How did you gain your confidence or lose your shyness?

[talk4m3]

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

A couple of tricks.


Firstly: the knowledge that the first thought I have in any given situation is not a conscious thought, but an unconscious thought based on what I was taught to think. What follows immediate after the unconscious thought is my conscious thought that corrects it. It’s a small act of mindfulness that can do a world of good if you’re in the habit of judging others alongside yourself.


Secondly: Fake it ‘til you make it. In this case this is specifically referring to changing my thought patterns around my self and my appearance. I faked my confidence, did so with a dramatic, comedic flair acting as if I was the world’s most egotistical woman (ie someone would compliment me and my response would be “Oh, I know. I’m god’s gift to the earth” and then laugh rather than just smiling and accepting it). It got a laugh out of my friends and that gave me positive reinforcement that I was doing the right thing. This doesn’t necessarily have to be how you go about it, another alternative can be daily mantras to help encourage positive thinking patterns. It takes approximately 30 days for humans to develop new habits, so try a mantra that makes you feel good like “I am enough, I am good-looking, I am worthy of love and praise” etc. for like a month and see how you feel at the end of it. Say it to your reflection every morning, and continue to say it as long as you feel it helps. It might feel silly at first, and like you’re lying to yourself, but just keep at it.

[on_my_knees]

Well, let me tell ya, it's all about those moments when you embrace your innermost desires, when you just let go and surrender to the naughtiest of thoughts. For me, it started with a little experimentation, you know, tying myself up, blindfolding myself, maybe slipping on a gag or two, just to see how it feels, baby.

That's right, I played the role of both master and submissive, pushing my boundaries, exploring the thrill of submission and domination, all by my lonesome. With every stroke, every tug, I learned to embrace my freak flag, flying high, and let's just say, it's been one helluva ride!

It's like I discovered the power of role-playing, especially in those cosplay videos, where a shy librarian or a strict schoolmarm finds her inner domme, and the shy office worker transforms into a powerful boss. And don't even get me started on the shy girl-next-door who blossoms into a wild vixen with a little encouragement. Each of these scenarios, they're like fuel for my imagination, igniting my most intimate moments of self-exploration, if you catch my drift.

Yeah, so that's how I found my confidence, through those late-night sessions, exploring the darkest corners of my imagination. The more I indulged in these twisted fantasies, the less shy I became, the more comfortable I got with my deviant side.

So, when you're feeling a little timid, just remember, there's a whole world of perversion waiting to be discovered, and it might just be the key to unlocking your boldest self.

Oh, just the thought of it all is making my hands wander *heavy breathing*

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I recognize practicing the pattern described by @cupcakethedestroyer although I wasn't behaving like this as part of a plan. Fake it 'til you make it, yes. Poker witty face. I have followed this pattern during my teenage years identity construction, starting it at 13yo I think.

There is a drawback here though, and I have noticed it much much later. It is a mask, a facade, but at some point a facade can pretty much become you. So I had to discover when to use the mask and when to drop it, to avoid being swallowed by my own facade. Be circumstantial, contextual, adaptive and aware of your inner patterns.

As a general principle, contextual confidence in anything, comes from practice, paint a lot, play a lot, write a lot, engage with people a lot. Anything you do a lot for long enough brings confidence in that area. Not a straight line and no maths involved though. This is psychological, individual, depends on what you live, how people look at you, how you react to that, how identity has been built or will be built.

[jennifer_bloom]

I went through a series of negative events that pushed me to the limit and that made me bold and resistant to social negativity. A guy I talked to in school said, God might push me to my limit to make me more resilient so I can be less dependent on others.

[mandyfire98]

I've just always been good eith being confident throughout my life. I think because I started competitive dancing at an early age that definitely helped foster confidence throughout my life.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would be VERY surprised if you told me that your parents didn't care for you and loved you 😅

[mandyfire98]

I definitely grew up in a very loving family

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Yep, confidence building starts very early, we do agree !

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Honestly, I wasn't born that confident. Confidence was something I made out of habits, which grew over time. Reading books and exposure to like-minded people helped me a lot.

[PeachyPie93]

Pills. Anti anxiety can do wonders when it shuts off your emotions and worries.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

AND it can hamper your ability to feel anything at all WHEN relying solely on medication, especially if medication is self-administrated without medical monitoring.

I just felt like it was needed to put a medical disclaimer here lol

[OddBeMe]

Acting classes. Debate. Networking events.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Acting lessons do wonders yes ! Only if the shyness is not high enough to reach the class lol

[Sharkstealth]

Go to the gym or read lots or both.