I've found myself getting secretly but strongly jealous over tiny things. how do I overcome this jealousy?

[Anonymous]

I've found myself getting very jealous about small things, like small interactions my girlfriend has with other boys, and the fact that she reads smut (this drove me crazy but I never said anything to anyone). How do I overcome this jealousy? It's irrational and it really annoys me.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to find out why exactly you’re getting jealous. You said you don’t have the fear that she might leave you and that you trust her completely, but are you sure? Do you feel like you’re not good enough for her? What’s the worst scenario that comes to mind when you do get jealous tho? When you feel jealous, do you feel the negativity more towards your girl or is more towards the other boys/the smut stories?

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer. I don't picture a scenario when I'm jealous, I just get frustrated/annoyed, and the negativity is more towards the other boys and smut stories than it is towards her.

[Plugs]

How does smut make u jealous

[sakurayuki0629]

Don't overthink something.. if he's good for you and right for you he will actually always be with you, if you confront him and complaining oh.. it's a drama for guys, they dont need that kind of person.. you just have to "dont care" about everything.. really..

[Asker]

I'm a guy and she's a girl if that helps :)

[sakurayuki0629]

Oh hahaha right, I'm sorry 😂 my bad
I'd say It's very obvious to feel jealous and insecure if your girlfriend have lot of guy friends and you can't do anything about it.. Just let your girlfriend know in a smoother way that you are uncomfortable with and hope she understands..
And having guy friends is not a big problem if she is spending lot of time with you and shows how much she loves you in actions.. But if you feel you are getting ignored or love dosen't seem to be real.. Then express it to your girlfriend again in soft way.. don't overthink.. if she's loyal or not you will know

[Plugs]

How does smut make u jealous

[mattthefatbat]

I felt this way as well when I first started dating but what helped me stop feeling so jealous was to openly communicate my feelings to her and she also is open to me about how she felt and that helped us both have a better relationship with eachother and build more trust

[Billlewis]

As a longtime victim of this phenomenon, I can tell you unequivocally, that when properly managed, monitored, and ultimately channeled efficiently, jealousy one most powerful, awe inspiring forces on earth. You just have to handle it judiciaiously. ❤️

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the green-eyed monster has got you in its grips, hasn't it? Jealousy, that sneaky emotion, can tiptoe into our lives without a loud knock. But don't worry, it's just proof you've got a big heart that cares deeply. The first step to taming this beast is acknowledging it, just like you've done—kudos to you! Now, it's all about building trust and understanding that these tiny interactions don't mean your relationship is in jeopardy. Communicating your feelings openly with your girlfriend might also shed some light on perspectives you hadn't considered. Remember, love isn't about holding tighter but giving freedom and earning trust. And while we're at it, why not spice up your own reading list? Perhaps exploring your interests together could lead to an exciting chapter in your relationship. Keep steering through these waves with love and trust as your compass; you're on the right track! 😉

[laly520]

u r still young n will figure it out growing up

reading smuts is fine n if she has normal friendly interactions with boys then its also fine

focus on trusting her more than getting jealous n overthinking

[Asker]

I trust her fully. I never suspect anything going on. My jealousy is irrational, and I can't control it.

[laly520]

it gets better with time dw

[aceleon]

for boys it is not small at all.
for smut you are overreacting.

[Asker]

I think it's the other way around actually. As I said, they're *small* interactions, which gives me no right to be jealous.

[aceleon]

how small, i would call even a hand shake a reason to be jealous better safe than sorry.
what's wrong with smut?

[April_cherry]

You said that your jealousy is irrational : what kind of behavior do you have towards your girlfriend?

[Asker]

I never act on my jealousy, and I don't intend to ever do. I don't want my irrational feeling to affect our relationship.

[April_cherry]

So I think this is fine. Jealousy is an emotion. You cannot control how you feel. By what you answered, it seems like you do not have a controlling behavior (checking phone, controlling your girlfriend interactions with guys) or getting angry and making a scene to her, as you said you don't want to affect your relationship. So for me it is perfectly fine to feel jealous, because you care for her and you afraid that you might lose her. The only thing that you can do, is to communicate your doubts and how you feel to your girlfriend. So she is more aware and if she cares for you, she will be more careful about her interactions with guys when you are here, or at least reassure you. Regarding the fact she is reading smuts, you need to understand : 1) why this is driving you crazy, 2) why does she reads smut : is this because there is sthg lacking in your relationship?

[Nikki1989]

You are still young and immature. You will snap out of it as you grow older.

[Abbycado]

You’re insecure. what do you have to be jealous about if she is with you?

Nothing. She picked you. She could’ve the others but didn’t.

[Asker]

I have nothing to be jealous about, my jealousy is irrational. I'm asking for advice on how to overcome it.

[Abbycado]

Read what you wrote.

[Asker]

I read what I wrote. I understand that I'm irrational. I need help, and I'm asking for it. What's wrong?

[Abbycado]

You’re irrational. You nailed it buddy.

[JacobJordan]

Trust. You trust your partner or leave

[Asker]

I trust her. I trust her blindly, I'd never ever suspect anything with her. My jealousy doesn't come from fear that she'd leave me for someone or anything like that, my jealousy is completely irrational, and it needs a fix.

[Anonymous]

How does her reading smut matter?

[JayBones]

Suicide.