When should a couple seek outside help?

[wolfcat87]

At what point should couples bring others in to help resolve problems? Whether that help be friends, family, marriage counselors, etc.

After they've broken up

When they are about to break up

When they can't figure things out

As big issues happen

As moderate issues happen

Never

Other

A total of 11 votes were cast: 6 girls and 5 guys. See detailed results

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm open to marriage counseling for even moderate issues I can't resolve with my wife. Fortunately I haven't experienced any yet; we've always had a way so far over 14 years of marriage of resolving all our issues.

That said, only marriage counseling. I want a professional talking to both of us on how to improve our relationship (like how to communicate even better than we already do), not family members or friends.

I think my wife would be very open to the idea too if we ever had a problem we couldn't resolve ourselves. I took took my wedding vows to the most extreme level. I will die before I ever divorce my wife: "till death do us part" was my sacred oath. I do not break my oaths under any circumstance. So I am totally open to marriage counseling if we ever reached an impasse we could not get past ourselves. It's difficult for me to imagine us since we get along so well even during the greatest hardships, but I'm open to anything if we ever found an impasse.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

* It's difficult for me to imagine us [ever needing it] since we get along so well [...]

[DJB72]

Before anything happens. Find a couple who've survived 20 years together and find out how.

[TenderFantasy]

That's a hard one. At least in my opinion. I never really believed in therapy or couples counseling 100% to be honest. Why? It's because either you WANT to make this work and you value your partner enough to, or you don't. Why make it more complicated than it has to be. What's a stranger with a license going to be able to really do? If you're ready to give up on your relationship, unfortunately, would an OUTSIDE party really be able to convince the person who wants to leave, to stay? Your partner has more influence than the professional does, plainly speaking. They know you more. Either you are COMMITTED to prolonging and being with each other, or you're not. I guess you can say that if you're partner IS willing to seek outside help (with you going to the meetings with them), then that's a great start.

Not closing the door permanently on therapy/counseling, but seriously, a lot of dudes (my ex included), don't think therapy is helpful. If he did think that, he would have sought that option before ending things with me.

[TenderFantasy]

I mean YOU have more influence than the therapist over your partner I mean.

[Jennz6]

When they can’t figure it out on their own