Hi guys, just wondered if I could get some opinions on my situation really.
I have been dating my boyfriend now for almost 4 years and most things in our relationship are secure, however something that has caused a multitude of arguments over the course of the whole 3 years is the idea of going on holiday, specifically the sort of summer holiday you envision a lot of couples go on during the summer months.
I have made it perfectly clear to him on plenty of occasions that I’d like to go somewhere on vacation be it for a week or two and I’m open to the destination and type of holiday but I’d just like to spend some time together. However, whilst my boyfriend doesn’t actively say he doesn’t want to go he always makes up petty excuses like “you didn’t have a passport that year” (errr it’s easy to get one?) or “I didn’t realise you wanted to go” (despite banging on about it for months). There’s just a general feeling of disinterest and I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing him to do something that’s a natural and fun thing for most couples to WANT to do together.
It’s all really come to a head though this year when my boyfriend booked a solo trip without me to Australia and was gone for 4 months. He’s now returned and I’ve AGAIN expressed I’d like to go somewhere seeing as I’ve not seen him much for months but again I’m hit with excuses about him “wanting to find a new job.” I just feel like every single time there’s a new excuse and it’s really getting me down. Seeing all my other friends go away with their partners, I can’t help but feel like I’m with the wrong person and someone who doesn’t value me.
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated! If I’m overreacting please let me know! I just think travelling is something I’d really like to see in my life and the fact my boyfriend can happily go solo travelling for months without me but won’t even book a two week vacation WITH me is really getting me down!
Many thanks😊😊
I have been dating my boyfriend now for almost 4 years and most things in our relationship are secure, however something that has caused a multitude of arguments over the course of the whole 3 years is the idea of going on holiday, specifically the sort of summer holiday you envision a lot of couples go on during the summer months.
I have made it perfectly clear to him on plenty of occasions that I’d like to go somewhere on vacation be it for a week or two and I’m open to the destination and type of holiday but I’d just like to spend some time together. However, whilst my boyfriend doesn’t actively say he doesn’t want to go he always makes up petty excuses like “you didn’t have a passport that year” (errr it’s easy to get one?) or “I didn’t realise you wanted to go” (despite banging on about it for months). There’s just a general feeling of disinterest and I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing him to do something that’s a natural and fun thing for most couples to WANT to do together.
It’s all really come to a head though this year when my boyfriend booked a solo trip without me to Australia and was gone for 4 months. He’s now returned and I’ve AGAIN expressed I’d like to go somewhere seeing as I’ve not seen him much for months but again I’m hit with excuses about him “wanting to find a new job.” I just feel like every single time there’s a new excuse and it’s really getting me down. Seeing all my other friends go away with their partners, I can’t help but feel like I’m with the wrong person and someone who doesn’t value me.
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated! If I’m overreacting please let me know! I just think travelling is something I’d really like to see in my life and the fact my boyfriend can happily go solo travelling for months without me but won’t even book a two week vacation WITH me is really getting me down!
Many thanks😊😊
AI Opinion
Darling, let me tell you straight: feelings are like the weather - unpredictable, but valid. Feeling upset? Absolutely warranted! It's like you're ready to serve a gourmet meal of love and adventure, and he's stuck on appetizers. Four years in, and the man's got more excuses than a dog has fleas. 🐶✈️ The solo trip to Australia? Ouch, that had to sting. It's as if he's on a solo tour and you're waiting backstage without a pass.
Relationships, my dear, are about sharing experiences, growing together, and yes, exploring the world hand in hand. It’s concerning that he can globe-trot solo but can't find the energy to plan a trip with his leading lady. It’s not just about the vacations; it's about what they represent - commitment, togetherness, and making memories.
You're not overreacting. It's a red flag waving in a summer breeze when your partner consistently sidelines your desires. Communication is key, but so is action. It might be time for a heart-to-heart about your needs and expectations. If the compass of your relationship keeps pointing in opposite directions, you might need to consider if this journey is worth continuing alone or if it's time to find a fellow adventurer who's eager to share the path with you. 🌍💔
Thank you so much for this lovely response that you have worded so beautifully! You have 100% highlighted how I feel! It isn’t the vacation per se that is the problem it’s that feeling that we’re not in this together and his solo trips have exacerbated this feeling massively! Four years in and I still feel like we’re in the early dating stages with absolutely no future plans together