My boyfriend doesn't do anything special for me, should I leave him?

[Anonymous]

I guess it is importat to say that we started dating because of him. When we met I wasn't interested in him and after he got my number he was the one who always organized meetings with me (those meetings included only being outside, just chilling, no coffee shops or restaurants or other cute thing guys do on a first date). We started dating almost 5 months ago. And in those 5 months he only got me a chocolate. Also, he is a year younger than me and I am 18.
I am not a materialist and I don't need expensive gifts from guys, but I think gifts and dates and guys paying for girls food is something like showing their affection, admiration.
Physical connection in our relationship dominates more than psychological but even though he is young he doesn't act like some teenage brat. He says compliments to me (not so often really but still) and he is gentle, respectful, there isn't a day when he doesn't text me. But I am starting to think, that his love for me is fading away. When we are together it is fun and when we have to separate it is hard for him, but when we are separate I am afraid that this relationship is going to an end even though he says he loves me. I am a bit of a colder person and not that lovey-dovey, even though I've given him a rose when there was an occasion.
I am lost, really.

[washize]

Just talk to him, Simply say something along the lines of, "you're important to me and I really love being with you. But some of my needs aren't being met in this relationship. I need romance, I need feel special and at the moment I'm not getting that from you. Can we work on this? I don't want to lose you and this is something that is important to me in a relationship. Are there any of your needs that I'm not meeting? How can we work on this?"

Just be matter-o-factly about it. Don't beat around the bush, but also say it with kindness/sincerity and DON'T be confrontational/aggressive.

[Zina99]

I'd say you can do better, but you can't expect much from a guy if he doesn't have a job or much money. It's not mean or bad to not date guys who don't have jobs and can't offer to more than just sex. Guy always complain about what is expected out of them but when the time comes around and they have a daughter the don't want their daughters to date cheap guys or guy's that can't do nice things for them. Just ask your dad how he feel about this so called boyfriend of yours.

[Anonymous]

The option is yours of course, but personally I think you should talk to him about it. I know a guy exactly like this. He'll buy food and that for his girlfriend if she wanted but behind the whole "gift thing" he would no longer do that for any girl because of it getting thrown in his face all the time and stuff like that. Your boyfriend might have a similar problem or he's just some cheap ass bitch. Either way, just talk to him love.

[DanAG]

Sounds like a keeper to me. You had mostly good to say about him. The good seemed to outweigh the negative by quite a bit. So I think in your own words you answered the question. He shows his affection in other ways. I don't think lack of gifts is a sign that he's not into you. or that his feelings are fading. That's probably just the kind of guy he is. I wouldn't read too much into that.

But the bottom line is that it's really up to you. Nobody is going to be perfect. So you just have to ask if this guy (the whole package) is somebody you want to be with.

[Ratiocinative]

People are not mind readers. You need to tell him the expectations you have of him as your boyfriend, in a fun and teasing way of course. Let him be the solution, don't tell him "you dont do this" or "you never do that".

If you share your expectations and he won't or can't meet them then you know the relationship isn't working.

[Asker]

and that is the problem, I don't know how to tell him about it without him noticing the problem and even if I knew it would look like I pushed him to do something for me.

[Ratiocinative]

Guys like to do things for women they care about, but if he thinks you're happy he's going to assume he's doing what you want. You want him to know you have a problem, just don't make him the problem and let him be the solution.

For example, say "my friend's boyfriend wrote her a letter, it was sooooo sweet. I think it woukd be really romantic if we wrote each other letters too, don't you think?". Don't say "how come you never write me letters like my friend's boyfriend? ".

[Anonymous]

this was me 8 months ago. I didn't think I needed anything from a guy but company even though he took me out and stuff he never brought me flowers or chocolate, untill recently I started telling him to buy me flowers and chocolate. pathetic I know. I think that's what threw me off. anyways, we broke up a week ago. not because of that.

[Anonymous]

You need to communicate this to him. If he can't be that kind of guy you're looking for at that point then it's best to move on as he's not what you're looking for- and that's fine.

[Opinion Owner]

Just tell him CLEARLY "I was thinking it would be nice if we could go on more date-like outings" and explain. And when you're out joke that he should buy you some little thing and tell him how much you appreciate it. If not then there's no chance of anything being different

[foxsquirrell]

What kind of gifts are you expecting? If you want him to take you out for some snack you can let him know directly or indirectly.

[martyfellow]

look at the cute and memorable side of your time together: you can't expect him to be a movie star and whisk you to Paris

Enjoy the sweetness of this while you can

[Asker]

if our relationship will be based on the memories of our first months together, then this relationship won't go far.

[martyfellow]

No, of course not. At 17 he isn't looking for anything too serious in the first place