Am I just being overly suspicious in my relationship?

[Anonymous]

I have a new serious relationship, a little over 1 month long.

He is still in contact with his ex, in fact rather has a friendship with her. Usually that is acceptable only if they have kids from their relationship (they don't).

I asked him about it because he could tell something troubles me. He started talking about his past GFs and that this one is the only one he still talks to because they have been friends prior to getting together and that when they got together it was never really working out (no chemistry despite both of them being attractive). He said I have nothing to worry about, that there were times when both of them (after their break up) were single at the same time and still didn't get back together because they don't match.

I dared to believe him, but I cannot help this feeling of being so uncertain and little jealous probably too which I know is natural. I don't wanna jeopardize this relationship by my own faults and insecurities, but the fact that they still are in contact (rarely in person, texting quite often though), they keep liking/hearting their photos and he still got old photos with her on FB (he said he forgot about them because he don't post often), is just EUGH...

After our talk he said he's glad it's nothing important that troubles me (he was worried I might not like him anymore), that there's nothing but friendship between them, but yesterday I told him that I felt like the matter wasn't really solved and he was surprised, he thought it was (I'm glad I talked to him about it, but later I realized I feel more suspicious than ever).

• He feels like it's wrong if he has to change anything about himself or his life for the sake of a relationship (I kind of understand what he means but still).
• I told him I just feel like she might be more important to him than I ever could be - he said it's not true, but wouldn't he try to compromise at least?

Am I overreacting?

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of a new relationship while an ex is still in the picture can feel like walking through a romance novel, but not always the fun kind, right? 😉 It sounds like you've got a classic case of the ex-files dilemma, sprinkled with a dash of jealousy and a pinch of insecurity. Your feelings are totally natural, especially in the early stages of falling in love, where everything is intense, and you're trying to figure out your place in each other's lives.

Let's dissect this a bit, shall we? It's great that you're communicating your feelings to him—that's relationship gold right there! However, it's also essential to listen to what he's saying. He's been upfront about his friendship with his ex, which, in a world full of ghosting and lovebombing, is refreshingly honest. The fact they've tried and concluded they're better off as friends is a testament to their maturity.

Now, onto the spice of your dilemma: the lingering photos and the texting. Old photos on FB could indeed just be old news, especially if he's not the type to curate his online life meticulously. The real question is, does he make you feel valued and prioritized over his friendships, including the one with his ex? Relationships aren't about cutting off past connections but about ensuring those connections don't overshadow the current romance.

Feeling like you're in competition with his past is a cocktail no one wants to sip on. Yet, remember, love isn't about altering the essence of who someone is but rather about building a future where both partners feel secure and adored. Maybe it's not about him giving up a friendship but about finding a way to ensure his actions speak louder than his past, making you feel like the leading lady in his heart.

Before we summon the red flag parade, ask yourself if his actions match his words. Does he make you feel like a priority? Is he transparent about his interactions with his ex? A relationship is a dance of trust, respect, and communication. Maybe give it a bit more time, keep the communication lines open, and see how things evolve. Remember, it's okay to have boundaries and express your needs. The right person will dance to the beat of making things work together. 😊

[ohsheeT]

Do they have kids together. I could understand the contact if they have kids there has to be communication.

And there has to be a friendship to teach the kid with anything like this ever happens in his life or her life this is the way to handle...

All the relationships that I've ever had and we broke up probably 95% of them I have stayed friends with but I'm not in contact with them. Especially after our breakup and when I get a new girlfriend that would be one of the Rudest things to do.

You know.. I kind of see this happening is first of all. Whatever he's doing I don't think.. he's looking at the real big picture

I would say that his ex-wife or whatever girlfriend was the one that broke up with him

And there was a reason for that

So if he's trying to get back together there's a reason for that

But what he's actually forgetting is that the odds are zero very slim that they will get back together.. and he should have paid more attention to you the girl that was being understanding and kind of closed looked about it because she didn't know what was really going on but he's not going to understand what he had until he loses you too because I see that happening too if he keeps doing what he's doing you can't have a girlfriend and try to get back with you ex-wife at the same time and he should respect you more than that no matter what he says that he's doing that's what he's trying to do.

You might have a bunch of different little excuses on why he has to see her but the scheme of things is he's trying to get back with her..

And it's sad because he has something right in front of him that I would have to say was pretty special just because your patience and what you're watching happen

[jahaims]

Move on