My boyfriend (29M) recently moved back home with his family to save money. We currently live about 2 hrs apart. He said he planned to use the time saving up, chipping away at student loans, and job hunting for a higher paying job so he could move back to the same city as me (I live in a major city where cost of living is high). I've been patient with him, driving on the weekends to see him when I can.
Recently, he mentioned he landed an interview for a 2-yr rotational program that would take him out of state. While it's an entry level position with no guarantee of full-time employment after the 2 years, it's for a giant tech company and the doors it would open are promising. The catch is that the recruiter gave him the option to defer his interview to October (for their next round of hiring) so that he has more time to prepare for the technical aspect. He accepted this option.
I just bought my first property in my hometown, which is also the city he used to live in before moving back with his family. So I am firmly cemented here with no plans to leave. Now I am feeling lost: it feels like I will have to "rough out" almost a whole year to find out if he's leaving the state. and i doubt he will move out of his family's house until he knows for sure if he got the job or not - because why move only to move again so soon after? if he does get the job, we will have to do long distance for at least 2 years, with no clarity what happens if he gets hired after the rotational program.
I feel hurt he hasn't communicated what his plan is for us amongst all of this. If this is a dealbreaker for us, I don't want to end things prematurely before I even know if he's gotten the job. But waiting until October in limbo also feels unfair to me. I am excited for him but wish he would also try to carve a path forward or communicate a plan that takes me into consideration.
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If you could afford your home and did not buy the first house you saw, you would not be afraid to locate and if you did buy the first home you saw then you have no money problems. So you’re either lying about your reasons for not being able to relocate or your lying about your boyfriend waiting a full year for a job interview, or this entire story is a fabrication.
this is bizarre
the fact he didn't talk about it
seems like someone is slowly cutting ties
Well, you need to talk to him about this.