How to Cope with a Girl Who Hides Emotions (LDR)?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for grammar mistakes since I'm not native speaker of English. Firstly I want to talk about myself and ldr. I'm an introvert and shy person, and didn't have long lasted friendships before so I was alone most of times and not dated any girl. 9 months ago I talked a girl same as me. She seems more introvert than me and have no friends, and we still get along well and become couple and agreed to visit each other as soon as possible.

Her culture and religion different from me and We both respected this and have no problem. But she was always dry texter and this problem makes me mad a little bit. She always expecting me to open up topics and rarely asking questions. But when we talk on camera she is better. The problem is whenever we text she replies 3-4 sometimes 10 min late while text her immediately. She says " I have nothing to talk about so I'm thinking." It's because her culture different from mine, she is more reserved and not openly talking about emotions it also makes me sad. I ask " how is your day" she replies " nothing much same day like before, what about you?" I got mad bc she not explains detailed like me. She was always like that and saying she hiding her emotions but loving and caring me.

What should I do? My culture way more warm than her and we do not afraid talking about emotions. I know she loves me, she makes nice cards for me in Valentine and wrote nice notes for me. But sometimes I can't stand it.. I love her and not want to end.. Any idea people?

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some suggestions for coping with your girlfriend's reserved nature in the LDR:

Dude, don't get so hung up on the little details of the texts. You know her culture is just different - she was probably raised to be more private about feelings. As long as you guys vibe well on video calls, that's what really matters.

Maybe try sharing more about your day first to get the convo started. Like tell a funny story or new thing you tried. That might make her more comfortable opening up too over time.

Don't pressure her to perform emotion - she'll just clam up more. Appreciate the effort she does make like the cards. Try leaving voice messages too so she doesn't feel on the spot.

Most important is that you both feel understood when you do talk. Really listen without judging her responses. Make it a safe space so she'll open naturally over time, not because you demanded it.

Just remind yourself it's not about you - it's how she's comfortable operating. As long as she shows she cares in other ways and respects your culture too, try to meet her halfway man. Cultural differences take patience!

[StarWarGirl]

Relationship doesn't work automatically but it runs through the efforts. For any relationship to work both person needs to out efforts and should be willing to do so. Not necessarily same time but could be like sometimes you do little bit more sometimes other person.

My relationship started in 2022 January. It was LDR. And still it's LDR only. And we both are introvert, of different levels.

I'm more into expressing out my emotions speaking it out and he is more into making jokes telling stories. When I do get upset I prefer to speak it out and when he gets upset and bad mood he switch off his phone, remain unavailable even for me whole day and prefer to stay alone and I respect it. But same time I always make him remember that I'm here he can talk to me instead of staying alone like this still it's upto his choice to decide how he want to be. I respect his choice.

When we started our relationship I was most calmer one not speaking much and he used to tell me his stories about his childhood teenage etc. And I used to listen, comments and ask questions. Now he is more calmer and I talk more finding this and that topic. And there are times when we both don't have topic that time we enjoy the silence watching each other over video call. We always prefer to talk over video call and that's how we feel connected. And it was his idea first and I have realised that, video call was better for us.

You say she is more open more comfortably talking when she is over video call. So you can choose that medium to talk. And try to see how can it works for you both and where your this relationship goes.

[StarWarGirl]

Yes one trick works very well. Over video call if you give pause do not speak and keep watching like you are waiting for her to speak, this pause makes other person feel a little bit nervous silence feels ackward and it forces other person to talk or open any topic. This trick isn't going to work over texting.

[StarWarGirl]

Keep watching her with silence with smile. That's it. It's enough.

[ProbablyClueless]

All you can do is give her the space she needs to get comfortable with opening up. You'll never get anywhere with women by pushing anything.

[Anonymous]

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