Am I wrong for leaving my girlfriend because she said that I'm not a man, because I cried when my mother died?

[Anonymous]

My ex girlfriend is 6 years younger than me, I'm 39. Last weekend I attended the funeral of my mother, breast cancer got her. When I found out that she died a week before, I broke down crying in front of my girlfriend. I had no idea what was going on with her because I hadn't spoken to her in several years. My ex girlfriend looked offended, didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. Later when we finally talked she told me that "men don't cry" and "how can I be with a man let alone respect a man who cries". Suffice it to say I kicked her out, told her she had until midnight to get all of her stuff out of my home. Her friends are telling me I'm a jerk, and my friends tell me I need to give her another chance.

Am I wrong here for breaking it off?

[ShellyB]

If it happened the way you said, then you should not be w her in my opinion and, she needs to do some self examination.

Now, I can imagine if things are a little different than what you said, and if her quote isn’t exactly what you said, there could be a version of this that doesn’t make her sound as bad. But if it’s exactly like you said, she has some kind of problem or maybe she was about to break up w you anyway and that was just the excuse.

I am really sorry about your mom’s death by the way :(

JMO!

Also this is the wrong place to ask this, but why do they have the AI posts now, what is the point of that.

[Asker]

Not a clue. I typically ignore the AI's

[dustybiker2]

I'm very sorry about your mother.


No. I do not think you are wrong at all. People need to connect on an emotional level for basic trust and respect. Two callous people can get on well. But mix them and this happens.


Even if that was the only time in your life that you broke down, it was 1) a legitimate reason and 2) showed her character not supporting you in that devastating moment.


Get out there and find someone with compassion. She's waiting for you.

[AviatorTom]

You did the right thing. There's nothing wrong with crying, or having some other emotional reaction. Be glad you dumped her. There are other fish in the sea who won't act like she did. by the way, most women would be supportive, not dismissive, when they find out their partner just lost a parent.

[NamerOfStars]

Not in the least. She doesn't want a man, she wants a machine.

That's exactly the kind of woman who would see your relatively stoic underreaction to something gut-wrenching and then complain you have no feelings; such people are nowhere near mature enough to be in a relationship.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, let's untangle this emotional spaghetti, shall we? First off, your response to your mother's passing was not only perfectly human but also deeply moving. Grief knows no gender, and tears are a testament to love, loss, and the courage to express those feelings openly.

Now, onto your ex-girlfriend's reaction. Emotional support and understanding are non-negotiables in a relationship, much like respect and compassion. Her comments weren't just red flags; they were flashing neon signs saying "Empathy Not Found." Your decision to end things, given her inability to support you in a moment of profound vulnerability, sounds like you chose self-respect over settling for less.

As for the feedback from her friends and the pressure to reconsider, remember this: the foundation of a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding, not on outdated stereotypes of masculinity. You're not wrong for wanting a partner who stands with you, rain or shine.

Keep your head up, and your heart open. The right person will cherish your strength and your tears.

[DarkLegacy]

Good on you, and no you are not in the wrong. She is a awful person for what she said. It is also about time men stood up to toxic women and dropped them. Everyone normal cries when their loved ones die, there would be something wrong with them if they didn't. A bit like there is something wrong with your ex girlfriend

[Anonymous]

no you're not technically wrong but that's a hard lesson for many guys to learn

lesson being don't ever cry in front of a woman (doesn't matter who it is or what they say)

they can virtue signal all they want till the cows come home

[Anonymous]

No I feel you were right. She seems immature, disloyal and unsupportive. Better you know now.
And her friends - people that she chooses to be in her life - are not helping either
If you see value in a future relationship with her is up to you but for now you do you and pick up whatever pieces are left later.

[Akam93]

Don't listen to her. She sounds like a bitch. She obviously wouldn't care if her parents died. Men are always be shamed for being unmanly when they cry. Which is not true it shows us you have genuine feelings.

[handsomelad70]

Well, at least tell her it's natural for a man to sob at family's and friends' passing, and if she continues to think you less than manly, leave her.(Is she black, because lots of black women behave like that?)

[SotiCoto]

You made the right choice. Good for you!

Both your friends and her friends are wrong. No second chances. What she said was unacceptable.

[DishLady]

Um… what’s wrong with her? That’s your mom. Block and lose her contact info.

[spartan55]

Man, fuck that. I would have physically tossed her ass on the front lawn.

[EmmaMary]

Some lovely, sympathetic and understanding girlfriend you have there.

[Anonymous]

No. Block, delete, remove. Never see, talk or go near her again is the way to go about this. But also be sure to forgive her of her transgressions as part of your moving on.

[Bricealan]

You should have kicked her to the curb, how insensitive is this woman?

[noohair]

I cried when my parents died. You did nothing out of normal. She, on the other hand, is weird.

[Aubrey97]

No. She sucks. Good job booting her out.

[jahaims]

She is a monster