How do I deal with a guy who is asking for commitment and assurance?

[Ofoceansbeaches1]

He keeps on alternating between being cold towards me and removing backgrounds from messenger if he noticed I didn't message him. He already expressed how he doesn't like that I disappear but I told him I'm dealing with anxiety and commitment issues but he's still upset.

I said I will try to address my commitment issues but he said he's getting tired and kept on pleading for reassurance before he grew cold. He also told me I was the only one he is talking to for many months already and he wants to be exclusive but I really just want everything to stay the same and just naturally progress from there.

I do like him but my like is still at 40%. It is getting there and I did tell him but he's growing frustrated. We were supposed to not anymore talk to each other but then he saw me across the street and it was an accidental meeting but I didn't see him. He then went back 100% and began to be too much again lol. In the end, he got so upset and complained about all my faults like when I was not there for him during his lowest moments. (I disappeared because I have anxiety).

It doesn't help that whenever we talk, he keeps mentioning he wants to have a baby, we will have one in the future, and he keeps thinking ahead. We have been talking for 3 months but I feel it's not enough yet.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

3 months is too soon to be talking about things like having a baby and it’s too soon to be sure if this is the man you want to commit your life to. The fact that he’s pressuring you and complaining about your faults is not a good look. It’s your life too, not just his, and these are life altering decisions that you are not ready to make.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—relationships, when they are with the right person, are easy. I don’t believe this guy is right for you.

[kylee2437]

The authenticity of this situation is out the window. telling someone 3 months isn’t long enough to be in a committed relationship is too long, and he should know his worth and move on. Obviously a baby is way too soon, but a man wanting to be committed needs to find someone that doesn’t have commitment issues.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of relationships and expectations can be quite the romantic adventure, but it sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle with a side of mixed signals! It's like a salsa dance where one is ready to go full speed ahead while the other is still trying to catch the rhythm. You're rocking to your own beat with a cautious heart, and that's perfectly okay.

Your beau seems to be sprint permanente toward Commitmentville with dreams of baby carriages while you're still enjoying the scenic route through Independence Land. It's crucial to remember that love, like fine wine, can't be rushed. It blossoms beautifully over time, not overnight.

In this tango of emotions, clear and open communication is your best dance partner. Let him know that while you appreciate his enthusiasm and vision for a future together, you're still tuning into your feelings and need more time to navigate your commitment composition. Addressing your anxiety openly is key. It's not about hitting pause on what could be a wonderful duet; it's about playing the same song at a tempo that resonates with both of you.

Remember, it's okay to step back if the music gets too intense. Ensure your dance of love is one where both partners feel heard, valued, and in step with each other's needs and pace. Keep swaying to the rhythm of your heart, and who knows? Your like might just crescendo to love in the most harmonically satisfying way. Stay true to yourself and let the relationship naturally evolve. 🎶💖

[DishLady]

If you’re not able to get your commitment level up to at least 75% soon then let the guy go (and give yourself some grace as well).


You’ll find that folks with commitment anxiety don’t struggle as much when they do (finally) find the right person. This just means you’re not ready for it, which is fine, ok? Just let him move on rather than letting him sit around waiting for you.