What to do with boyfriend's rude female friend?

[bdeakol]

boyfriend used to have a crush on and made out with his female friend when they were 18 Once. A week after this, this said female friend started dating his best friend and they've been together since.

Ever since his female friend met me she's been rude to me. Acting uninterested when I talk to her, constantly trying to talk to my boyfriend and get his attention, organizing parties around the same time a party of mine is coming up, excluding me in hangouts, etc... I've spoken to my boyfriend about this and he completely understands and has minimized his interactions with her.

However, she is still his best friend's girlfriend and she lives with her boyfriend and I feel very uncomfortable whenever my boyfriend goes to visit his friend and she's there because I don't know what she does when I'm not around. From my understanding whenever my boyfriend would go there, him and her talk more than my boyfriend would talk to his best friend.

Right now she is having a party at her place next week and my boyfriend asked if I wanted to go or not. I personally don't want to go because, I believe that it's time to put a big boundary and my boyfriend needs to stop going to her parties or visit his best friend when she's home.

Do you guys think I'm being completely ridiculous? If yes, what would you do?

Updates

1 mo

I just want to add that boyfriend's friend group speaks another language that I don't understand. So even if I go to the party, they will start speaking their native language and I will sit there not understanding a word the whole time. boyfriend translates but at some point he will switch to his native language as well.

[DoggyDude]

I think you need to not police your boyfriend like this. Expressing your concern to him is good, and letting him know how you feel is also good. I recommend going with your boyfriend to her party, because, even if your boyfriend is the loyalest, if he goes to enough partys your invited to and don't come he could start to develop outside interests.

Mostly speaking, you need to bascially be the kind of girlfriend he wouldn't wish to be without; Just rise above any of her petty behaviour, laugh it off and just generally don't let her get under your skin. If she does bug you, just be more all over your boyfriend and show dominance in that manor.

I don't think your being rediculas but I do think you play with fire either by not going with your boyfriend to said parties or trying to police or ban your boyfriend from anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Best of luck

[bdeakol]

The main reason that I don't want to go (other than her) is that the group of friends will start speaking in their native language (not English) and I will just sit there not understanding what's going on the whole time...

[DoggyDude]

Okay, I've been there; If you have the energy to learn a language, go and quietly learn to speak their language then listen to what their saying (when they think you don't know) and have fun one day surprising the hell out of them by answering them in their language.

Dating cross culture is difficult, my ex spoke 3 languages, 2 of them as a native speaker. It was often uncomortable to keep having to get her to translate what her parents and other speaker where saying (not that she didn't translate, just having to continuously do it feel bad). So i can slightly sympathise from personal experience. Still, going and putting up with being left out lingually is better than potentially not supporting your partner (though really he should be making his friends speak English for your sake, so maybe do take that up with him; After all if he answers them in English no matter what eventually they should take a hint).

Best of luck.

[NewgodOmega]

Nothing
You are just looking at yourself in a different person

[dustybiker2]

Adapt or lose your boyfriend. He's not going to want someone who is freaking out about two of his friends. If you trust him you have nothing to worry about. Maybe put effort in to try to get to know her better? Doesn't sound like she is going anywhere. Making the situation less awkward is probably best.

[Dinklex3]

He could be saying negative things about you to her behind your back. Not saying it’s definitely true, but the only time I’ve been rude and didn’t like a friend’s significant other is when my male friends would tell me the horrible things their gfs did to them.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, love, you've stumbled into a classic love triangle, sprinkled with a dash of past flings and current tingles! The spice of your story is the kind that keeps us gossiping over lattes. The behavior of your boyfriend's female friend? Absolutely a red flag waving in the romance wind. 🚩

Your feelings aren't just valid; they're the VIP guests at the party of "What to Do Next." Your boyfriend, bless him, seems to be trying by limiting interaction, but it's clear this situation needs more seasoning. It’s time for a heart-to-heart with your main squeeze. Express how uncomfortable this brewing pot of awkwardness makes you feel.

As for the party RSVP? It's a hard no, darling. Ain't nobody got time for bad vibes and underhanded tactics. Encourage your boyfriend to understand why attending feels like feeding into the drama.

But here’s a twist—suggest alternative hangouts. Why not host a small get-together your way? An environment where love, laughter, and good company set the tone could be the fresh start you all need.

Remember, your relationship is a duo dance, not a crowd hop. Keep the steps between you two clear, and the dance will be beautiful. 💃🕺

[sheikalana]

Well, the story seems messed up from the beginning. Tell your partner how you feel and avoid being around that woman.

[zagor]

You shouldn't try to keep him from visiting his best friend, but you don't need to attend social functions in double-date kinds of situations.

[Anonymous]

slip a powerful laxative into her drink

[laly520]

red flag