Boyfriend cheated but still won't let me see his phone?

[Anonymous]

I used to look at my bfs phone and laptop if he wasn't around. That is how I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We decided to try again and work things out. He has put passwords on everything and keeps his phone on him at all time now though. I have looked at his phone once or twice but Haven't found anything bad yet. I have no problem with him knowing my password or having a look through my phone if he felt the need too. But he is so adamant about it and gets angry if he catches me doing it. We do spend all our time together however pretty much unless he has to go away working for a day or two but he still messages me. I don't know its just hard because I wouldn't have known that he cheated if I didn't snoop and now I can't and he caught me looking the other night and got angry and said if I can't stop then he will end it. I really want this to work... I don't like snooping but the fact that he is so protective makes me want too. If he didn't care and wasn't worried yes I would snoop but as time went on I would stop myself as yes it is bad but my trust would have been stronger in him. And the fact that he doesn't care if I did snoop would make me feel like there was no need too.

[Phoenix1991]

Well I don't blame him and I don't blame you. Reasons why is because as a human being, each human has the right to privacy and freedom to live their life their own way. So is it wrong for him to have passwords on his stuff? Nope, not even in the slightest, everyone does, I even have a password on my cellphone. Its not the fact I have anything to hide, just don't like when people snoop around through my stuff. I let my girlfriend one time log on my MSN because she wanted to, I didn't have anything to hide so I let her, she read an old letter where someone wrote me a poem when we were together at the time. I forgot to delete it and it bummed out my girlfriend. I changed my password and everything to prevent that from happening again. But if I cheated on her, I can understand her to being paranoid, but you have to come to final decision within yourself. You can't invade his privacy, if he gives you the option, cool, but if not then you have to let it go or walk. I know you want to trust him but its hard, but you have to pick either one, there is no in between =(. I wish you the best of luck.

[dudeman]

why are you with him, you are giving him permission to cheat, you're getting what you deserve

[christinalong338]

he's untrustworthy and isn't willing to give you access to the things he used to cheat while you're rebuilding your trust in him. what he wants (privacy and trust after he got caught cheating) is more important to him than what you need in order to rebuild that trust. leave him. He's behaving sneakily and is angry at your lack of trust that HE created by cheating. fuck that. he's a dick