I feel like there’s something wrong with me if I’ve never been able to have a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I also don’t really have any close friends. There’s been times in the past Ivey had a few but these days nobody close enough to hang out with.

I’ve gone on a significant number of dates but I mean I’m pushing the end of 34 here and the fact that I’ve never had a relationship, I feel like something must be wrong. Objectively, I’m not bad looking, fairly intelligent, I don’t get it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey man, don't be so hard on yourself. Not having a relationship or close friends by 34 doesn't automatically mean there's something "wrong" with you. A few thoughts:

- Dating and relationships take luck and timing. Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet who really clicks.

- Focus on being happy with yourself first. Jumping into something just for the sake of it rarely works out well in the long run.

- Have you talked to friends about how you come across on dates? An outside perspective can be useful feedback. Don't assume people perceive you the same way you do.

- Try joining some new social groups, activity clubs, classes etc where you'll see the same people regularly. Connecting takes time and familiarity.

- 32-35 is when many people start settling down after having more fun in their 20s. You're right in that window where folks are looking more seriously.

- And sometimes we just need to put ourselves out there and get a bit more vulnerable to let others truly get to know us. That's the risk you take for real intimacy.

So cheer up bro! As long as you keep putting in effort to connect with others, the right person will come. And if not, well, you seem like a cool dude. Your worth isn't tied to what others think.

[boobliker]

but have you put yourself out there to be picked up.