How would you feel if you found out your significant other did hard drugs?

[Simslover92]

My boyfriend told me he did coke once and it didn't bother me at all. I'm not judgmental at all.

He said it didn't do anything to him though and I'm thinking that's because he didn't take enough but I'm glad he's only done it once and says he won't do it again.

I don't want a coke head for a boyfriend but I didn't mind him trying it once as an experiment.

But how would you guys react to your significant other doing cocaine or another hard drug?

[FatNeville]

I wouldn't think much the worse about her, provided that she was able to get clean. There is quite a history of cocaine use in my family, and both of my parents were involved with drugs in some form or another. I don't hold it against someone to indulge their curiosity by trying to find out what such an experience is really like, though I would prefer that they limit that to things that are less risky and less questionable from a legal standpoint. If my significant other was able to stop using hard drugs after previous usage when she was younger, it shows that she doesn't want to be enslaved to such substances, and that can be a sign to me that she has an admirable level of willpower and determination.

If she continues to use hard drugs, I would, strangely enough, hope that it is because she is addicted. I am aware that addiction is a horrible disease, and I wouldn't want anyone to have to experience that. But if she were to use hard drugs without being addicted, I would feel like she just doesn't care enough about me to avoid doing things with such negative consequences. If she is addicted, I would do my best to help her recover. After receiving mental health treatment for so many years (whether it be individual therapy, group therapy, or treatment in a mental health facility that also caters to persons who wish to overcome their addiction), I probably know at least as much as, and perhaps more than, the typical person regarding the disease of addiction. I'm also at least somewhat familiar with the Twelve Steps, and I have encountered numerous people who would be in a much worse place had it not been for NA or AA.

When a person is addicted, using becomes less of a choice and more of a fundamental part of the life of the addicted person. The desire to use becomes so strong that it feels like a biological need, and in some cases it sort of can, to some extent. Suddenly withdrawing from drug usage without doing so under the care of a medical provider in a controlled environment can result in agony. Addicted people can resort to extraordinary measures to ensure they have access to their drug of choice, which often needs to be a quantity that is ever-increasing to maintain the feeling of "being okay" due to the body becoming used to the drug. In a relatively small city, roughly fifteen years ago, every single homicide was drug-related in some manner.

When a person uses a drug like cocaine, there is an increase in the release of dopamine, an important neurotransmitter associated with the pleasurable feelings from the "reward center" of the brain. This dopamine builds up temporarily, but it doesn't last forever. There is a limit to how much dopamine can be released at a time. And while a person feels great while under the "high" of the drug, they are, over the long run, more depressed, and they continue to seek the comfort they feel from the build up of dopamine and other effects of the drug.

In my view, a person who has become addicted to a substance to such a degree will forever be an addict. If he or she refrains from using drugs for thirty years, I would consider him or her to be a recovering addict. Addiction is not a disease that it is ever possible to fully recover from. The person has been forever changed. A pickle can never become a cucumber again. And even a person who has been clean for many years can lose it all if they ever give in to an urge to try their drug of choice again.

Of course, this question asks about past drug use and doesn't ask for a treatise on addiction nor where we stand on the issue of addiction at all. But I feel like the role addiction plays as such a prevalent disease is inextricably linked to the usage of hard drugs, and while much of what has preceded in this opinion is not directly connected to the question, it is not entirely irrelevant to an intelligent discussion of what a history of hard drug use can mean to someone.

To conclude, I will say once again that I won't break up with my significant other nor think any less of a person because of a history of hard drug use. Personally, I have never used street drugs nor even ever consumed an alcoholic beverage, and this is because I have seen too much of what can potentially happen if someone becomes addicted. But if my significant other were to have experience with hard drugs, I would just hope that she would have learned positive things from the experience. After all, experimentation with cannabis is generally not a deal breaker if a person wishes to become a law enforcement officer. While cannabis is far from what I would consider to be a "hard drug", I feel like why my significant other used a hard drug would be more important to me than just the fact that she used.

[FatNeville]

I feel like this opinion got "liked" faster than it would take me to read it had I not been the one to author it myself, and certainly faster than it took to think through all that and put it into words...

[Simslover92]

I'm a fast reader lol but I liked what you said. I'm with you on what you said.

[Simslover92]

I've had family members are drugs too so I completely understand

[FatNeville]

On another point, an addict will often require therapy for the rest of his or her life, and perhaps mood stabilization drugs as well. But part of this may be because the person already had a mental illness or disorder and the person was turning to the drug as a way of coping with the symptoms as a form of self-medicating.

[FatNeville]

Oh, interesting. I wrote my last comment before your replies appeared for me. But it's cool that you understand where I'm coming from.

[TheSpectre]

Guh... Everyone saying that they would break up, which IN MY OPINION nothing but lack of selfless-ness. (makes sense i hope)

And, for me, i'd help her get any help she needs if she want to quit. If not, who am i to judge? Adoption is another option and ALSO letting her know that she might overdose of anything and watching her closer as support is another good option.

Would i do drugs? Maybe weed. 😅

[Simslover92]

Lol same here!

[TheSpectre]

Let smoke together, sister! 🤣🔥

[Simslover92]

Lol sure!

[TheSpectre]

Wow! THANK YOU! 🤗❤

[Horror_lover92]

My ex was doing that as well, it didn't bother me. I was glad he was honest and he didn't do it around me, just in case something happens he didn't want me involved. The only reason I broke up with him was because I found out he was lying to me. He lost his job, so I was helping him with his cellphone bill and buying him food. He needed $150 for a bill he couldn't afford so I gave it to him with no hesitation, plus extra for his cellphone bill so I believe it was like $240 including a little extra for food. Found out that $240 was for drugs and what he owed his dealer. And it hurt because all that time I was giving him money It came to me that he was using that money to buy drugs and I broke up with him. I felt used. Plus this wasn't the first time. I gave him a second chance. The first time I was supposedly helping him start online classes and he actually admitted that he didn't even start. So that money went to drugs and alcohol.

[Simslover92]

Oh wow I'm so sorry.

[sage2021]

@Horror_lover92
See, that's the thing - they lie to you about money and they're very convincing, so you gave him the money. I did the same thing as you. I believed him when he wanted to go grocery shopping, but always came home empty handed.
He was taking drugs and I couldn't even tell. Then as time went on, he started acting like he had dementia, and maybe he did. He totally changed for about three months - then he died because his drugs were laced with Fentanyl. He died alone. I was just down the hall in another apartment. He didn't have a cellphone to call 911 or anyone, so he just died.
He had ADHD since he was a young boy and the drugs helped with the horrible symptoms of his ADHD.
I'm sure if he didn't have ADHD he could have gone to college for years and become an astronomer. He loved the universe and everything about it. But he couldn't go to school because of the ADHD.
Very sad.
RIP Patrick 💔 my love

[electromagnetic]

I cannot judge my partner for his past life. I can for the actions he takes now though. I know he loves beer and seldom uses marijuana. If he was doing hard drugs now, he might as well keep up with the habit. 😆

[Rei13]

If they chose to get clean and don’t fall back into it then I can look past it and not use that against them even if I would never have associated myself with them when they were actively doing drugs.

[AviatorTom]

If it was a one-time thing, hopefully a long time ago, I wouldn't be concerned. If it was an ongoing addiction, I'd be very concerned, and do my best to help her get over the addiction.

[sage2021]

@AviatorTom
What if you tried to help them get off drugs but they didn't even try, because they liked the drugs? Then what do you do with them?

[AviatorTom]

@sage2021 That would be bye-bye time.

[Finchie40]

Wouldn’t bother me if they were honest to me about it , just as long as she doesn’t get addicted or lying to me behind my back , I would be ok with it that she was just experiencing, I had my experiences as well so I wouldn’t be a hypocrite

[molonski2]

If it was just like your boyfriend , nothing at all , thats 3/4 of people.

If they were full on using Ice , that would be a different issue altogether , but if just speeding , or " I've taken an e " , or " I did cocaine at a party " , I wouldn't think twice.

But , I've had some friends who have had massive drug issues , and one ( not friend , but knew of him as a kid ) who murdered a flat mate in a psychotic episode , another guy with personality disorders completely addicted to Coke ( and people say you can't be ) , another friend clean for a decade who's hands will shake and sweat when he talks of his days on the gear..

So conversely , never take it lightly as if its nothing.

[Simslover92]

Wow that's so awful.

[molonski2]

Got 19 years , it was a frenzied attack , he killed a man 69 years old who owned the house ,
He started at 15 smoking weed , then progressed , off the juice he was a quiet kid.. On the gear , with a knife , a different story.

[Simslover92]

Oh man that's so sad.

[molonski2]

He is out now... but I have no update , I'm not in that area anymore.

[Simslover92]

Well I hope he is okay and not doing drugs anymore.

[molonski2]

Me too , it would be part of his parole..
But , it just goes to show what can *sometimes happen.

[Chazmatazz269]

There aren’t really “hard drugs”. Drugs are just drugs. That nonsense was contrived by the con artists behind the “war on drugs”, and it largely singled out drugs more prevalent in communities of people of color.
I’ve done lots of different drugs; most of them more than once. It would be hypocritical for me to be overly judgmental of someone who did the same. I’m not big on hypocrisy. I’m also an alcoholic. So i spend more time wondering how people will react to that about me than wondering about what they’ve done.
The human mind is kind of funny that way. Most of us spend more time criticizing ourselves than others, but constantly assume others are critical of us. They’re probably just chewing on their own insecurities just like us! Ell oh ell!

[Simslover92]

That's true. Most of us spend more time criticizing ourselves than others but constantly assume others are critical of us.

[PeachyPie93]

I wouldn't care as long as it was in the past and not something he does on the regular. If it was something like heroin then I would probably break up lol cuz that is easy to get back into and you can catch stuff from needles.

[Simslover92]

Yeah I would have probably not been cool with the heroin. But he knows better than to ever do that.

[jahaims]

You can snort, smoke, or inject heroin. It is also easy to get clean needles. You are picturing a junkie using it, not someone who can use drugs responsibly. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin. People can't get off of heroin because of the sickness/discomfort phase of withdrawals more so than the actual addiction. Habitual drug use is indicative of someone who doesn't like their life more than someone who is addicted.

[Simslover92]

Well I just hear the bad shit about heroin. I hear that once you start you can't get off but I guess I'm misinformed on it.

[jahaims]

That was the point of what I said. Hearsay vs. facts. Most people go off of hearsay instead of facts and / or experience.

[PeachyPie93]

@jahaims Heroin is super addictive, what are you taking about? lol It is one of the most addictive drug. It is easy to get needles but if they don't have one on hand they will share. There is no just using it recreationally lol

[Simslover92]

Well I will admit I've been going off of hearsay. I guess I should go off of actual facts about it. Thanks for the information on it.

[jahaims]

I have used various "hard drugs" recreationally plenty of times. Same as my friends. If you want hard science, look up Dr. Carl Hart. Again, I am going off of facts and experiences, not random information I am fed by other people with no knowledge or experience. I didn't say it wasn't addictive. I pointed out that nicotine, a drug that is accepted by society, is more addictive. That was for perspective since you lack it.

[PeachyPie93]

@jahaims I have friends who are addicts. I was never dumb enough to try heroin or meth because how it gets you. But yeah if you sniff it or smoke it it isn't that big a deal but you get a way better high from injecting it which is what gets the users. Perhaps nicotine is but doesn't mean that this isn't lol. I am going from my friends experiences and declines, plus I lost a one to drug use. So it isn't hear say.

[jahaims]

It only gets you if you are an irresponsible user. There is a big difference between using a drug for fun and using it as a coping mechanism to escape reality. You saying it isn't as big of a deal to snort it or smoke it goes to show you are going off the stigma of injecting being worse. Injecting it gives you a shorter, more intense high. Obviously, that is the case because it is going straight into your blood instead of your body breaking it down and moving it to your blood. Any drug you put straight into your bloodstream is going to be more intense and shorter.

[PeachyPie93]

@jahaims Yeah but the fact it is shorter and more intense is the cause of the addiction they keep chasing that high. And if you haven't noticed drug use almost always is a coping mechanism so most people are not responsible users. I know I didn't use drugs for fun, I could have fun sober, I used them to try and not feel what I felt lol.

[jahaims]

You just don't notice responsible drug use because you aren't around it, haven't experienced it and there is no way for you to know if someone is a responsible user beyond you seeing them or them telling you. Plenty of people use drugs responsibly and recreationally. You notice addicts because they are obvious. You have missed my entire point, lol. Thank you for proving my point that you are going off of hearsay and emotions instead of facts.

[PeachyPie93]

@jahaims Alright buddy whatever you say. "Plenty of people use drugs responsibly and recreationally", yes that is true since I know my parents did/do that. Clearly so did I, since I never became an addict but most don't because normal people don't need drugs at all unless something is wrong.

[DizzyDesii]

Its a dealbreaker even if experimenting. Everyone accused my ex of being a cokehead because of how easily his eyes dilate (based off the lighting) as well as based off some of his lies and actions. I dont think he was one but he had no issue with some of his friends and coworkers experimenting with that. That made me look at him sideways especially when he stopped saying “never” and started saying “i dont think i would try but I don’t want to say never.

[fantasticass]

I used to use cocaine in the year 1985. That was 39 years ago. Weed wasn't legal, and cocaine was easier to get.. it was different 39 years ago. I haven't had any since 1987, however I smoke weed everyday since 1977. I got arrested for smoking a joint at the bus stop in 1980... life is about exploring different avenues... weed will never harm you...✌️🇨🇦

[sage2021]

@fantasticass
Maybe you think weed won't harm you but it does. Weed has THC and other chemicals in it. Why do you think you smoke it every frickin day?
It won't harm you so you say until you get some that's laced with Fentanyl and you die 🪦⚰️ from it like my boyfriend did 6 months ago. ☮️

[fantasticass]

That would never happen. I don't purchase weed from the street. I'm 62 years old.

[Anonymous]

Well I found out my co-workers boyfriend did drugs when she offered to give me a ride home from work, and police sirens lit up behind us, and she freaked out, not because she was being pulled over, but because she knew her boyfriend had left his drugs in the car and hadn't taken them out, and I was her innocent co-worker who didn't know anything about this, and here we were. Thank F Christ, the cop was after someone else, but other than I abhor drug use because too many people gone too soon who once "just tried it, but I'm not about to go to jail for their poor life choices.

[Simslover92]

Oh wow that's rough. I'm sorry. That could have went horribly.

[Opinion Owner]

I was PISSED and am so thankful luck was on my side that day because what cop is going to believe you when you are actually telling the truth and say you didn't know anything about them? Just not worth it to be around people like that, because they too can turn on you and blame you for their crap, and again, I'm not going to jail for other people's poor life choices.

[Simslover92]

As you have every right to have been. That was so fucked up what happened. You were very fortunate indeed. And you're right. It's not worth it at all.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I lost friends from taking Class A drugs, some very dear to me so I despise ALL forms of hard drugs!
I would be heartbroken, but I would do my best to help her through it!

[Simslover92]

I'm so sorry that happened.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you @Simslover92. I appreciate that, and I'm very pleased your b/f didn't become addicted.

[Simslover92]

Yeah that was a one time thing for him. He's never doing it again.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Good to hear.

[Fireguy17]

there is a difference between trying it once and not doing it again, and actively doing drugs.
I would probably be ok if it was a one-time thing, but I sure would be on the lookout for signs and symptoms of actively using a drug.
If she was using and lying to me then I'm pretty sure it would be goodbye.

[IslaTheWitch]

If it was in the past and he is clean, I don't care. We will just keep it in mind as dome psychiatric medications are based on drugs and he wouldn't use them

[HighValue]

I wouldn't want them. Drug users 9including people that smoke weed) can't be trusted. And if it was a woman and I wanted kids, it would be even worse because it damages their eggs. If enough drugs are done, it also damages the cells in men that produce sperm and can harm their future offspring too.

[Simslover92]

Oh wow didn't know that.

[HighValue]

Yeah. When women do drugs, since they already have their eggs, it usually leads to learning disabilities in their future offspring. Not always, because there is a chance that the egg that gets inseminated happens to not be one of the damaged ones, so it is a risk/gamble, but usually it applies. For men, since they reproduce sperm, it is much less likely until they have done enough drugs to damage certain reproductive cells, and the results of that are often physical problems like poor eyesight from an early age (even before they can read) or speech impediments.

[Simslover92]

Damn even marijuana? My boyfriend and I were going to do gummies this weekend.

[HighValue]

I would advise against doing it, especially if you want healthy kids in the future.
Due to an increase in drug use over the last couple generations, there are now MANY more students in school with learning disabilities.

[Simslover92]

Oh ok.

[Simslover92]

Thanks!

[bowenw]

I would be worried they may be using it even if they said they aren't. I'd be watching them closely.

[Simslover92]

I would be worried if my boyfriend was a different person but he's really not into drugs like that. He was at a friend's place who was doing it and wanted him to try it. That his first and only time.

[bowenw]

That is good that you don't have to deal with a addict.

[Simslover92]

Yes it is indeed!

[CrabCakes11]

If it was once, fine. Ever again and I’m leaving

[Simslover92]

Same here

[Kaneki05]

I had an Ex that did coke that wasn't the reason we didn't work out. So no it don't bother me.

[laly520]

I would have very deep conversation with him to be sure the truth is being told n there isn't any other risks

[Starrrboy]

Well if it's like a one time thing like you described then I'm okay with it.. but if they have a history where they frequently did it for some time then no sir I'm not touching that..

[KittygosMeoWW]

I thought that it didn’t bother me before because I too was willing to try certain things pre mom years lol but now it’s a red flag. Especially since my ex was a drug addict.

[Yoursweetgirl]

If he used it in the past and doesn't use now, I wouldn't mind, but if he's still abusing those I would break up.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd dump her in a flash, politely and respectfully, yet in a flash. I'd also feel regret knowing I'd been dating or screwing a woman like that, I don't like even ciggarette smokers vomits 🤢🤮

[itsclearlynicholas]

Or vapers or whatever. Gross 🤢

[Simslover92]

Oh ok

[LiamS95]

It would be different if they had done drugsxsnd don't now compared to them involved with doing hsrd drugs now or still.

[Raaj4you]

If she has already done once then it's fine. If she is doing it again then I will say goodbye to her.

[whistlingwh0res]

You have to be careful. Drug shrink their brain. I have had friends. They stole my money, steal grocery, lie, disoriented, get into accident, all kinds of bad things

[exitseven]

I probably would not think of her the same way.

[Simslover92]

Oh ok.

[VV3ZZY123]

I've done coke a few times. That shit's stupid. Burns a Hole in your Pocket

[Anonymous]

Not my type…. Maybe if it was once but I’m not really into degenerates. If someone has a past but has moved on from it and is a better person now. That’s one thing. But if someone isn’t being honest about it I may have a problem

[Anonymous]

Sure if it's once in the past

I've been offered coke (it's common in this business) but I never accepted it

[DonVitoCorleone]

Frankly, I wouldn't mind. Greetings from Italy. 🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇷🇺

[jshm2]

To be fair, he's probably into a lot more, and you've just missed the flag.

[Simslover92]

No he's definitely not. He doesn't do drugs like that.

[NathanDavis]

I would hope they're not users, or worse... addicts

[Drumlin2001]

My OH has done all sorts before we met. Doesn't bother me.

[Straight2thepoint]

If it's a bummer to you. You're not in a good relationship.

[Simslover92]

It's not. He only did it once. He's not into drugs.

[Pillubi]

It's a deal breaker for me.

[DonFredoCorleone]

I would break up with him. A healthy person neither smokes nor uses alcohol nor drugs.

[Anonymous]

The relationship would be over. Sorry, not sorry.

[RHK36]

As long as they don't anymore then we good.

[Kelly6]

@Simslover92 did,,, past

[CriticalCatDad123]

They wouldn’t be my significant other anymore

[Agape93]

That stops immediately

[Simslover92]

Oh ok

[Surely]

Give up on the drugs or hit the road!

[Babygirl_S]

I would end the relationship.

[Simslover92]

Oh ok.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'd dump them that a deal breaker for me

[Simslover92]

Oh ok

[Bklynbadboy12]

You seem surprised

[Simslover92]

No I'm not surprised.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I just feel that way cause I have a drug addicted cousin that stole everything he seen

[Simslover92]

Oh wow then I understand why you feel that way then. That's rough.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yeah it was

[austinbooth]

I’d be really upset

[jahaims]

I wouldn't care

[moneymagnet24]

You're also became guru here 🙃

[JayBones2469]

I'd be furious she didn't do them with me

[sheikalana]

Disappointed.

[Simslover92]

Oh ok.

[robocop666]

DUMP ASAP