Girlfriends brother died, how do I help her?

[Anonymous]

My Girlfriend of 7 months brother died before I knew her. And the day he died is coming up at the end of sept.it happen 3 years ago. And she is getting really Depressed, sad, gets mad at me for little things, but then says she's sorry, she's thinking about her brother. she worned me that she gets sad around this time. But I'm not really sure how to deal with it, I understand why she gets like this but I don't know what to say because I never knew him. what do you say to some one that there brother died and I never knew him? And I live 100 miles away, so can't just be there for her have to talk to her.

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

That's a hard one to deal with because some people would want to be alone when going through that, and some would fake like they want to be alone and really want you to be there for them.

If I were you I would make extra effort to be there to support her, and try to be positive when talking to your lady. Maybe try to help her not dwell on him not being here, instead try to help her remember all the good things about her brother and how those things live on forever. You can try and show her that the best way to show your love for someone that is gone, is to let all the good things that they brought to the world live on through your actions.

[acka72]

All you can do is be there for her when she calls you on the phone. However, don't allow her to insult you. You are not her punching bag regardless of what has happened to her. You can do this nicely and say to her, "sweety, I love you and I know that you don't mean what you are saying, but please stop saying those things cause they hurt.". She has to know that you should be respected regardless of what goes on in her life.

[kmhco]

Just be patient with her. If she wants to talk about it, listen and just show her that you care. Don't pressure her though.