So me and my girlfriend have been dating for an over a year, things are great. We are from two different countries. I was very privileged growing up, especially compared to where my girlfriend came from.
Recently I traveled with her to her home country for the first time and it was fantastic, but whenever she would introduce me, it was almost always followed by “and the food there is horrible. It’s so much better here” I really wasn’t bothered by it because I loved her country’s food and thought it was much better and more unique. None of it was directed at me, but it started to bother me as she did it more, and I said “ok, I get it, but not everything is better, you just haven’t had the right food”.
Later on she brought it up sort of mocking me in a girlfriend/boyfriend sort of way. And I said “I just don’t like when you introduce me to someone and immediately list something bad, you can say you like the food better without specifically saying how bad my country’s food is”. Because honestly I agree, the food is much better but I want her to present me in a good light since there was a language barrier and I couldn’t really speak for myself. I honestly don’t know why I reacted the way I did, I really don’t have much loyalty to my country’s food. I think it was just that she was specifically saying something bad. Like I would never introduce her to someone and then follow it up with, “but her country does this horribly”.
This ended up turning into a much more serious conversation than I intended. She was saying that she doesn’t need to say what’s great about my country cuz everyone already knows, and she didn’t realize I didn’t like it. I honestly didn’t realize I didn’t like it either until she kept doing it. She apologized and I told her I really don’t care, I would just rather her talk about the positives or differences rather than focus in on what is bad and not. We are good now and we talked it out, but I can’t stop thinking about it & feel I overreacted.
Recently I traveled with her to her home country for the first time and it was fantastic, but whenever she would introduce me, it was almost always followed by “and the food there is horrible. It’s so much better here” I really wasn’t bothered by it because I loved her country’s food and thought it was much better and more unique. None of it was directed at me, but it started to bother me as she did it more, and I said “ok, I get it, but not everything is better, you just haven’t had the right food”.
Later on she brought it up sort of mocking me in a girlfriend/boyfriend sort of way. And I said “I just don’t like when you introduce me to someone and immediately list something bad, you can say you like the food better without specifically saying how bad my country’s food is”. Because honestly I agree, the food is much better but I want her to present me in a good light since there was a language barrier and I couldn’t really speak for myself. I honestly don’t know why I reacted the way I did, I really don’t have much loyalty to my country’s food. I think it was just that she was specifically saying something bad. Like I would never introduce her to someone and then follow it up with, “but her country does this horribly”.
This ended up turning into a much more serious conversation than I intended. She was saying that she doesn’t need to say what’s great about my country cuz everyone already knows, and she didn’t realize I didn’t like it. I honestly didn’t realize I didn’t like it either until she kept doing it. She apologized and I told her I really don’t care, I would just rather her talk about the positives or differences rather than focus in on what is bad and not. We are good now and we talked it out, but I can’t stop thinking about it & feel I overreacted.
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Dude, no way - I don't think you overreacted at all. I'd feel the same way in your situation.
When you're in another country with your girl, you want her backing you up and presenting you positively to people, you know? Not putting down where you're from right off the bat. That's just bad manners.
Even if the food is objectively better where she's from, there's no need to constantly focus on the negative like that. I can see how over time it would get annoying and make you feel self-conscious or judged.
You handled it well by trying to have a calm discussion about it instead of blowing up. And it's good you told her how it made you feel instead of bottling it up. Now she understands where you're coming from.
I think some people just don't realize how comments like that could impact someone until you point it out. Seems like she cares about your feelings and will watch what she says from now on. Communication is key, bro. You did the right thing by having an open talk about it.
Don't stress too much - you were just looking out for yourself, which is totally valid. Seems like you guys sorted it out in a healthy way. Props for that. Keep it positive!
For sure, it initially got a little heated in private but she understood and we worked it out and she started talking differently about it. It was just so weird because I really don’t care, it wasn’t a big deal but this was my first time spending this much time in another country where I didn’t speak the language well, so I couldn’t contribute much. She was great in listening to me, I just hated that something that didn’t really matter much to me ended up causing a bigger argument
Yeah man I get it, when you're in a new place where you don't speak the language as well it can make you feel kind of helpless sometimes. And little things like that probably bugged you more just cause you couldn't easily stand up for yourself. But it was good that you were both able to talk it out and she listened - communicating is important. And don't feel too bad, sometimes little stuff just blows up bigger than it needs to cause tempers get high. As long as you're past it now that's all that matters. Just keep enjoying your time together overseas, language barrier or no - that's the important part! Glad you guys were able to work it out.
Hahahaha , You must be from USA and she is from somewhere in Asia , she is this case is 100% correct , its correct , mai pen rai , don't worry about it , she is spot on. so who cares.
In Asian life , food and the social interaction that goes with it , is everything.
Food taste is subjective. What one finds it amazing another may find it unappealing, bland or even inedible. Unless people practice cannibalism or the food hygiene is poor I don’t put it down in my judgment. That would be arrogant.
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