When I asked other men how to get a girlfriend (they had girlfriends, I barely had one) I got these "advices".
(1) the 3 date sex rule
This guy put emphasis on inviting the girl over to my home to see and pet my hamster (I mentioned I don't have a hamster) and when she comes inside my home and there's no hamster, I'll just have to tell her "oh, it ran away" and entertain her in other ways.
His girlfriend was right next to him as he told me this. They are still together ⚠
(2) women love being lied to
This guy told me that women "want" to be lied to. What this means is that I'm supposed to boast and peacock to women and make big promises without being able to deliver or hold on to my word. The idea here is to "give her the world" but not today or tomorrow and she'll keep tagging along for however long she decides to. Apparently this yielded guys very many relationships and sex sessions.
(3) buying the girls
I have witnessed this happening while I was in high school how 25 year old men pulled up with their vehicle (motorcycle or automobile) near the school and went after the 16 year old girls and wooed them and gave them things, that no high school student could give them (flowers, chocolate, red wine, gifts) and a mix of number 2 above.
Adult women fall under this trick too when they decide, that "real men/boyfriends" pay for date 1.
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How can women raise their standards and stop putting up with BS from men like this?
These are some of the ways they do it. Knowledge is power. Now detect their BS and fight it. Or don't.
Hard question, I don´t think there´s a formula for everything. I think what some women need to lose a naitivity because some women seem like they are easy to trust a guy completely. Another aspect is that women often seem to prefer avoiding a confrontation so they take what the guy has to offer though they actually look for something else. Like going for a guy that looks great but everyone knows he sleeps around, seriously if you don´t want to be cheated on don´t date such a guy.
Another aspect is don´t take a guy by his words, take him by actions. Action speak louder than words, a guy promises a woman a lot to get her but if he doesn´t do there´s often no consequence. A guy tells through his action a lot more about his character than through his words.
Subconsciously I seek out those who shares the same…I want to be able to connect with someone who has similar education level, financial goals, life’s purposes.
I meet their friends, families. I watch how they treat others and how they treat themselves.
in order to do that… one has to know/love themselves first.
love who they are inside/know what they what in life.
my group friends since childhood has been similar…we kinda grew up together and we are all very family oriented, education oriented and are very successful very kind.
I know one twin sister who became a lawyer, smart, made good money…but she wasn’t happy till she return to work on her passion in art…she started to paint those who collect cans/bottles in the street. She is using her art to build a community support for these elderly collectors…. at the same time, she found her love.
To me that’s the love that are selflessness, with her goal, purpose in life, she also met her love.
they put up bs (men, life) because they are lost.
I stopped dealing with men and my life got better - it's not worth it to deal with most of them as they are toxic amd chaotic. I'm sorry, finding someone who is balanced nowadays without the extra is very hard.
Ah, the eternal quest to dodge the love bombs and sidestep the ghosting games. Raising the bar sounds like a gym goal, but trust me, it's way sexier in the dating realm. First off, know thy worth. If he's treating you like last season's iPhone, girl, it's time to swipe left on him for good. Start by setting clear boundaries that scream "I value myself more than your midnight 'U up?' texts." Communication is your best lingerie here—wear it with confidence.
Don't just walk; catwalk away from red flags. If he's auditioning for the role of Casanova in your life story, show him the exit sign. And remember, actions are louder than those late-night sweet nothings. If his behavior says "I'm just not that into respecting you," believe him the first time.
Lastly, cultivate your fabulousness. A woman who loves herself, sets goals, and chases dreams is like a magnet for good vibes and respectful partners. So, strut into that self-love like you own it! Because, darling, you do.
Falling in love with yourself is the first step to raising the bar. Now, who’s ready to share their glow-up story or needs a little pep talk to ditch the BS? Let’s chat! 😘
Opinion
20Opinion
Date the way we most commonly do here in Japan. Find a group of good, like-minded friends who share the same values. Hang out with them a lot and invite any new like-minded people into that community.
Then date within the community among friends. This way you only date people you already know really well as friends whose character your mutual friends can vouch towards.
That avoids a lot of the problems I see for both men and women ending up in bad relationships with the wrong people.
Are you suggesting there might be effective ways to change a grown man's mind and thinking when he's been indoctrinated by the patriarchy to think and behave like that for his entire life? I don't think there ARE any ways to change a man like that once he's in his late 20's or 30's.
Isn't the bar already SET higher? A woman makes her best guess when she chooses her guy and expects he's up to her qualifications and she made the right choice. Presumably, she doesn't foresee any abuse, control, condescension, degrading, belittling, etc. If that starts, I don't think you can change the man at that point, you just have to cut your losses.
We gotta teach people how to look at actions more over words. Actions are what really matters. If they are saying a bunch of flowery words but they aren’t matching his actions then you may wanna walk away.
There's nothing I'd like better than to help women with this. But you can't help somebody with something they're fundamentally opposed to.
Don't worry about this. Most women eventually figure this out. Some just take longer than others.
To the woman who has the problem, the guy who is cheating on her, you two must sit down at the table & talk face to face to each other about what each person wants & needs then do that & whatever each person wants & then keep talking & you need to do whatever each person's problem is.
u they should probably do the same as the other women who are not putting up, nor dealing with this kind of BS from men... because they're experiencing and having the complete opposite experience with actual men
Stop settling. It’s so simple. Recognize your worth. We’ve all been stupid for a man. Some longer than others…
Not really sure, your own personal judgement either grows or it don't there's not really a cheat code to get past that. And if there way such issues would be solved.
I'd say just keep doing what you've been doing; maybe refine your techniques and philosophies, but I think you're definitely on the right track so far.
Women need to be more picky, and they need to understand most men are cheaters or at least thinking about it. Most men that flirt with me at work I know are married. It must be the way they are wired.
Its as simple as just not being easily deceived. Giving things time, and not rushing into things because you feel lonely
I think it boils down to confidence. In both themselves and their abilities to choose who to trust!
be more selective don’t waste months and years on people that would be considered losers.
m by being realistic
it doesn't have to be mind blowing or super complicated preferences
if one know what they need from person
You can't raise your bars when you're doing your role towards your man and he's doing his for you
Raise your bars when he turns bad with you, humiliate you or assault you out of the blue!
Define standards. If your talking about emotional and maturity standards I can agree but if you talking about physical standards than that might be the reason they are getting cheated on.😂
Easy.
Just do it! Recognize the red flags and listen to their friends and family when they point out those red flags.
Use what you would do in reverse if a guy had ask this same question.
Us men need to raise our standards and stop putting up with bullshit from women.
Raise the bar.. or increase your filter? Their is a difference.
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