Walked out on fiancés family after they asked me about our sex life?

[Anonymous]

Was I overreacting here? I’m visiting my finances country with him.

His family doesn’t speak great English but we were all sat together and his brother asked me ‘how is sex?’. This really annoyed me and I heard some laughs from his other family members. So I left the room and haven’t spoken to them since.

Did I overreact?

[MrOracle]

I think so.

One thing you always need to remember is that cultural norms are different, and it can be surprisingly easy to say or do something offensive, and it could go either way. When dealing with a different culture, especially with a language barrier, you need to have a thicker skin, and instead of assuming malice, assume that such incidents are language or cultural differences or misunderstandings.

Being offended might be the right thing at home, but when outside your own culture, you need to raise the threshold for being offended by a lot. That's especially true when you are in their land and in their homes. You will have a little more say when the situation is reversed.

I'm not suggesting that you need to answer the question, at least not in any detail. Often, parents are really wanting to know when they might expect some grandchildren. Grandchildren are super important in many cultures.

[Asker]

Thanks for the comment, what do you think a reasonable response is? I just felt really embarrassed

[MacDaddyRico]

Learn about the culture and customs of your fiancé's country.
America is one of the most up-tight countries when it comes to all things sexual, after all.

[MrOracle]

I would have said "it's just fine." and let it go at that. I understand you were embarrassed, but I'm sure they didn't intent you to be so. Do your best not to take such things personally, especially when you are traveling and in another culture. You can scream about it later when you get home or to your hotel or whatever, but don't react so negatively in front of others.

[HawkPerception]

You definitely did overreact. Everyone's family is different. Talking about sex openly is probably normal to them and they did not do that to offend you. Right now they're probably thinking one of 2 things or both: 1) You overreacted over nothing and they might think you're not the best match for their kid or 2) They're sad they offended you and will be more careful in the future in what they talk about

[Daniela1982]

Why do people look to other countries for love when there are 100 million of them in their own country? Just the logistics of seeing each other makes no sense to me. Also, family members in other countries look at things different, such as sex, where their having offspring is more important than here where women tend to have convenience abortions. I just don't get it.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I think you did overreact, but I can see how that would have been unexpected and embarrassing.

Me personally, I'd have grabbed my fiance's arm and said, "He's so hot in bed the neighbors had to call the fire department"... It compliments everyone and saves you from giving personal details about how it's going.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating different cultural norms can be like walking through a minefield blindfolded, especially when it comes to something as personal as your sex life! Wanting to escape that awkward moment doesn't sound like an overreaction to me; it sounds like your instincts kicking in to protect your boundaries. It's essential, though, to consider the spirit of the question—was it curiosity, a cultural misstep, or just plain rudeness? Maybe have a chat with your fiancé about setting some ground rules for family Q&As. Remember, it's all about communication and setting boundaries that keep you feeling safe and respected. 😉 Let's turn this into an opportunity to grow closer and deepen the mutual understanding between you and your partner's family. Love, understanding, and a dash of humor can go a long way here!

[ProbablyClueless]

That sounds like an overreaction, yes. Especially since English isn't their first language.

Also, I'm not sure what your friend group is like, but I know that a lot of western women give a lot more detail to their friends than would be appropriate about their sex lives. So it's possible that they just assumed you'd be comfortable talking about it.

[Nikki1989]

You didn't overreact at all. I would have told them to F off.

[MicahRaine]

I don't think it was an overreaction. That said, I'm sure they didn't mean to be rude. A lot of people are just curious and believe sex shouldn't be something to hide/be ashamed of

[dustybiker2]

It's common in some countries. They probably even enjoyed your reaction.

[Asker]

Why would they enjoy it?

[dustybiker2]

It's just the cultures. It's different. Especially in the home. Prob less so if out in a restaurant.

[Kelley1]

You did right to walk out and should wait until you get an apology.

[slatyb]

No, you didn't. Perhaps you should rethink the relationship. They may never accept you.

[andreasderjuengere]

Counter question: how is yours?

Answer - by not answering.

[DrPepper12]

NO!! Who the fuck does he think he is? Did your fiance tell him to fuck off?

[tfan1]

Depends on the culture. What culture is his family?

[noohair]

It depends on the culture. I don't know the cultural context.

[onedarkcloud]

No, It was none of their business. If you stay with him get used to it they will pry into everything

[Sagee1]

You are way too sensitive about this and, in my opinion, you overreacted in a big way. Actually, your reaction should be a big red flag for him.

[Anonymous]

Lord have mercy

[jahaims]

You were in the right

[MrDaveAPSI]

You mean "fiances"?

[Kimberly1979]

Ask them why area interested?