. For me personally I have never desired to be a house wife or a traditional woman.

[KrakenAttackin]

For 200K years plus (depending on your belief system), gender roles have served humanity very well. Only humans are so fucking arrogant that we think we can turn evolution 180 degrees in 50 years. IMHO, THIS is why we are in turmoil today.

[LadyKitty]

Well I believe it comes down to individuals because for example I have never had the desire to be a housewife. I like earning my own income etc.

[KrakenAttackin]

@LadyKitty. On your death bed you will wish you had grandchildren holding your hand, and not just memories of a corner office.

[LadyKitty]

You assume I am single with no children. I have a partner and a child I cherish both of them. I can make memories but still pursue my dreams. I don't work a 9 to 5 job in an office, I have the privalege to work from home in a career that I love.

[KrakenAttackin]

@LadyKitty. Ok, that's better than a "boss babe".

[LadyKitty]

Well If a woman wants to be career oriented or a boss babe in your terms then that is completely up to her. Just like if a woman wants to be a housewife, I wouldn't tell her that she is wrong for being traditional.

[KrakenAttackin]

"That's up to her"... no shit, tell me something I don't know. She can also worship Satan, become a meth addict, essentially be morally bankrupt.

[LadyKitty]

Haha, That is what makes the world great in a way everyone have different views but everyone thinks their view or way is the right one.

[KrakenAttackin]

@LadyKitty. The world (and families) used to work, now we are massively dysfunctional.

[LadyKitty]

The world has always been dysfunctional.

[KrakenAttackin]

That's a cop out. The family used to do well, now the family is being driven out of existence.

[LadyKitty]

Its not a cop out if its a fact. At one point in history, Do you think things were doing so well?

[Yannae]

Yes. Whether the man works or stays at home, it's still a role. And an important one.

[Luckycharms12]

Am depends on the people I need to work for mental health and I love my job

[straightmax12]

It really depends if the woman wants to be traditional herself, not just the man being traditional in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Traditional gende roles make great sense in many relationships if you can pull your head out of the feminist books long enough think objectively and pragmatically.

[LadyKitty]

Thats quite the assumption. I am not even a feminist nor do I subscribe to their books, I believe in equal rights and opportunities regardless of gender. Everyone is different and one way is not better than the other.

[Opinion Owner]

And that's why I wrote "in many relationships ".

[Opinion Owner]

And when I said "you", I didn't mean you in particular. Sorry for the confusion.

[LadyKitty]

All good!

[Opinion Owner]

Cheers

[Date_a_Snob]

being trans gender roles changed drastically for me when I was 18

so yes they matter