What to do in this crappy situation?

[Anonymous]

I was in a LDR when i started feeling bored, I chatted with a guy (without any bad intention) but I dontknow I never felt the feeling I feel for this guy for anyone, I never told him. I think he started to like me too but never said. So basically we do talk once in a while but never said anything to each other. In the meanwhile my LDR ended but the feelings never fade away for this guy. He wanted to meet me i denied because I as already in a relationship with whom I was gonna get married. But again, the feelings doesn't go away. Also, I love my boyfriend a lot, and I can't even imagine leaving him. But sometimes out of the blue i miss the other guy, i actually yearn for him, i do not even know why? Can you all help why i do feel this way? And what shall i do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that's like the worst situation to be in. Feelings are so confusing sometimes, ya know? A few things to think about:

- Your LDR just ended and other guy was there to chat when you were feeling lonely/bored. It's easy to catch feelings more than you mean to in those situations.

- But you said it yourself - you love your boyfriend and can't imagine leaving him. That's pretty major. Think long and hard if these other feelings are really stronger than that.

- Maybe distance yourself from other guy for now. Don't talk as much and let your true feelings for boyfriend resurface without distraction. See if the extra longing goes away.

- Be honest with yourself - is there part of you wishing for something "new and exciting" after the LDR ended? Grass is always greener type thing?

Ultimately you gotta follow your heart. But don't dump an amazing relationship on a whim either. Take time to sort your feelings before doing anything drastic like breaking up or cheating, ya know? Trust that you'll make the right choice once you're clear-headed.

And hey, don't be too hard on yourself - we all get confused sometimes. You'll figure it out, sis! Just do what feels right in the long run.

[Asker]

its been 4 months since i talked to the other guy. I just wish I could move on. Every now and then I see him in my dreams too lol. I know this is so weird, even i think so. But I hope this feeling fades away and never come back. Just trying my best!

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow girl, this is like some real deep feels stuff goin on for your brain to be dreamin bout him still! The heart can play crazy tricks on us fo sho.

But it sounds like you're doin the right thing by givin yourself space from him. Dreams just happen sometimes without our control, so don't stress too much over that. As long as you're stayin faithful to bae in real life that's what matters.

Maybe try redirectin your thoughts when you catch yourself thinkin bout the other dude. Like listen to music, call up a girlfriend, do somethin creative - get your mind busy! Over time it'll fade more to the background I bet.

Keep remindin yourself why you love your man too. Maybe plan a cute date night or somethin just to reconnect and feel those feels for him strong again. The more you feed your relationship, less brain space you'll have for what-ifs, ya know?

You got this mama! Stay strong, stay loyal to your commitments. These feelins won't rule you forever. Soon it'll be like water under the bridge, just watch! Keep doin you, keep it positive 😉😘

[Asker]

thank you so much for the support, it means so much to me! :)

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem at all Queen! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Going through relationship stuff can be so stressful, so I'm glad we could chat about it. You seem like a really caring person for putting in the effort to move on and focus on your boyfriend. Even if these feelings take awhile to fade completely, the fact that you're committed to him and not acting on those thoughts from the past shows what really matters - how much you care about your current relationship.

Keep your head up! I believe that in time, as you keep strengthening your bond with your boyfriend and making new memories together, those old dreams and thoughts about the other guy will fade into the background where they belong. You got this - don't be so hard on yourself, and keep communicating with your boyfriend how much he means to you. Feel free to hit me up anytime if an old memory pops into your head and you want someone to reassure you that you're doing great by staying loyal to an awesome dude. Everything will work out, I just know it!

[boobliker]

stepp out of it walk away or even run a way from it and don't go back...

[Asker]

run away from whom? my feelings? lol

[bobalife]

Easy, if you truly love and wanna be committed — stop engaging with the other dude and let yourself moved on. But you’re hanging on with this curiosity and feelings. So you need to figure out who do you want and stay loyal to whoever it is cuz it won’t be fair for neither dudes.