Why do people tolerate too much as long as it's not infidelity (there are other things just as bad or worse than cheating)?

[Anonymous]

While infidelity is a serious violation of trust and takes over the whole relationship, what about if your partner does these other things:

- Disrespectful towards your friends and family... bullies other people too

- In anger, they post humiliating posts or pictures of you

- Humiliates you and emotional abuse

- Ends up owning you money and isn't paying you back... that's a serious violation of trust too

- Lies about saving money but they're gambling or doing it on drugs or alcohol, again that's a serious violation of trust too

Let's give it negative points for each thing they ever do wrong and a -100 is grounds for break-up. Ok so cheating is already -500 points. If you count everything mentioned on that list, if combined all together that's already way more negative points. Not returning your money or lying about the usage of it, can be -500 points too.

I can think of other worse things a partner can ever do, worse than sleeping with someone else. It's bad but I don't think it's the worst thing ever. Hiring a hitman to collect their money would be the worst betrayal ever; that one definitely overrides cheating.

Updates

1 mo

What about if the one that got cheated on isn't your typical 'nice, sweet, poor innocent person'' overall. Ok they don't cheat but they're awful bullies towards others and do other mean things. Meanwhile the one that cheated is only guilty of cheating, nothing else.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't... violation of trust mostly means good bye. Mostly, because every situation is different.

[Asker]

Exactly. That's how it should be but many people seem consider that a cheater should be trashed forever, that they are the worst people ever. Yet there are people that do so much, that it can be worse than your partner sleeping with someone else.

[Asker]

and at times, the one that got cheated one isn't really a decent, nice person. They had done other wrongs and are mean towards other people. I'm not sure I would be much compassion for them.

[IslaTheWitch]

be careful lol
many people who did nothing wrong were cheated on... I'm in that group :D

[Asker]

That's why I said at times. Not everyone that got cheated on are decent people in other areas of life.

[Asker]

and then there is this guy that saved Jews from getting killed at camps, saved many lives but yet had affairs. He was unfaithful husband but not overall a bad person in other areas of life.