I am not talking about all men, but it piss me off to see some of them claiming how women’s standards are unachievable, while in real life, we rarely see a good looking guy dating an average looking woman, and the average looking guys who complain about women standards, are actually talking about the gorgeous women who are a way out of their league. Cause let’s be honest but the only kind of guys who usually flirt with average looking women are usually below average. Why aren’t these ugly guys trying to flirt with ugly girls, instead of trying to make a pretty girl feeling bad for not falling for them?
Why do men complain about women having standards?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Right so when women have 5 kids and then say that they are now ready to settle down but the guy shouldn't worry because he she doesn't need a father for her children and then starts laying into men saying that if they dont want to take on a woman with 5 kids and have all the draw backs of children but have zero say in whats going on that he isn't a real man, that is an example of your automatic assumption that this is a man only problem and women unsurprisingly get a free pass, right?
I would bet large amounts of money that i could find more examples of what I am talking about than you can find examples of what you are talking about.
So here is whats really going on.
You are are a brain dead feminazi who wants to make gender neutal issues gender specific and then rage about something that really isn't a problem for the vast majority of people in the real world.
It is also likely that you are talking about is based on your personal experience of a couple of guys you didn't fancy asking you out.
So Im going to go ahead and call bullshit on this whole thread.
Well first of all, there is no such thing as a league or being average looking. Someone either finds you attractive or they don't, and what people find attractive changes over time and is influenced heavily by what others think.
To answer your question though, it's because people are stupid.
People are selfish and constantly hold double standards at their own convenience. We all want to date someone we find attractive. This is especially true in youth, I believe, but men worry mostly about appearance and little else, at first anyway. When they discover the woman has a mind of her own and has expectations, which are often reasonable, they get mad and leave. Women want someone attractive as well, but they have much higher expectations, sometimes ridiculous ones, and when the men fall short, it's somehow the man's fault. It goes both ways. This is where love comes in. You find middle ground because you are special to each other.
I remember in college we studied attraction in humans.
What the results were: men always went for more attractive women than themselves and women went for someone at the same attraction level to them.
I think the reason why men do this is either:
Men think they look or feel better than they are. Men might be trained due to media that looking bad is not a big thing, I always see ugly dudes on TV with a really pretty woman.
Personally I would only date someone whom I found attractive and not settle. I would also not date a guy who settled for me. I do believe beauty is eye in the beholder but in this argument I uses beauty in terms of health and youth and fertility. :-)
I was about to comment that not all men are like that... then I saw your description.
I wholeheartedly agree. I do not know what goes on in some of their minds when plenty of women say that they want an attractive nice man with a good personality. I've been told that I'm too picky for wanting this. So I shouldn't go after a guy who I want to have sex with and will be happy with in a relationship? It seems like the insecure ones usually negate me. (Not to mention that I'm sure guys want the same).
Firstly.. Not ALL MEN complain about this at all. Not ALL WOMEN have unrealistic expectations either.
It is a fact that MANY WOMEN, even average ones, have unrealistic expectations. Honestly, it doesn't bother me at all. I wouldn't want such a woman. And it doesn't affect me? She is the one who will either be incel, single or turn into a crazy cat woman 🤷♂️ I don't see how that affects me in the slightest...
You know who I think takes issue to the unrealistic standards of women the most? Ahem.. single women.. that's who. Keep comparing each man to the last and paint him with the faults of the previous... Keep expecting perfection when you yourself aren't..
I'm not saying you do.. but many women do. I care not.
Well no that is not true at all ~ but even if it were. It doesn’t tell you anything negative about a person bc they have cats. Caring for animals is movie not pathetic.
The only standards guys complain about are the unrealistic ones like when women only want a guy who is 6'2" which is six inches above average height, but also want a guy who has a high paying career but also travels the world (contradictory, if your highly paid, your not traveling around and spending time with your wife/girlfriend, your working, if you have time to spend with your girlfriend and time to travel, your not working its very simple these are contradictory. Either one is fine but demanding it be in the same guy, who also is above average in height as well as above average in looks who is confident and knows how to get women to sleep with him but also only wants one woman blah blah blah blah. That's like a guy saying he wants a woman with breasts that are H cups, who is on a scale of 1 to 10 an 11, who is a complete slut except also a virgin, who is feminine but a complete nerd as well blah blah blah blah. No one cares that you have standards, people get annoyed when women have absurd standards (and make no mistake, they do as every study shows) because clearly your not going to find that guy and you belittle (as you have done) any one who doesn't meet these insane requirements but then when you can't find the perfect man because he obviously (to every one but the woman in question) doesn't exist you turn around and bitch how their are no good men left in this world and men are assholes and blah blah blah blah. That's what pisses people off about it, the absuard standards combined with the bitching and whining and blaming every one else for why your alone.
There's a mismatch in the brains of men and women today that isn't really anyone's specific fault but I honestly do think that in this case, men have the disadvantage. Men are usually programmed biologically to be attracted to women easily. You get women asking why guys fall for them when they're just being nice according to the norms of society. You never get guys asking why women keep falling for them that way (and if you did, we would all assume he's a liar - even other men would make this assumption). What do people need in a relationship? Things that they feel would bring them the things they want in life - stability, security, family, etc. You can be a woman with a nice attitude, a few skills and the ability to start a family and guys will be all over you left and right. You can be a man and have a good attitude, skills, be family oriented, etc. First, to be clear, such a guy would be able to find a woman. But he's going to run into more situations where "You're so nice and you will find a girlfriend soon but I'm sorry there is just no spark" than ANY woman is EVER going to hear.
here's a little truth... Women highest value is that of a reproduction partner. Men want to leave legacy ( A Son) Mens value is that of protector / provider. Now we can argue modern culture but thats the realty of mankind for most of its existances and it shaped us to the core. so Why do men go after hotter chicks, because men aren't judged on hotness. Why do men complain about women standards? Because theyre a newer develpment that is opposed to their professed positions and exposes their hypocracy. Love me if Im fat, hairy, pimpled face, wear no make up, wear sweat pants all day but you better be over 6 ft and well built. Have enough money to pay for most dates. And unless you own your own home and drive a decent car please do not pass go. Sure there are the hot yoga instructor guy but we know what you dont... your just likely a blip on his radar because there's a ton of hot young dumb little things that want a go at the " unicorn Male" LOL hell get tired and move on and eventually these promiscous women hit the wall in their 30's and go on wholesale
Women need to actually be raising their standards even higher. They are putting up with way too much bullshit behavior from guys. Men will respect you more when you put your foot down and enforce solid boundaries and raise him to a high esteem.
I think it from dating sites they get that info, like in any market things with a to high price remain unsold, so they stay around will women with reasonable demand get picked up and leaves the market. Which kind of give a bad overview. In real life I haven't found this to be true, sure there is a bunch of entitled women out there who will remain single because they set the wrong price on a relationship. And that is fine if your happy single but if you want a family you need to revaluate your situation. Your not shown your worth before you actually gone on those first dates. So being picky early is the same as trying sell a mystery box. And we all know what crap those usually contain.
Ok no guys wants an ugly women, we don’t want the 140-300 pound girl there are cool to hang out with but we as guys would never go out with them, unless there 300-400 pounds them selves in which case there just happy they got laid.
I don’t ever expect to get a 9 or a 10 does make me stop wanting a 9-10 slim body Tight waist of course any guy wants that so why should we flirt maybe she like use maybe she doesn’t fuck it we can at least try.
And trust me most good looking women don’t like anime politics or history and they don’t no shit about sports men have standards too.
@doyouwannadoit I’ve tried that no way in hell I know when I see a pretty girl and a ugly 35 meth out birth her daughter is to but at least I know she ain’t got stds
Every other day there is at least one chick on GAG why there aren't any guys approaching her. Of course in the first phrase you see that she is actually is approached but not by the guys she thinks she deserves because she is supposedly able to judge their character within one minute of seeing them. I don't know, if they are approached by only those guys maybe, just maybe it's because it's the only ones they deserve no matter how much the media tells them they deserve some totally devoted six packed CEO with some sexy accent looking for commitment. Sorry babe but what you think are the "gorgeous women" are sixes and sevens with personalities that are not even close to that.
So, there is a lot of subjectivity here. Women are often stereotyped to have high standards, but based on the animal kingdom, you have the "right" to be picky. You have to bear fruit whilst a male plants seeds. Now for the whole average man women, whatever thing... Everyone's view or perspective of average is going to change based on how they see things, where they live and simply what they like/dislike. You might think he's ugly, and she is average or above. He probably thinks he's average and that she is average or even ugly. Also, looks aren't honestly enough to go about when determining standards. You make a point, but just with a tunneled perspective of life.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Lmao! lots of women got crazy ass standards bih. Looks (in which many are very picky) height, muscles, hairless, beards, stylish) not too aloof or clingy cool but goofy sensitive, but manly carefree but also determined confident, but not too douchy financially strong, but not consumed by work organized, but not ocd sociable, but not too much. attentive with good stroke game strong but gentle.
Even moderately good looking gentlemen get swatted down by average lookin chicks for something else on that list.
comparatively womens' requirements to get a man not fat/ugly not a bitch bonus points for anything else
I find it off-putting when people impose standards on others that they themselves don't live up to. It's like if an ugly guy/girl demands that potential suitors have supermodel good looks. Or when broke bitches expect a man to make a 7 figure income or else he's a "loser".
But generally speaking, I see no issue with healthy, realistic standards. "I won't let a man disrespect me or treat me badly" is a good, reasonable standard. "I will only date men who do everything I command" is an unhealthy standard, and I would want nothing to do with such a woman.
The only time a guy complains about a woman’s standards being unattainable is when he is too lazy to try and lacks confidence. That’s why standards exist. And what guy in their right mind would date a girl without standards... a guy that just wants to have sex with no commitment.
the type of guys who complain are usually the ones with conflated values. they expect the world while giving nothing. so you're right when it pisses you off. ah I guess the ugly guys don't see themselves as ugly, I dont think guys should complain about standards, and I think any respectable man would have his own anyway.
Men complain about women's standards because women complain about men's standards. Guys are shamed for having any sort of standard and are told they're objectifying women if they have a standard for attractiveness. Men aren't actually pissed that the standard is too high but because there is a DOUBLE standard and they aren't allowed to have one.
Mens standards: Be pretty, stay in shape, STFU every now and then, make good sandwiches, don't be a slwore.
Womens standards: Six sixes. 1 Must be at least six feet tall 2 Must have a 6 pack 3 Must make at least 6 figures ($100,000 per year or more) 4 Must have at least 6 years of college (Possessing a Master's degree or higher) 5 At least 6 inches of dick 6 At least six months since his last relationship
Now you mull through those and try to suss out the differences in desires.
@bamesjond0069 Basically... Women in their prime can name their price these days. On the bright side you're approaching your prime... the 22 year olds that ignored 22 year old you are now interested in 32 year old you. And those now 32 year old women are writing articles for Bolde asking where'd all the good men go? https://www.bolde.com/author/amy-horton/ "Single AF" lol!
Saftey standards are fine, they are there to protect them and that's completely okay.
What guys are annoyed about is preferences that people won't compromise on.
You could fill 75% of what they want but if you don't fit exactly they won't even give you a chance. That's also completely ignoring the fact that the guy also has preferences and saftey standards himself.
Height, you can't change your height, so many women have this standard that men are starting to feel their value as a man is directly tied to their height.
Income, yes wanting a partner with stable financial life is normal. But you should love the man not the money. Money can be gotten elsewhere.
I don’t really care if a girl has standards. What irritates me is when a girl verbally tells me what “she thinks” I should look like or compare me to someone she finds more attractive. Nobody cares about you having standards. We just don’t want you belittling us. It’s the same thing with girls complaining about guys who care about weight
Same reason why women complain about men having standards that they have to start their fat acceptance movement because of how shallow guys are for preferring skinny women, making feminism propaganda because of how "oppressed" they are and shame skinny women for having "privilege" because it's "impossible" to be fit when being fit is really the only thing they have to do to be considered attractive. They don't even have to look like super models but just look like they're taking good care of themselves not someone who have to be rich, tall (Which is genetic), muscular, have a full head of hair, willing to risk his life to protect the family and etc.
Ya I dont know how I feel as Bout the question overall. It seems very over generalized. I dont think there are and hard rules with attraction and by the time we are adults we are pretty hard wired to weed hat we like. Beauty is a lot about perspective each person will have as different opinion. So you can't really say who should flirt with who. And I dont hear guys talking about girls standards are too high etc. This seems to be ac very specific situation your describing.
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