Fiancés female friend liked him but he says he can’t give her up due to work?

[Anonymous]

I recently went out with my fiancé and his female friend. She was quite flirty with him and gave him long looks. It was clear to me that he likes her.

I told him this and he agreed she seemed she like him. She texts and calls him a lot outside of work too.

However, my fiancé said that he can’t stop communicating with her becuase of work and work connections. So he is going to keep in contact with this woman who likes him.

I’m feeling upset by his actions. Am I wrong to want him to stop contact except work contact with her?

[abc3643]

I think in this case, you are "wrong" but I don't like using that word.

This is all about trust.
SHE is irrelevant.
HE is the one you need to trust.
Right now, because you don't like what she is doing, you are having issues but it seems your issues are yours because you are not secure enough in your own relationship so, therefore, you don't trust him implicitly. Yet, he's been completely open, honest, and clean with you about this woman.

So, my advice to you is to trust him and let him handle the situation with her. After all, if you are engaged, you SHOULD already trust him; you don't marry someone if you don't trust them - do so is immature.
So, don't push him, but do keeps tabs on the situation. In fact, you might be able to do that simply by listening to him and if he mentions her and how. Trust your instincts and your knowledge of your man about this. Observe, don't dictate.

[Asker]

So all the calls and texts to him, should I try to ignore this?

[abc3643]

Yes and no.

Let me rephrase...

Do you trust him?
If the answer is no, then you shouldn't be engaged to him.
If the answer is yes, then that's all that matters.

That doesn't mean turn a blind eye.
What it means is let him deal with it. If things get worse, then you act. What's important is he not encourage her toward infidelity in which case you shouldn't trust him and break-up.

Either that or go all Karen Hill after her...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAImYGpKO2Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdAQmuWVBs0

[SongBird3]

Does he like her back or is it one sided? You need to set firm boundaries. He needs to be able to confidently say to this girl "I have no feelings for you, its NEVER gonna happen, I am faithful to my fiancée, our conversations will strictly be work related; otherwise he will need to report it to HR"
A faithful man would have 0 problem setting and enforcing boundaries.

[laly520]

sounds like excuses from his part