Girls, my girlfriend think that I sent a message (I did not) to someone and don’t believe me. How can avoid loosing her?

[Anonymous]

Girls, I lent my phone, with my code, to my girlfriend. I have no problem if she go through my insta. When she sent herself some picture, she believes that she saw that I sent a message to an influencer (i did not). when she ask me, 5min later, there is obviously no message and she think I deleted it. I’m pretty sure she made a mistake, and was confuse by the profil of my best friend profile who has similar photo. From now she don’t trust me and don’t want to talk to me ! I’m deeply in love with her and I don’t want to loose her. I never sent a message to this person, and I never deleted a message, I never lied. I try to tell her but she don’t want to listen, I ask if we can try to make it through this, but again, she don’t want. How can I solve this? How can I prove that I didn’t do something? How do I convince her that I telle the truth and never send nor deleted a message? Should I leave some space as she ask? I don’t want to give up on us, we have a wonderful relationship. I love her as I never loved someone, I don’t want to lose my love. Am I going to loose her? Please I need help 😢😔

[SueShe]

The only reliable method to show that you are indeed innocent would be to have a forensic analysis of your phone content by a specialist that would be able to extract every information that has recently be stored, sent, received or deleted on your phone.

However, I am not sure you want to do that for 2 very distinctive reasons.

1. it is expensive

2. they might find things on your phone that you actually DON'T WANT your girlfriend to see or know.

Otherwise, it is is her word against yours and since you are sure that you did not do what she pretends you did.

However, her insecurities lead me to believe that you will not be able to prove anything and I wonder if you should not let her go because living with a person that from now on doubts everything you say and do is not the kind of relationship you want to be in.

[Anonymous]

Let her go, she has bad trust issues that you will always have to pay for even when you’re innocent. That isn’t love.

[Asker]

Yeah but at the same time, I understand if she believes what she saw, it could be difficult. I I believe I saw a message and moment after there is nothing. It’s understandable that she has difficulties to trust me 😔
I don’t want to loose her 💔

[Opinion Owner]

Do you love yourself or her more?

[Asker]

Honestly, I think love her far more than I love myself.
I think I can even forgive without earing the word “sorry”, just through action. I believe it’s almost always possible to go through difficult time, we did it few times and we became stronger and stronger

[Opinion Owner]

It’s ok to love her more than she loves you, but not more than you love your own self. That’s how she gets away with murder and gradually loses respect for you.

[Asker]

Always had self love problems, it’s another problem :/
It was better with her, she make me feel more self confident

[Opinion Owner]

Relationships should be an extension of an already fulfilling life. You don’t want to feel lost without this woman or like your world revolves around her. That’s how you start living for her and not yourself, or fall into deep anxieties or depression at the idea of losing her. That is a trauma bond, and there’s nothing romantic or loving about it. Even if this relationship doesn’t work, start working on your self esteem and confidence. Those are things you need to be able to feel on your own and not codependent of her or any other woman to bring it out.

[Asker]

I’m already working on my self esteem and it’s getting better. But it’s not that i feel lost without her. Of course I don’t want to lose her, I really love her. It’s juste that the relationship might end for no reason. Yes she doesn’t trust me, but she believe that she saw something wrong. It I had done something wrong, her reaction is understandable. But I did nothing. But from her perspective, I lied

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry for such late response, it was a busy Saturday. I absolutely understand not wanting the relationship to end for no reason. Except the fact that there is one, and the issue is trust. When you think of the foundation of a relationship, what comes to mind? For me it’s loyalty, communication, shared fundamental values, and trust. Without those the house falls down. You aren’t making such accusations, so it isn’t sensible to have a partner who feels comfortable making them. You will likely have more good days than bad ones, but when these things happen, it really makes you question why. I don't know about you but personally I’m not going to push or insinuate any sort of cheating accusation unless I was doing it myself. Whether it was texting, talking, etc, I’m going to point the finger to take the heat off me. You know you wouldn’t do her wrong, and I actually think it’s not only sick but suspicious for her to make such accusations.