Do you want to know the history of exes of your partner?

Question

Do you want to know the love history of your partner or do you think that past is past and doesn't need to be known?

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

It’s usually a huge red flag if someone brings up their exes or if your partner keeps asking about them.

I remember there was one girl I dated years ago who for the longest time compared me positively to her ex on several occasions. Should have been a compliment but it was actually a red flag. But this was the first time I had a girl openly make a positive comparisons like that. My ego just couldn’t turn down the flattery. My gut was warning me about that at the time but I didn’t want to listen to it.

Then of course when she broke up with me compared me negatively to her ex which was just insult to injury.

Anyway the topic of exes isn’t completely in unavoidable but she be kept at minimum. But I think some people believe they preemptively avoid trouble by analyzing how things worked out with their current boyfriend/girlfriend and their exes. That’s not always a good indicator with how things will work out with what you have.

People typically improve in new relationships if they realize they made bad judgment calls in the past (or bad decisions themselves). So digging into that can make you paranoid and you might self sabotage yourself.

However there are serial cheaters out there. That is one thing I would look out for. Rest of it I will just analyze what’s right in front of me.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

The things that may directly impact me or our relationship yes but it would still be up to them to tell me. I’m a big advocate of living in the “Right Now”. And not reading too much into the past. Whatever bearing the past will have on our relationship would become evident really quickly anyway. So then it will surface and be dealt with and moved past. Knowing a piece of the past in that sense is like a snapshot in time and even if we don’t mean to we judge on it which can then impact our present.

Little_Bumblebee · Accepted Answer

Yes, I would want to know.

What went wrong? What worked for them.
Do they have struggles from past relationships etc.
All of that might very well affect the relationship I have with them.
I think it's important to talk about, also to see if you're compatible.

If your partner broke up because their ex used all their time on the phone or whatever it might be, then you have a better opportunity to work through that.
Or you might have an understanding as to why they react in a certain way if they were in an abusive relationship and you can talk with them about it and reassure them you are not their ex.
But if you know nothing and don't talk about what has happened in the past, then you might end up hurting each other without even knowing it.

catiecatie · Accepted Answer

If they had a bad experience then yes I’d like to know. It could’ve been why people take so long. Take myself for example. I had a very bad experience and maybe that’s why I haven’t dated in several years. I thought he truly liked me, but in the end he ended things over social media and what sucked is that we worked together. At least tell me that you think it’s done in person. Nope just “I need time.” Dude your time sucks as you spent 4 months with this girl you ended getting pregnant. Thank god I dodged that bullet though, but maybe that’s why these guys show interest and I’m afraid to get back out there.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Yes and no. But it’s up to him to tell me the sordid details of his past. What counts is now and future

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

No. I am not interested unless they want to share.

Avicenna · Answer

Only if it's relevant and I need to know some of it for some reason

Mr_twoface · Answer

The past is the past and we, both myself and wifey, are more concerned about the present and future. We feel from all the experience one has gone through, in the present time you will be mature enough to express your views, beliefs and wants, and if you feel something from the past may be a concern in the future, then it's up to you to bring it forward. Dwelling about past exes or one night stands, does not bring anything positive to this relationship nor does it define who you are today.

Anonymous · Answer

I would actually like to know. Beginning to End. But chances are that my lover/ partner/ husband is gonna lie, or change the story, pieces of the story, or exaggerate to look better. Its what people do. It’s Ego.

If I go to his Ex, or his many Exes for info or the true story. Chances are they’ll hold grudges or are still in love with him. So that’s also a terrible idea.

Then his own parents and siblings have an emotional attachment to him. Or might hate him. So they’ll either try to make him look good, when he’s no good at all. Or sabotage him, if he is good.

BEST TO JUST DISCOVER HIM ON YOUR OWN. AND DO ONLINE RESEARCH ON HIM. 🤷🏻‍♀️ can't REALLY ASK ANYONE 🤷🏻‍♀️

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope and I don't particularly care to, they're part of the past, leave em there where they belong.

And if there is something she feels I genuinely need to know she'll tell me. But otherwise I don't see a point in digging up the past, nothing good comes of it.

DoggyDude · Answer

You should always, over time, learn about your partners past sexual partners. Don't need specifics, just need to know if they have kids and how they left them. Shouldn't be front and center of the relationship, but needs to be part of a healthy honest relationship so neither partner is going in blind to baggage.

HawkPerception · Answer

I always want to know. How many partners they've had and what kind of relationship they had with them, how serious they were, and how much sexual experience they have. It all matters to me. I want to know what I'm dealing with. And the reason I want to know about their sex life is because I don't want to live in the shadow of another guy that was better at sex than myself. As a very imaginative and visual guy, I would never be able to get that picture out of my head.

tzdc21 · Answer

Yes I have to know. Because this is the woman who I am committing to. This is the woman who is going to represent me. This is the woman who will one day become my wife. This is the woman I am going to be sharing my life with. And this is the woman who is going to be the mother to my kids. So why all that in mind, I damn sure have to know who I am dealing with. If she has a troubled past, I don't wanna take any chances.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

It's quite natural, that we speak about our past relationships, so sooner or later, I will learn what I should know :)

tremendousfern · Answer

Other than wanting to know her body count is low, I don't want to know anything else about her exes and like others have said - if she's constantly bringing up her exes then it's a huge red flag and I wouldn't continue dating her.

mandyfire98 · Answer

Just need to see sti test and I don't care about the rest honestly.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I think it’s important to study someone you’re seriously considering as a mate. Their history explains what they’ve worked on and what they have failed at.

electromagnetic · Answer

Nope. I’d rather remain in ignorant bliss. Opening up that can of worms means I’ll have to confuse what I dig up.

Fireguy17 · Answer

not really, just a brief synopsis of what happened as to why it didn't work out. That can let you know if there is a pattern as to why they failed. I don't care which way she was pointed during sex.

MrOracle · Answer

Yes, I do. I didn't really ask but it's a big part of her life, and it had to come out anyway, so she was just straightforward about it.

Wiredone · Answer

The past is the past. I'm only interested in the present and the future.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Nah i wouldn't be bothered about the past... Wht matters is how honest n loving the person is with me

LiamJHayden · Answer

Well if one of them is a psycho who targets her new love interests I'd like to know that, but if you mean her sexual history, I only need to know that she does not have any STI's.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

That's why I'd prefer a woman who's my age can be early 20s late 20s mid 20s and I would prefer her to be as inexperienced as I am or as minimally experienced as possible, germs vomits 🤢🤮😋😋👀

Yannae · Answer

No, unless they hurt her and that past shows in the relationship. Otherwise no, they're history! I have her now!

JacobJordan · Answer

Long as the history is no one we are good. I was virgin before I met my wife I was looking for the same thing

Berethor · Answer

I guess, but I prefer for her to not have exes in the first place, virgin girls are best.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I don't need all the details, but a basic "story line" can be helpful to understand how or why she became who she is.

sheikalana · Answer

I just want to know what type of partner he is and why his previous relationships did no work.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

A brief history so to speak. It's important to see how they refer to past experiences and whether they've grown/matured or are angry/stuck up on it.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Yes if I am serious about her. Think about it, if she is a hoe, that's what's going to raise my children. If she has poor judgement, that is what will raise my children. And so on.

Sameone · Answer

I don't want to know only if she wants to share with me  I have Been whit women i was know everything about her past (she tell me)

exitseven · Answer

Yes, especially if she had a lot of guy friends that she used to date

Juxtapose · Answer

No, I don't really want to hear about them. Her actions will speak for themselves without her exes needing to be involved.

noohair · Answer

As long as the person is not stalking her, the past is past.

JayBones · Answer

There shouldn't be any history. If there is, the less there is the better.

lildkman1010 · Answer

I don’t get jealous I get turned on thinking about my girl fucking her exs

laly520 · Answer

it isn't much important

Anonymous · Answer

If you play your cards right, it can be very beneficial.

only4me · Answer

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is the future only today is what values!  (Yesterday and tomorrow as methaper for other past and Future days)

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, it is none of my business.

aceleon · Answer

if there is a history there is no ace.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

Yeah, history repeats itself

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

NO! Why? NO!!!111?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. It lets me know how he handles people.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Yes.

Unycorn · Answer

Why? It is past

Libarena · Answer

Sometimes.

jahaims · Answer

Duh.

Do you want to know the history of exes of your partner?

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