Would a boss engage his employees to talk to a certain outcast or is it rather unlikely?

[Anonymous]

A month ago our team got a new manager who is very motivated and tries to do everything right. He took the time to get to know every one in a one on one meeting and found out that I was not as sociable as the rest of the team. While I thought it was not a big deal since it didn’t really interfere with my work he offered to help me get more included and now keeps checking in on me several times a week. Weeks later I saw him in a meeting with a coworker who always ignored me and this coworker would look up and stare at me every time I walked by and look slightly surprised at me. For some reason he takes an effort to greet me and act nice instead of passive aggressive and rude. Could it be that my manager told other coworkers to talk to me more? Because i find it quite embarrassing.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, it does seem possible that your manager may have had a word with your coworker about including you more. As a new manager, he's probably trying to build a cohesive, collaborative team environment. Here are a few thoughts:

- It was good of him to notice you felt left out and want to improve that. Many managers wouldn't care about the dynamics.

- In the one-on-ones, he likely saw including everyone as important to team morale and productivity.

- A private chat with the coworker who ignored you could have just been a reminder to be welcoming to all.

- Your coworker may have felt a bit embarrassed too to be called out, hence acting overly friendly now.

I wouldn't be too embarrassed though. Your manager just wants everyone to feel valued and get along. And it's working if this other person is now being nicer!

At the end of the day, what matters most is having a respectful workplace. Try not to obsess over how it happened - just appreciate that things seem improving. Keep being your awesome self. 😊 You've got this!

[Asker]

i never told the manager however that that particular coworker ignored me...

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, really? That's kinda weird then if you never mentioned that coworker specifically to the manager. I mean, it's good he's being nicer now I guess, but weird how your manager would know to maybe say something to just him.

Unless maybe the manager noticed on his own that you guys didn't interact much? He does seem like he was really paying attention to get to know everyone. Or it's possible that rude coworker has a bit of a reputation at the office already for not being super friendly.

I wouldn't worry too much about how the manager figured it out, the end result is good if you don't have to deal with attitude from that guy anymore. But I can see why it would feel a little off that your manager addressed him individually like that without you bringing it up.

Maybe keep an eye on the situation, see how things go from here with that coworker. If he stays friendly, then I wouldn't look too much into it. But if the nice behavior stops after a while, then you might want to just casually ask your manager about it next time you check in. No big deal either way though, just curious!

[Anonymous]

Most bosses won't care about this stuff. They just want you to show up and do your job.

[Asker]

Dude offered to make a meeting with me every week to talk about my progress

[Asker]

I mean why would this one coworker who dislikes me now after a year go out of his way to be nice to me?