How should you react when your husband calls you fat?

Question

There are couple of dresses I don't feel confident wearing anymore because of my husband's implications about me being fat. I am overweight, but he knows that my insecurities and he says things like "maybe you should consider changing this outfit, because it makes you look more fat than usual". How should I react to this?

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Ok so on the one hand it’s pretty good to have someone tell you “Hey babe not that dress… other stuff looks better on you…” or “Sweetie you’re wearing one black shoe and one tan shoe….”

However guys tend not to talk the way we always need them to… so what comes out is the abbreviated “No, that looks bad…” or “You look fat” 🙄. Though it’s usually well intended it tends to crush our precious feminine feelings….

Have a sit down with your man and let him know he’s stepping on your feelings and ask him to restate in a different way. BUT try to appreciate his honesty also.

(As regards the dresses in question, if you’re in love with them, stick them in the back of the closet and give yourself a few months to slim down so they fit you again. I had a couple of blouses I had to do that to bc part of the year then wear them again in the summer when I’m slimmer and walking/hiking more.)

IF HE IS NOT WELL INTENTIONED and is just calling you FAT, however, this is a different issue and he’s being toxic so you have to sit with him and ask him to either be more considerate or to take a hike.

naartjie · Accepted Answer

You need to workout and eat better. You said you’re overweight, some serious health concerns from that.
Your husband could talk about it differently, men tend to not know how to speak softly or kindly to their wives.
I’d hate to be married to someone overweight only because I’d worry about heart health, if we have kids I want them to play and do activities with them and me… there’s a lot that comes with being overweight and it’s not fair to your partner or kids or YOURSELF.
You are worthy of looking good and being healthy, put yourself first and look after yourself

Pegases · Accepted Answer

Thing is, if you are fat, he didn't lie to you, which is what you want from someone that loves you. However, it sounds like he could have been more considerate of how being fat makes you feel. I have a question, is he fat? I ask because if he is, then he is likely calling you fat to intentionally hurt your feelings in an effort to make himself feel better. people that deal with the same obstacles you do, are more considerate. that's being said, communication is always the solution. Tell him that he is hurting your feelings in the way he expresses himself to you. If he loves you, he will make an effort to be more considerate.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Take his comment for what it is. Do you think you're fat? If so, try to lose weight. Maybe you can say something like, "Honey, I'd like to lose some weight. Can you help me with that?" and then work out something together... maybe no more sweets in the house? less eating out? More fruit in the house? Important thing is to do it together.

Caveat: If he's not interested in helping you lose weight, then simply tell him, "If you're not willing to help me lose weight, then you have no right to call me fat. Shut up!"

Sometimes, tough love is needed.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Don’t react just discuss.

ask what he was trying to accomplish in saying that.

add something like “well now i know I’m human.”

and add “humans have fat. Fat is not some man made thing, or something from another planet, it’s a common part of animals and humans.”

If he wants you to be healthy or lose weight, give it a try, but maybe consider someone else cause saying it that way doesn’t motivate or give any plan of action. It’s just kind of stating something in an obnoxious kind of way.

Bethany22 · Answer

To him, the best way to be helpful to you to reduce your insecurities is just to give you a logical solution to the issue. He really sincerely thinks that that's going to make you feel better. So when he says that, make him feel as though he has been helpful and tell him how that's a really good idea that he has, and that you're glad he's there to help you. Cause he wouldn't be with you if he didn't want you.

coachTanthony · Answer

Stop being overweight and he won't call you fat.

Apple1996 · Answer

Find a new husband 🤷‍♀️

blunty · Answer

When your husband calls you "fat," it really stings. It's tough to hear something like that from someone you love and trust. Here’s a heartfelt approach on how to handle this situation:

First, it’s totally okay to be upset. Such a comment can be shocking and painful. Allow yourself a moment to feel those emotions—it’s completely valid. When you’re ready, sit down with him and explain how his words made you feel. Approach the conversation with “I” statements to keep it about your feelings rather than placing blame. You could say something like, “I felt really hurt when you called me fat.”

It’s also important to let him know that comments like these are hurtful and not okay. Talk about why respect is crucial in your communication and establish what is not acceptable to say. His comment was out of line, but trying to understand why he said it might uncover other issues or feelings he’s holding onto. Ask him gently about what led to that remark. This isn’t about justifying his words but understanding the context. Suggest ways you both can communicate that strengthen your bond. It’s vital to support and uplift each other, and this includes being sensitive about topics like body image.

If these hurtful interactions are frequent, it might be helpful to speak with a counselor. They can guide you through communication improvements or deeper issues in the relationship. Regardless of how the discussion goes, prioritize your well-being. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and do things that boost your confidence.

Addressing this issue calmly and thoughtfully can lead to deeper understanding and a stronger partnership. Remember, everyone deserves to be spoken to with respect and kindness.

Billlewis · Answer

Put on your skimpiest outfit and shake your sexy fat butt right in his face -- and then announce that since he's so disenchanted with your figure, he can start channeling that disenchantment into masturbation for the next month, because you have a 'No Sex' policy that you enforce on guys who don't appreciate your plump, curvaceous form... I'm getting turned on just thinking about you, because virtually every woman who I've heard called fat has turned out to be absolutely gorgeous, whenever I've been able to see a picture of her.

acoustic · Answer

If your husband playfully calls you "fat," it's important to think about how that makes you feel. If it stings a bit, it's perfectly okay to tell him directly. You could say something like, "I know you meant that in fun, but it hurts my feelings a bit." This kind of open communication can help him understand where you're coming from and be more thoughtful in the future. It's all about setting clear boundaries in a gentle way, ensuring that the humor between you stays fun and doesn't cross into being hurtful.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

You're fat... do something about it instead of trying to justify it and just stay fat... or get fatter.

You fucking fatty McFat wobbling your way around. Gawd you're fat. Do you weigh more than him? That shouldn't be the case.

How should you react when your husband calls you fat?

How about this... stop getting fat and being fat. Try it out... see if you like it.

HappyWoman34 · Answer

It’s possible that he’s trying to help. You know guys, they’re often pointing out things to us women that we wish they wouldn’t. On the off chance that he’s bullying you, just tell him something about his body that he’s insecure about. Eg. his belly, his receding hairline, his size or lack of size anywhere.

mobiusforniner · Answer

You don’t react. Reacting is an emotional and often irrational way of dealing with conflict. Instead, you respond. Have you expressed how his calling you fat, is hurtful? If so, and he continues to make such comments, it’s a reflection upon his character and not yours

DrPepper12 · Answer

Slap his face and kick him in the nutz!!!

Seriously, to avoid arguments I ALWAYS ask "Do you want me to listen or do you want me to solve?" ALWAYS works. She stops to reflect on objective and I know my role.

If he's doing it to be cruel or shame you then reverse your thinking. He's concerned about your health and maybe you should do more exercise TOGETHER and go shopping TOGETHER.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Tell him to stop don't ask. Stick up for yourself and if he doesn't quit, he is an asshole, and set up a therapy session, because you're going to need someone's help.

People that treat their spouse irritate me. You have to stick up for yourself.

genericname85 · Answer

probably work out, diet and lose some weight, cause chances are if you husband calls you fat, you are actually fat. like your insecurities come from you being fat. not from your husband calling you out on it. so go fix that so you can stop being insecure.

noohair · Answer

It sounds like your weight issue embarrasses him. I have battled food addiction since my youngest memories. I know that certain foods have a mild allergic reaction in me that make me puff up and make me look bloated and fatter. I endeavor to keep those foods out of my life. They are comfort foods but they are bad for me.

Juxtapose · Answer

Why are you with someone who is not even attracted to you? He doesn't have emotional intelligence either or he would handle this with a lot more tact. I am autistic and I could handle that situation way better than him.

dustybiker2 · Answer

They wouldn't be so insensitive.

With yours its something that bothers him but he lacks the social graces to go about mentioning his problems in a kind way.
Suggest some shared regular activities? Meet him halfway?

uniquelyshy · Answer

Be like " okay and, you chose me. It's a done deal now.

Cheesepizza123 · Answer

Personally i would not like it if someone called me fat. You should stay calm and confront him that it bothers you. I think the tone used is really important like was it serious or just a joke although, once or twice is fine but seriously if its more you should definitely say something. I'm sure he's not going to like it if you said the same thing. Instead of calling you fat, he should be supportive, encouraging and should help you.

JacobJordan · Answer

You should be happy that he wants you too look good and is willing to risk upsetting you to inform you that the particular dress is unflattering. Also could use that as motivation to work out. So you can wear those dresses.

AngelBritney · Answer

It hurts me but I started loosing weight for my sake AND to avoid such comments from him. If he calls me fat, I ignore it.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

Probably talk about how that doesn't make you feel good.  If it continues then is the relationship worth that?

Vampirelover_12 · Answer

Dump him. It's highly likely he's a shallow pig who concern trolls.

Makeushiver · Answer

Well I'm sure he is perfect. Find out how he reacts when you call him stupid

Nerdvana · Answer

Just curious, other than the comments about your weight. How is he otherwise? Is he usually sweet towards you?

Jackblue · Answer

Tell him that married couples shouldn't put each other down, how would he feel if you told him he has a small penis.

_piotr · Answer

If you think he is right, try to lose weight.

Texaskid1 · Answer

Put the cookie down and get on the treadmill.

DreamLife7 · Answer

He doesn't like you lol 😆. It's not rocket science. Either shut up or leave and lose weight. Stop coming on here bitching for sympathy

Vegasrunner · Answer

you should start dieting and exercising immediately. Why would a husband want a fat wife?

KelsoAlexander · Answer

Lmao probably look at the mirror and go eh maybe you're right let go work out together and make him regret his words.

MrDaveAPSI · Answer

Why should you care what he says. As long as you like you, that's what matters!

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You're not "fat", your just a "whole lotta woman"! 😂

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Reaction recommended: lose weight?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Dump his pathetic ass.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Take his advice and thank him for his honesty.

Bricealan · Answer

Head butt him, and fracture his skull

unknownuser555 · Answer

I think you should sit on his face lol

Anonymous · Answer

Call him as a thin guy

nawtee_me · Answer

With a right hook to the jaw….

Shy_Steve · Answer

Call him Ugly.

thisAppIsGarbage · Answer

Go for a walk or exercise my fat ass

Anonymous · Answer

Fuck you.

MacDaddyRico · Answer

Lose weight

How should you react when your husband calls you fat?

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How should you react when your husband calls you fat?

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