I think my boyfriend is in denial about me wanting to have kids when in reality I don't?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend since I was 16 and he was 17. Now, I'm 22 and he's 23. So we've been together for 6 years and yes, he's the person I want to marry and settle down with. But where we differ is wanting children of our own. He's sure he wants to start a family with me, but I'm pretty split and unsure about it. I've told him this multiple times, but it seems like he just lives in denial about it and has convinced himself that one day, I'll change my mind. He seriously sends me cryptic posts related to why having a baby is the best decision ever, thinking it'll move me and I'll consent to having kids. I've even asked him directly, what if I don't want kids? He responded with, "You want kids!!! Don't be stupid". This response kinda irked me. I love him very much, but I'm scared that he'll purposefully impregnate me in the future and try to pressure me into having more than 1 kid, which I'm not ready for. I don't know what to do.

[ohsheeT]

Well you have to make sure you make it a point to let him know so he can understand that you don't want children and you don't have to say forever you can just say right now today this moment..

I think you're very smart for a couple different reasons right now the world is changing so fast and going so many different directions we don't know where we're headed we don't know where our government's taking us we don't know where China's headed Russians are headed...

And if you cannot protect your children at all times you shouldn't have them because if something happens to this world you're going to have to think fast move fast be on top of everything and when you have children it's going to be hard to do..

The other thing is he might want you to have children because he thinks that way he can keep a hold of you forever and it just doesn't work that way you need to tell him whatever you need to tell him so he believes that you truly love him and you don't use kids as a pawn to keep that love you either believe it and make it work or you don't.

[RavVid]

You don't say what contraceptive you are using. It it is condoms you can fairly easily double up on your side. Oral contraceptive is easy but there is good evidence it affects female's partner choice and might disrupt the choice you have made. Plus it is questionable to deliberately manipulate female hormonal cycles.

You could use a diaphragm for extra assurity.

I think you should never say never at 22 yo. In five years your views might be different.

In any case, at your ages you need to be working on setting up your lives - whether that includes children or not. Once you have a child all your money will go on the child. You could put to him that you both have a lot of set up to do.

[EmmaMary]

Just how is he going to purposefully impregnate you?

Surely you would be taking your own precautions.

And truthfully just what is you've got against conceiving and giving birth?

[Asker]

It's not that I hate kids, but I'm just not sure I'll do the job up to the mark. I mean, I've always imagined living a child free life without stresses, but to each their own.

[EmmaMary]

Well it would seem apparent that you either sit down and thrash this out once and for all... Or very sadly contemplate taking the parting of the ways... Wishing you good luck.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic tale of miscommunication and differing life goals – nothing spices up a relationship like a dash of reality checks. Here's the deal: it's essential to make your stance crystal clear because, in the world of love and relationships, assuming your partner will change their mind is like buying a lottery ticket and planning your retirement around the winnings. It's risky and, let's face it, a bit of a dream world scenario.

Communication is key, darling. Sit down with him, away from distractions, and lay it all out. Be as clear as a sunny day in California. Let him know that this isn't about winning or losing but about understanding and respecting each other's wishes and life goals. Lovebombing you with baby posts? Cute attempt, but no cigar. It might be time to ask him the hard question: "Can you truly see a future with me, even if that picture doesn't include children?" His response to this might just be your answer.

Remember, compromising on what to have for dinner is one thing, but compromising on life-altering decisions like having children? That's a whole different ball game. If your views don't align, it might be time to reassess your future together.

It's never easy, but staying true to yourself and your desires for the future is paramount. Now, let's hear it! Anyone else been in a similar situation? Don't be shy; sharing is caring! 😉

[sawno]

Pregnancy is also under your controll, if you no longer trust him with condoms because of this start taking the pill as an extra safety measure. You can always tell him that while your unsure about kids you don't want them this young so he knows he will have to wait multiple years at minimum if you do decide to have them.

[Berethor]

Why he in denial? you already basically said that if he impregnate you only once you okay with that, having 1 kid, anyway an serious relationship don't have future without kids.

[Asker]

I never said that I'm okay with having one kid. What I meant that I'm scared that if I get pregnant once and it won't be in my control, he'll want more! And I'm wary of it.

[Berethor]

After the first time get easier, no need to worry, you asked him how many he want?

[Whitey_Johnson]

If he wants children and you do not, it's best to part ways now. You're at the prime age for having children. He probably senses that and wants to make a life with you, but that's not in the cards if you don't want children.

[JacobJordan]

He wants kids you shouldn't destroy his life because you don't. He will hate you either way might as well stop wasting his time or decide to have kids

[Unit1]

Stand your ground lady! If you don't want kids, then you don't want kids.

Let him go find someone, that wants kids and you go find a new boyfriend, that also doesn't want kids. We do exist.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Kids? Yes/no. That's a pretty irreconcilable difference. Where could you possibly see this going?

[slatyb]

Hey an IUD and do writing about pregnancy. But it sounds like he needs to be with someone else. Don't let him pressure you into having children.

[JayBones]

If you have a soul you'll leave him. No kids is worse than murdering him.

[KrakenAttackin]

Without children there is no point in marriage.

[Sevenpointfive]

why haven't you dumped him yet?

[Asker]

Because I've been with him for a long time. And i love him a lot. I'm just hoping he understands my perspective on children and stops trying to indirectly force me like this.

[Sevenpointfive]

yeah. this usually leads to rape and getting pregnant. i wish you luck

[HelpfulWoman]

ew ew ewwwwwwwwwwwww run from that red flag

[Anonymous]

Sounds like its break up time

[LazerBean]

L relationship

[jahaims]

Have fun breaking up