What traditional gender beliefs do you approve of and disapprove of?

Question

I approve of abstinence marriage, monogmay, not having friends of. the opposite sex.

I don't necessarily approve of taking the man's last name.

I disapprove of getting married before having a good career.

I disapporve of women being financially dependent on their husbands.

I disapprove of men paying for the dates or buying more expensive gifts than their women do for them.

Just my opinion. Now share yours.

Updates

3 mo

LOL
abstinence till marriage not abstinence marriage

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

i think it's totally fine for a woman to be financially dependend on their husband. because if the marriages goal is "the success of their offspring" vs "each individual partners personal economical success", then that makes more sense. rising kids is a full time job and in todays modern society, i do not trust any service provider with that, cause my kid will be indoctrinated with bullshit i disagree with and that i will have a hard time keeping my kid away from. like the lgbtq bullshit and that entire woke culture around supposed "discrimination", "racism" and idiotic ecologic goals. but to be fair tho, i do believe it would be fine vice versa. like if the father decided to be stay at home. but realisicly that's a too far fetched idea even the most progressive libtard for some dumb reason.

i think it would be smart to take the "better" last name for either partner.

i think monogamy is best. tho abstinence is extreme and friends of opposite sex are fine. loyalty exists for a reason. loyalty can't exist, if you're hiding from opportunities where you can show that you're loyal.

i think the question of paying for dates is fucking dumb. in todays day and age everyone can afford getting lunch. and if they can't they should probably not be looking for a partner but for a job.

love_conquers_lust · Accepted Answer

I approve of abstinence and sex after engagement. My opinion on this is getting more liberal as I age.

Approve of monogamy. Disapprove of being denied friends of the opposite sex, as in the choice is taken from them because of an insecure spouse. I also disapprove of infidelity and a spouse not being trustworthy around other people.

Pick a new name entirely if it bothers the both of you.

Tolerate marriage before a career. Advise against not having any career at all. Not unethical to go one way or the other. I’d rather both spouses be independent in securing their own livelihoods.

Financial dependence on a spouse is same, not unethical one way or the other. It’s prudent not to be, but marriages ebb and flow and it’s perfectly okay to lean on someone in times of need, that’s what unconditionally means.

Again, don’t care one way or the other. I think it’s more engaging when dates do nice things for one another if they feel so inclined. It shouldn’t be obligatory.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I disapprove a woman being financially dependent on a man.

I agree that a man and a woman should try to contribute equally to their relationship.

I approve of him being my priority over my opposite sex friends. I have blocked opposite sex friends because my then-partner communicated his worry about them.

I disapprove abstinence before marriage.

I approve being nurturing, caregiving and always sexually willing, open and engaging to him. Have I had a partner now, I’d not even decline having sex with him, when I had a fresh new leg fracture surgery 🤣

I agree that it’s better to get married after you get settled in your career, because I am not exceptionally good at cooking and while I would love to do that sometimes for him, I’d much rather pay someone else to cook for us while we work on our careers or enjoy our adventures.

As for dates, I have always been asked out by very traditional men and some even got offended when I offered them to split, I respect and like that. However, I can and will pay for dates occasionally.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I've never had a problem having male friends and have enjoyed that. Gives you a good perspective of the other side. Abstinence is a hard row to hoe. Marriage is just as difficult. But sometimes it's good to try.

Monogamy is the most rational approach to SO relationships, though I've heard people have been in love with two people at a time. Wouldn't want to be in that situation.

I think women should be as financially and career independent as men, even if they decide to take breaks to have a kid or two. This also means they don't have to ask for money, and since they contribute financially, this can enrich the couple faster, and allow for home buying, other investments, vacation, retirement planning, further adult education or college planning for children.

It might mean there'll have to be a more equitable split of home care between a couple, so the male part of the couple might have to be less traditional too. House work needs to be done, unless you want to pay someone else to do it.

AviatorTom · Answer

Abstinence or not before marriage is a personal choice. I support either choice.

Taking the man's last name in marriage is traditional, but not required.

It's good for both bride and groom to be financially stable before getting married.

I prefer independent women, those who are not dependent on their mates.

I prefer men paying for dates... unless the woman wants to pay or share the expense.

Avicenna · Answer

I think a relationship should be a marriage of equals

IslaTheWitch · Answer

For me, it's all about communication.
I don't care about most things.

I don't care about the name

abstinence till marriage is asking for troubles from my perspective but I don't care what others do :D

monogamy is a must for me

but I don't care about the gender of his friends as long as my rules of no touching and no catching feelings are respected. I have mainly friends of the opposite sex, so... :D

I can't imagine any dependency between partners, except when the person who stays at home has an account and is fairly paid by their partner. There can be some other exceptions, like one partner is studying, but I would prefer a clean agreement.

I don't care when people get married. As long as my partner can pay his bills, I don't check his wallet.

I wouldn't let a man pay for me during at least a few first dates. I wouldn't feel comfortable. But I understand others can have a different perspective.

I don't like gifts in general. I prefer to plan what to buy together than get surprises which don't match my or his taste

But... all is mostly a matter of communication. And also who he is... he can change a lot of things for me :)

libsaretards · Answer

I agree with most of these. For the last name, I am a fan of what many Spanish-speaking cultures do. That is, both the husband and wife take on both last names as a hyphenated last name.

For example, if the husband's last name is "Smith" and the wife's is "Clark", then both of their last names would be Clark-Smith. From what I understand, what determines which last name is first is simply alphabetical.

Another one is in the gym. I have met some women who can perform better than me on plenty of exercises and machines I use. Often times they have been athletic and healthy all their life whereas I have just started taking my health serious. Also, if a girl knows how to do an exercise I want to learn, I do not think there is any shame in her teaching me what to do. However, there are some people in the gym who think it is "unmanly" to not perform as well as a woman in some exercises. I often ignore them. When I find a wife, I want to be able to have both of us work out together sometimes.

Forceinhand · Answer

Those who are factual with our biology. Men are naturally more dominant and aggressive and it is unnatural for them to try and be completely feminine. Women have been scientifically proven to possess greater ability to emphatize than men, they are also known to emotionally mature faster. And so women shouldn't try to be completely masculine.

Monogamy and abstinence before marriage are given for me as a Christian.

Men should be the protector, leader and provider of the family. By leader I do not mean a tyrant however, nor an abuser or any of that. Simply the one who guides the family and in concert with his wife's input and opinion makes the big decisions.

Taking the man's last name likewise mirrors this structure and has been done since time immemorial and so I support that as well. It symbolizes a woman coming under the man's protection as well as becoming his family.

Men should take the initiative in dating. Whereas women have the responsibility if they like a man to be inviting to encourage pursuit.

Anonymous · Answer

As a female in a male dominated field I’ve come to see that if I see a ring on their finger or if I know they are taken, like have a fiancé or a girlfriend, then I will not go after them. Plus age is a big thing for me.

Thing (s) I do approve of is having the guys last name. However, I’m going to keep my last name and have my husbands; example: Johnson-Thompson. My mom did this and I think it looks really nice. Another would be work, but both have to have a job, unless one pays more and can support the other. I’d also say maintenance on vehicles. I do help with it, but I ask my dad for help. I do tend to approve of opposite sex relationships but I’ll be a little jealous. If I see the girl getting a little too close to my man then yes I will say something to him as it seems a little weird especially if she’s staying single. Don’t hate because I have tons of male friends but I’m not interested in them plus they told me they had a crush on me but are now in a relationship. Some girls need to understand but again I’m not a home wrecker and never will be.

Things I don’t approve of are definitely the housework and yard work. I mean growing up I helped with everything. From changing of the shingles on the roof, gardening, mowing, cleaning the house, and cooking and laundry. Everyone should help with that honestly it makes the most sense.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

[Whew! Good thing you added that update! Lol]

I do believe in monogamy.

I do believe in lifetime commitment.

I do believe in courtship.

I do believe in not engaging in ANY sexual behavior or activities until after the wedding.

I do believe in respecting your wife's family, and it is still polite to ask her father for permission to propose to her.

I do believe that a man should walk on the side closest to the street.

I think the woman taking the man's last name should not be required. However, I still think it's a good idea. And it's important for them to have the same last name, to prevent outsiders from flirting with them and hitting on them.

And no, I do not believe in opposite-sex friends.

I don't believe in a man paying for a woman on dates. And I don't believe in a husband providing free room and board to his wife. (She is an equal partner. She needs to earn her keep.)

I don't believe in natalism/ "Populate the Earth." (Not necessary. The world is already populated.)

I don't believe that a husband is responsible for the religious faith of his wife. Everyone should have their own personal relationship with God.

I think people should get married whenever they want to. Career has nothing to do with it.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't really have any hard and fast rules when it comes to women because everyone is different (mixed bags). So rather than post this in a negative way I'd rather look at it positively.

Positivity is a MUST for her. Life can be hard. But it's harder when you're with someone who refuses to see the light, even in dark situations.

I agree with you abstinence, marriage, monogamy. I have less of a problem with her having friends of the opposite sex. As long as she instills trust in me that's less of a problem.

As far as careers go I'm old enough now that I've seen people embark on good careers only to see fate derail it. I think it's totally understandable for people to want to wait till they're making a good salary. But I think too many young people today think you get a good job and then your money worries ate over. That's simply NOT TRUE. And I fear a lot of young people will learn this reality the HARD way.

I wouldn't marry a woman who wouldn't take my last name. It might not be personal to her but it's highly personal to me. You're not only disrespecting me but you're disrespecting my entire bloodline. It's better she marry someone else if this is how she feels.

I don't think ANYBODY (man or woman) should be fully dependent financially on their partner. For one thing in this modern world it's near impossible to make a go of it and raise a family on a solo salary. If you can, fabulous! More power to you. But again as I stated early. Jobs can be lost through no real fault of your own. Economic downturns happen. I had a buddy who made 95k a year was all set to buy a house and then lost his job in the credit crisis of "08". He was insistent he wasn't going accept less than what he made before. 3 years. Later he did accepting a job that paid him 70k. To rely on one stream of income is generally not advisable.

Anonymous · Answer

I definitely approve of monogomy.

I don't know how best to word it but, essentially I don't necessarily think abstinence is key but I do believe not having a large amount of intimate partners is important.

I think last names are things to be discussed maybe hyphante or if someone feels strongly about sharing names I'd think they should be the one to change.

I don't think waiting to be at the right time to marry is important. And I don't think oh you've been dating say 3 years time to be getting married logic is very sound.

I think you should have agreements made about what to do in the event of a divorce.

I disapprove of financial dependency on a spouse.

When you look at who spends what I think early on in dating you should split or only pay for what you order. I don't think one person should pay for both. And I do also think that gifts shouldn't be expected to cost a lot of money.

Also the rule that I've been told that an engagement ring should cost like 1 months salary. I don't think value is that important with a ring. I'd say it's about your partner liking it's look, and what if symbolises.

heyhihelloitsme123 · Answer

No abstinence until marriage

monogamy, having friends of the opposite sex as long as it is purely platonic

I also do not necessarily approve of taking the man’s last name, but I’m not against it either

get married whenever you want, before or after the good career. Your partner can and should motivate you.

i also do not agree of woman being entirely financially dependent on their husbands

Men can pay for dates, but not every single date. Women can and should pay for the date occasionally too, if not 50/50. Although I do believe that if a man asks a woman out, he should pay for that date, and vice versa.

sage2021 · Answer

Everytime I answer a question like this and write it in men's favor, somebody turns around and does this about my opinion then calls misandry (boy and men hater)🤡

Some people take an honest answer and somehow twist it around to untruths. I just think they like to show off using words they've learned on social media.
I am not going to fall for that again. Who needs that kinda stress.

I love men, I am very traditional when it comes family and how to please a man, not just sex.

My goodness, back in the way back years, the wife would get his slippers, a drink, and the newspaper for him as soon as he came home from work and sat in his easy chair.
I wouldn't go that far!

MittParekh15 · Answer

Well times change belief change

These days women have started going to office and earn

So are their expectations changed, they want men to earn more than her

They want men to give her priority, rather than men family

They don't want to enter kitchen or both partners cooking together, they want maids

They want a guy with higher status then her eg she earning 10k a month but want the guy to life in top city and take her to bigger and fancy trips

Don't know just the reality which guys are facing, in terms of meeting the other person expectations

What's your say on it?

LadyKitty · Answer

I don't care if someone wants wait until marriage or not. If you want to be monagamous or polyamorous its up to whatever floats your boat. Also I think everyone should not limit their friend group based on gender.

Last names are personal choice and can vary by culture so this doesn't matter to me.

I think love doesn't have a timeline so if you want to get married before having a good career that is up to you or if you want a good career before marriage go for it!

I think everyone should contribute in a relationship in some way whether that is financial or staying at home taking care of it. Gender has no factor here in my belief though.

I think the date and gift thing should be equal.

JacobJordan · Answer

Your view is actually very wise. With the exception being career. Careers are time consuming (not a good thing for anyone). I personally advice any women I talk to privately to find some form of online work anything that they can do to earn money without degrading themselves (only fans/porn etc) my wife does spiritual stuff and commission art paintings + hand made and decorated clothes and bags. Neither of us need the money but she likes it and people love her work. She has art exhibited in Paris, China (not sure location) and London. I spend most of time working on our properties but I occasionally do hand made furniture for people. In addition online work allows one to receive all payment as 'donations' which is exempt from taxation.

Grond21 · Answer

I approve of abstinence till marriage, monogamy, the husband is the leader of the house, the husband is the provider and protector, the wife is the nurturer, they both share responsibility for the children and the house and the money, each according to their role.

There are exceptions though. I think it's okay if the wife makes more than her husband, as long as he is still the leader and she is focused on the family first.

There are some stupid stereotypes about the 1950s era classical traditional family that were never instantiated as the norm. Depending on what those are, I generally disagree with them

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I approve of abstinence before marriage as well even though TBH, I haven't practiced it much..

I also approve of taking a man's last name because it signifies that the woman willingly gave leadership over the the man, and the two became one entity.. She puts her trust in him.

I don't approve or disapprove a woman being financially dependent on her husband I think it's up to the couple.. I do think a woman should have a backup just in case anything bad happens..

I approve of men paying for dates.. But in this day and age women make money, so they could pay as well.. Depends on who asked who..

I approve of men being the pursuers and asking for the dates as it's the natural way of things, but women could be a bit more straightforward..

puurikke · Answer

I disapprove of basically all traditional gender beliefs. All (or almost all) are nurture and not nature. I think it's healthy to be independent. So both genders should have an income. Both genders can be care givers. The smartest tech people I know are female. The most caring person I know is male. I don't believe in abstinence (also proven to be bad for mental health as well as physical health). I don't like body hair, both genders should shave (or not if they don't feel like).

Nope I like my loved ones to be equals.

Minahh · Answer

I approve:
• men being providers and spoiling their women (not saying women should take advantage of that and be gold diggers and never buy nothing for their man)
• men being gentlemen (carry heavy objects, open doors)
• women representing themselves well and therefore their partner (taking care of themselves, having style and class)

I disapprove:
• women being financially dependant on the men
• men thinking they can get away with being sexually promiscuous and cheating
• women being obligated to work around the house/cook

msc545 · Answer

I do not support abstinence before marriage because I think it is an artificial construct that if you get married will lead to a lot of conflicts and sometimes divorce. Sexual compatibility is a big deal and it's better to find out ahead of time than to find out after you are already married.

I don't really care if a woman were to take my last name or not. That is up to her and it makes absolutely no difference to me.

I think monogamy is very important and contemporaneously very difficult to achieve and maintain. I've had difficulty with it myself and I imagine others do too.

That's for the man being the provider. I am in favor of both people working and earning money and contributing to the quality of the relationship. Equally. I'm not interested in women being the providers. It breeds resentment and anger on their part.

HaveNoName · Answer

I agree with you on about everything... exept abstinence marriage 🤣🤣🤣. But abstinence till marriage, yes 100%.

I would just add too humble comments:

I would not "disapprove" per se on woman being financially dependent on the man, but I encourage them to have some kind of career or ability to be able to support themselves if the relationship goes south

Paying for the dates, i think it has to happen out of sincere mutual pleasure. I am married and never dated, but if I do go out for a dine in lunch with a female coworker (not a date), I still try my best to pay. I just dont like them paying because I am normally much older than them and in a much better career position. It feels like taking money out of my kids 😁

What traditional gender beliefs do you approve of and disapprove of?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What traditional gender beliefs do you approve of and disapprove of?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.