Why do guys follow and like girls bikini pictures?

Question

hey everyone,
my fiance and i have been together for 8 years. I don't know if im having an insecurity issue or what he has done is disrespectful and im gaslighting myself into thinking its okay. so he follows bikini girls and likes their pictures. he used to DM girls two years ago telling them they are pretty. i begged him to stop and he never did. then instagram blocked him from logging into his account for a year and he finally got it back in January. he showed me his DMs and he hasn’t DMed any girl since he got it back. however, he still follows and likes bikini pictures and it makes me sad. i’ve asked him to stop and he has slowed down a bunch but i know he still does it. so we haven’t really had a normal conversation for months. it’s all about why he follows girls and why he likes pictures and why he doesn’t take me out on dates or why he doesn’t call me or text me as often anymore. i’m exhausted by complaining so much and i know he’s tired of it too. whenever i call him 9 times of 10 he would ignore my calls because he knows it’s going to be about instagram. so last night i had asked him if he would care if i post bikini pictures and he said no maybe that will change you then i asked if he would care if i get attention from other people and he said no because he knows that’s what i want to do. that’s not true at all, i want him. so i don’t know what to do. any advice?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Every (straight) man enjoys the sight of beautiful women, just as every (straight) woman enjoys the sight of handsome men. Merely looking shouldn't be a big deal.

Where he crossed the line is by getting in contact with those other women. While that's not cheating, it's cheating-adjacent, and that's something you actively avoid when you're in a relationship.

Your big problem is that you waited WAY, WAY too long to deal with this. You needed to set some boundaries way back in the beginning of your relationship, and you didn't, and, really, it's too late to do that now. At this point, you have two choices: either accept that he does this and will always do this, and never bug him about it again, or you end your relationship with him. I know you don't like either of those choices, but this is the position you put yourself in by failing to vet your partner in the first place (based on his morals, values, and life-goals) and by failing to establish boundaries and expectations from the beginning.

It's a shame you wasted so much time, but you need to make a choice here, and put this issue to bed one way or another.

I will say that every guy is going to look at other women - that's just part of the nature of being a man, and if you think you can find a guy who never looks at another woman, you'd be deluding yourself. BUT, most men who choose to get into a relationship aren't going to be contacting other women, because they know that's not acceptable behavior and they wouldn't want their girlfriend/wife contacting other men.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Well he is clearly disrespecting the relationship he is in with you , by investing his time into these instgram girls instead of investing time into you ’ , something you should honestly really reconsider on whether you want to continue being in a relationship like this or dump him and move on and find yourself someone that values you and appreciiates you, your boyfriend clearly doesn’t appreciate or value you , you are just a convenience to him , it will just be a matter of time that he meets someone else and kicks you to the curb. Never be a convenience to anyone , if he truly loved you , he wouldn’t be disrespecting you like he does. Dump him girl and realize you deserve better

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

He’s horny and he wants a girl other than you. He hopes that by following these girls and liking their pics he’ll get some attention from them. He must’ve done something pretty bad to get banned by insta. He also doesn’t seem to care what you do (or so he says; he might change his mind if you actually do it). I would dump him.

laly520 · Accepted Answer

he ain't the one if he is seeing no problem in what he is doing n ain't prepared to respect u or u guys relationship then he ain't the one the more u stay with him the worse it will get for u rethink

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

The dance between insecurity and disrespect can be a tricky one to navigate, especially in the digital world of likes, follows, and DMs. It sounds like what you're craving here is not just his attention, but respect and understanding for your feelings. It's natural to feel uneasy when your partner is engaging with content that makes you uncomfortable—acknowledging this doesn't make you insecure. Communication is key, but it takes two to tango. If conversing about Instagram habits is leading to ignored calls and avoidance, perhaps it's time to shift the focus. Try having a heart-to-heart about your needs and feelings without zeroing in on his social media activity. Express how much you value feeling cherished and prioritized, beyond the digital realm. It's possible he genuinely doesn't comprehend the extent of how his actions affect you, or maybe there's a deeper issue at play. Remember, a relationship thrives on mutual respect and understanding. If the conversation continues to circle without progress, you might consider seeking the guidance of a relationship coach or counselor to navigate these choppy waters together. 😉 Keep the lines of communication open and let's aim for a resolution that brings you both closer, rather than driving a wedge.

Drew-1990 · Answer

I'm so sorry that he is doing this to you. There is no reason why he should be looking at these girls especially sending them messages when he is with you. He is being very disrespectful to you by not stopping when you have asked him to. It is one thing to do those things when single but none when you are in a relationship. He is going to notice these girls that is unavoidable but he should not follow, like or chat with the especially with you asking him to stop. I don't think he should be ok with you posting that kind of pic either. You should get that attention from him not random guys online who only care about looking at your body. Again I'm sorry he is doing this to you. I know he isn't letting you but you really need to have a good sit down with him to convince him to stop and if he won't you may have to consider leaving the relationship before your married he is not showing you respect.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Take yourself out of the equation for just a few mins and read your question back as if it was anyone else asking it. Can you not see that you are hurting each other, and wrecking any chances of being happy together!

I advise you to either break up, or try very hard and overcome it. You really don't have the right, or even the ability to control him any more than he does you. Besides, if he wanted to he could always open up a different account you don't know about!

Lynx122 · Answer

I don't think he cares much about you. I do think you have insecurity issues too but DMing girls on instagram shouldn't be something you do in a relationship. And the fact that you begged him to stop and he hasn't, shows that he doesn't care much about your feelings.

MittParekh15 · Answer

It's Normal for a Guy to like Bikini pics of girls, but same should be avaioded when he is in a relationship

Seems he has crossed his limit and he is also not reverting on your calls , better to look for someone else

I don't know why you are behind such guy, you are even trying to change yourself and want to post bikini pics, I would suggest just be yourself and stop giving unnecessary attention to him and find someone to be happy with.

JacobJordan · Answer

Well he needs to grow the fuck up. He is getting married and still checking out other women. You should be considering if you even want this relationship. And if so he needs to get his shit together

bobalife · Answer

He’s an asshole…. please ditch him. Why want a guy who’s so thirsty for so many women? That’s not commitment nor respectful.

Taniisokay · Answer

He isn't attracted to you anymore. Move on.

DrPepper12 · Answer

It doesn't sound good for the long term TBH. Instagram aside it's time to reevaluate this relationship.

Reem12345reem · Answer

every action of his is showing u that he's not the one , so just break up

Dbtr99 · Answer

Leave him if he doesn’t respect your relationship.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

He's clearly not interested in you. It's over.

soe11 · Answer

He live in delusional condition and fantasy world. He will get no where in his life, you leave him and search for real man.

RealMarek · Answer

A lot of men like to simp. It is disrespectful to you and it’s weak of him.

MrDaveAPSI · Answer

Why not? They are showing what they got, so, why not?

pethouse · Answer

Yeah he’s disrespecting the relationship. Also how tf did he get blocked from Instagram?

In_Trance · Answer

You definitely insecure and you need to stay off of his social media before you fuck everything up

Bobby88t · Answer

Because we are not blind. Female body is a piece of art. My fave is hourglass figure

dragoblack · Answer

Because we like attractive women and we appreciate women who take time to work on themselves.

Amur8711 · Answer

You are gaslighting yourself. He needs to be devoted to you and you are the only woman he should be thirsting over.

Anonymous · Answer

Not sure why "some" guys do it. I've never done that type of thing. I use Instagram to post pictures of nature and follow digital artists.

Why do guys follow and like girls bikini pictures?

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