I feel like there is a wall that I cannot reach. When I ask how was your day/work he only says fine and doesn't inform me about anything. I just found out he was dealing with a case that his client's relatives might sue him. Isn't it a thing that should be told to a girlfriend?
Yes and it’s not a healthy relationship, the private person can pretty much have the whole relationship by themselves, you are just a convenience to them , whether you are there or not , it doesn’t matter to them , cuz everything is about themselves , they only come to you when it’s convenient for them , but when it comes down to you needing or wanting something, they act like you are crazy for even asking. It’s pretty much a one sided relationship and something you should really reconsider yourself staying in. . You are only hurting yourself by thinking that person actually loves and cares about you , cuz sadly they don’t , they just like what they can get from you. A healthy relationship is being best friends with your partner , the both of you can have deep conversations with each other and enjoy spending time with each other no matter where you both are at any given time , it’s you and your partner Vs the world standing by each others’ side , opening up to each other and listening to each other. When you are with someone that keeps a lot of things to themselves , and doesn’t share a lot of things with you and you are pretty much the last person to know anything , that’s a a red flag that they don’t really appreciate or value you. They are just with you out of convenience you are just an option to them not a priority , they are just basically stringing you along until something better comes along, and when that something better comes along , You will be last to know. My advice to you is to not tolerate that shit period. Sadly you will have Sucker written on your head without realizing you do. I was in your shoes before and the best thing I did for myself was to get away.
Do you not realise the point of sharing? It is to ease the burden of worry and aiding in the possibility that talking about something can help resolve the issue.
The point I'm trying to make is, if someone doesn't want to discuss something, badgering them into telling you will not help, only exacerbate the situation..
I always advise saying 'fair enough, you're not ready to discuss it.. If and when you change your mind, you know where I am!'
That takes any pressure of him feeling pressurised into telling you, and you having to keep asking.
Have I dated anyone private? Yes, and I can also be private in that way too. The principle should always be the same however..
Yeah. He may just wanna handle on his own and not worry you… he’s scare to be vulnerable and may not be ready to disclose it… or he don’t know how to tell you. I think you can offer to be a support but just be mindful, sensitive, and respectful of his space when/if he’s ready to talk about it. I think it’s okay to check in how he’s doing and about it but if he don’t wanna talk about it, then you can’t force it. Some people also just want time and space before they open up too. I think it’s also okay to let him know that you know he can do it but you’re also there for him and wanna be there. Hopefully your man will be okay~
Not only are they private, but their body language says "Don't get too close to me".
It's terribly uncomfortable to be the one always trying to make conversation.
They won't ever change and you will start to resent him for being private with you.
This is a one way relationship. Get out and find a functional relationship because this one is definitely dysfunctional!
Navigating a relationship with someone who plays their cards close to their chest can often leave you feeling like you're on the outside looking in. It's all about finding the balance between respecting their need for privacy and expressing your need for openness. In cases like yours, where significant issues are being kept under wraps, it's fair to feel left out. Communication is the key. Try to create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable sharing. Remember, everyone has their own comfort level when it comes to opening up, and it might take some time for your partner to lower that wall. Keep the conversation light, inject a bit of humor if you can, and let him know you're there for him. Who knows, maybe with a little patience and a lot of love, you'll find a way into his inner world. 😉
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The thing about private people is that they'll tell you when and if they're ready to tell you. You won't be able to get them to open up until they're ready.
I once dated a lady like that. She just wasn't comfortable opening up and talking about anything in her personal life. It was like pulling teeth. We ended up splitting ways because of it.
She had just gotten it into her head that our connection was only ever going to get to a certain point and I had reached that point, and that was that. I'm really not sure why she (a 29 year old woman) couldn't have just handled that like an adult instead of being a spaz and going schizo, but it is what it is.
not everyone likes to talk about the work... especially if it's stressful...
talk to him, if you want him to share more. Focus on your observations and and avoid blaming him. Have some proposition for him. Be ready for negotiations and compromise
Why would he have to tell you if it doesn't directly involve you?
Being in a relationship doesn't automatically entitle you to detailed progress reports on his work-life.
Obviously if you have a problem with that, you should be taking it up with him directly.
I'm hoping that @sheikalana won't mind me reiterating her own comments, as this very much applies to both my husband and I.
Yes, me and my Husband are both very private but we share everything with each other.
What the fuck does that mean private person? Arnt we all private? It’s not like a whole Lotta people know my entire life story. I don’t believe I’ve ever met a private person. Maybe it’s because they probably live on a rock all by themselves.
It's good he doesn't bring his work home. Most guys don't like to gossip about work.
I married one.
I couldn't do that. That shit would drive me crazy
once
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