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3 mo
My boyfriend doesn’t care about marriage. Should I stay? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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Do him a favor and leave. You want everything your way without any consideration for what he wants. You don't even want to change your last name. That alone is reason enough not to marry you. Add to that the extreme bias of laws and family courts, and women filing 80% of divorces, it is understandable he is not enthused about getting married.
Would the marriage certificate change anything for you? Because, married or not, the relationship stays the same...
If you are with him for the marriage only, this relationship won't last long anyway. But if you are with him for him, what do you need a marriage certificate for?
wow, says the woman who has been married like for ever !
@Light_beam tbh we married for tax purposes lol
none of us needed the certificate ffs
Awww that is sooo romantic !! your marriage was written on the stars :D :D
@Light_beam lmao
heey , i didn't know.. do you believe in any religion? you can answer in private messages if you don't wanna answer in public
@Light_beam I'm not a believer, you can follow me to write me
okay
Iam already following you and we talked a lot before !! amnesia
I agree with all his thoughts 100% , plus he is young , marriage means jack , plus you don't want to take his name , doesn't sound like any grey area in there , and you are annoyed , his requests are fine , so if upset about it , that much , you probably should leave.
On reading your updates , I think you CERTAINLY should leave...
This is why I don’t have a boyfriend or intend on getting married lol 😂😂
What.. so some WEAK MALE can make me look THIS STUPID? 😂 Nope.
Aren’t you paying attention to society? Men aren’t marrying anymore. If you want to get proposed to, you literally have to date a downbad Porn-Addicted Geek. A Weak Nerd. A Dork. 🤓 Those that aren’t getting any attention whatsoever.
Modern marriage in the West has become an unacceptable risk for a lot of men due to the way family courts work here. Ask him if he would be open to a covenant marriage, which basically means you do the vows and ceremony without signing any government paperwork.
He's right about the ring being bs but you seriously made a mistake being with a man that doesn't see you as a wife especially dragging it for 6 years.
If this relationship comes to an end then you literally just wasted 6 years of love and emotional investment with this dude.
If you value marriage and that is what you want, then you need to respect yourself and leave. This guy played you for a sucker for YEARS promising and promising until he got you stuck on a lease together.
This is not someone you want as a husband
Sorry called me old fashioned but I’m only 27 why do you need a bit of paper to show them you love them? When you can love them any time of the year
how does this exactly make you "old fashioned" ?
I am Glad to see pink users bringing this up too.
So why do you want to get married then if it's not for changing your last name or for the assets/money/securities? I mean what's the point here, that makes it seem that important to you?
It’s about being a family in the eyes of the law. If something would happen… let’s say to me (car crash or smth) - my brother has more rights than my boyfriend. My boyfriend wouldn’t even get information at hospital about me. Or let’s say we want to buy home together - it’s awfully difficult to get a loan for unmarried couple here. Yes these things can be solved at the notary office. But you have to think before every little detail in advance and carry around all sorts of paperwork. And it is pricey.
It’s also about being a family as an union. No one actually will stay with you forever (not parents / brother / friends etc.) and marriage gives you that hope and emotional support that you have a wife/husband for that. Yes divorces happen, but people in a relationship gives up faster than the ones who are married. At least that’s what I see around me. I do believe in pure love. And I want him to fight back when shit happens not just walk away. You may say that people still divorce and that “forever together” doesn’t exist. But marriage gives hope and that stronger bond. That’s why I find his answers so upsetting.
Well, that's beyond my expertise and I don't intend to stand in your way with that. I was never married and I hope to stay that way but not single. I'm not able to comprehend this stuff being influenced by having the government issue a marriage certificate to people for money.
But then again, if someone finds this worthwhile with getting hopes up (which I personally don't), who am I to burst that bubble? In the end actions speak louder than any words or documents.
u r only one who can decide
if u want marriage n he doesn't want it then I dont think its good idea to waste more time waiting for sth that won't happen
Should have figured that out a lot sooner. But I don't think it really matters if you two get married or not since you're already shacking up
It is not a sin to be together without marriage?
They're already sinning. Divorce is also a sin, and that's all that's going to happen if they get married. So why bother
We don't know if they will get divorced ever.. and yea they are already sinning but i think we should encourage them to stop , right?
I don't see a point, it's not like they're Christians so it doesn't matter if they sin or not.
You know they are not?
Why would I ever think they are?
Because Christians and muslims and all do sins.. if you see some one sinning you can't just presume he doesn't have a religion..
Yeah I can, it's statistically true
Well, i have seen so many religious people do sins.. including sex without marriage... they still believe in their religion.. humans sin.. that simple.. but i respect your opinion my dear
Lol thank you. And if you feel lead to see things in that light, then you just keep doing that. It's very thoughtful of you
Well, i am not sure i fully understand your comment.. but i think it is nice.. so thank you 😊
If you want to be married and he doesn't, then you get to decide if you are willing to stay with him without marrying. if you aren't, then you leave.
He is obviously only thinking about himself and not taking your feelings into account, which is a major red flag.
So you want to make your union official but won't take his name?
You do know that thats what marriage is yeah? To create a family unit whos members share the last name?
No point in getting married if you're gonna separate names.
I've been with mine for 12 years and he's never proposed and I actually saw a message he sent to one of his friends laughing saying he won't ever be getting married to me.
If you actually love him for him and not his money than yes you should stay. If all you want is his money and resources and he doesn’t want marriage, leave. You’ll be doing him a favor
That’s a tough call. And I think you’re right about wanting the ring because he loves you and not just because you said you want it.
I'm on his side, what does having an expensive party got to do with a good relationship? If you're willing to break up over it, then all the better that you do not marry.
Being married really is just a title. What changes from being married? The only thing I can think of is a false sense of security. It's very common for people who after getting married, stop trying.
Continue wasting another 4 years of your life and you'll be here asking the same question. He doesn't want what you want. Let me guess you don't have kids yet either? He's wasting your years.