How would you cope with insecurity if you found out all of your partner’s exes were hotter than you?

Question

Let’s say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and most of her ex’s and romantic or sexual partners look like models… And you are just average, what now? How do you believe he/she truly likes you and do you get self conscious as to why does he like you? Would you feel bad knowing you are not his type?

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Wouldn’t seem like they’d NEED to be with me, they’re actively choosing to be with me, so that in and of itself would be reassuring. Also, I think I’m fairly presentable looking, certainly not gracing any magazine covers, you won’t confuse me with a model…. but it’s not like I’m a 2/10, lmao, where I’d be like “wait, what? Is this a dream?”😂 I’d think I was outkicking my coverage, for sure, but I wouldn’t think I was on an episode of Punk’d or anything, haha

integrale77 · Accepted Answer

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I have met 2 of my girlfriends ex's I have no worries one is fat and a bit loopy while the other is younger but looks much older than me.

She hasn't met my ex but has seen pictures of her and my ex has gone heavily into fitness and looks super butch so she doesn't feel threatened.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

what does it mean "hotter"? that I perceive them like that? or do others talk about them like that?

in general, I don't compare... people to other people and myself to people... it doesn't make any sense...

so I don't cope... the exes are in the past, he is mine now :D

MoonFace2 · Accepted Answer

I’d just accept it. If he chose not to be with me, there’s nothing I can do to change that by trying to control him. I’d trust him until being given a reason to do otherwise and I’d thank my lucky stars there wasn’t a more serious issue, like his deciding he prefers men.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As your relationship guru, I'm here to sprinkle a little confidence magic on this! Remember, they chose you, not the runway models in their past. 🧙‍♂️ Attraction isn't just about appearances; it's about connection, humor, shared values, and that spark that makes them smile like a love-struck goofball. If they’re into you, there's something special you've captured beyond looks. Don't fall into the insecurity trap, because you've got that unique vibe that’s irresistible! Besides, charm beats smize any day! 😉

AviatorTom · Answer

I wouldn't be insecure at all. After all those exes, she chose me, and that's what's really important.

Finchie40 · Answer

Whether they are hotter or not , they still chose you and that’s all that matters , an ex is an ex for a reason , if they were so great they would t be an ex period

mandyfire98 · Answer

I don't think I'd care overall but maybe a little bit might creep into my mind but at the end of the day I would still get passed the thought.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I’ve never personally felt this way but the fact that your partner is not with them anymore and now they’re with YOU, should be enough to keep you secure. If you weren’t good enough then they wouldn’t be with you to begin with.

And honestly thinking otherwise shows that you’re too insecure for a relationship to begin with and you need to work on yourself.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I don't know.. I probably would be insecure.. and just would keep him at arms length. I feel guys like that are just settling for me because the hot girls tend to have shitty personalities.. it almost feels like when you get picked last on a sports team.

Anonymous · Answer

You shouldn't assume that your partner's exes were his type and you aren't. That MAY be true, but it's just as possible that it isn't the case. I've had several exes that weren't my exact type. If I started dating a girl who was EXACTLY my type, she would see that almost all of my exes had bodies that were very different from hers, but it would be wrong to presume she isn't my type.

superchan2011 · Answer

I would look at it this way. Even if I thought my past girlfriends exes looked better than me she chose to be with me instead of still staying with them for a reason. I obviously had something to me that they didn't that she fell for. I felt like I was just average, but to her I was the bees knees. So just try to see it that way. He still picked you, so you must have something to you that he didn't see in the other women.

Ironic_Method · Answer

I've had a few partners say they feel insecure based on previous partners despite being attractive themselves and the best way I can comfort them is reminding them that yes I have high standards and they fit into those standards. Ultimately it doesn't matter because at that moment I'm with them and any prior relationship doesn't mean anything.

nawtee_me · Answer

If you two are together than he puts you in the same category as those exes which may or may not be a good thing since they are exes…. Maybe he found that those models don’t have a personality or a brain so he gave them up for something better, for you….

Josey29 · Answer

Hot scale test...

10 looks usually means 10 crazy.

Be less crazy and you win!

I'm joking, I'm sure if she was a good person he'd still be with her. seeing someone's true colors can make them ugly fast. 🩷

Anonymous · Answer

Attraction is very subjective that might be just be in your head, but obviously you have to weigh another factors, is she fucking me non-stop or am I the nice guy that she is trying to settle down with, does she talk to her friends about me, am I on her social media or my merely somebody that she goes on trips with post things about, but you never really see the guy. Too much to factor in, but attraction itself is very subjective..

Still-alive · Answer

i don't care she's an ex for a reason. i suspect they'll have the same issues with her that i did lol

Goahead76 · Answer

I would assume it meant the relationship was probably built on substance rather than superficial nothing.

Fireguy17 · Answer

well for 1 thing they are with me, not them.
Looks aren't everything.
I have found out as I get older that I really have to like the person that I am with.
Like Judge Judy would say, beauty fades, dumb is forever.

Account · Answer

I dont compare myself to people in that way. I have different metrics within myself, but not with others. It is not something that I do and to me it is nonsense. My mind goes null. I just can't do it.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Maybe don’t ask about your partner’s exes if you’re going to be that insecure. That part of their past is over and you are currently their present and hopefully their future.

MrCharlie13 · Answer

Therapy. Quickest and most helpful way of dealing with these kind of self-made issues. You can try self-help groups too

RingOfFire · Answer

Nahhhh... There's so much more to real love than just looks. Unfortunately some people go through their whole lives never experiencing real love. And you don't even recognize what it is until you have it.

7Phoenix7 · Answer

You think they are hotter than you. He doesn't lol In his eyes you are just as hot or even hotter probably.

Bricealan · Answer

We ALL have that to deal with... A one time girlfriend (of and on) dated better looking men that I... I just went with the flow.

SuckOnThisOpinion · Answer

You could, for instance, become extremely confident about your internal qualities.

Shortkay4568 · Answer

Maybe you just have the hottest factor and their body's mean nothing

NathanDavis · Answer

that doesn't bother me at all... it really doesn't matter, lol

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I just wouldn't think about it. There's a reason that she's not dating them anymore. It's best not to dwell on things like that

Pete671 · Answer

I'd actually feel secure that she wants to be with me as a partner, if she wanted to see others for recreational sex sometimes I'd be ok with that,,,

Nikki1989 · Answer

I am not that insecure to even care.

Radiate143 · Answer

I wouldn't have this problem. What do they have to do with me?

Notherndude84 · Answer

My partners ex in my view was more handsome, he was an alcoholic, abusive cheating a**hole. I think that put me ahead a bit in her eyes.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

I literally pay no attention to their pasts, none of my concern or of any interest to me. SO I never even find out or care to lol

KCgiggles · Answer

Do YOU think they're hotter than you, or did your partner TELL you, they're hotter than you?

LEGENDARY4200 · Answer

Fuck what everyone else thinks, there's only one me. Like me or not

Anonymous · Answer

I don't care if my exes new partners are more attractive than me. I more so feel bad for the sad fucker who has to put up with them. I'm sure they've been cheated on just like I was.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I'd assume she was sick of the glamour boys and wanted someone fierce.

TallAnon · Answer

No idea, but that can definitely not be the case with you; I've seen what you look like 😳

pacifix · Answer

Remind myself that she's with me and not them, and then pick her up and press her against the wall 😂

Smegskull · Answer

"Penis envy". It's called penis envy. You just learn to live with it over time.

daleblack0 · Answer

I've actually had this happen several times I was just blessed another areas

eagle1951 · Answer

they must not be or she would not be with me lol

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have a girlfriend yet, that's why I don't have to bother myself with that possibility.

Staximus · Answer

That is literally impossible

Anonymous · Answer

How does your partner look.

SlightlyMental · Answer

Attraction is not one dimensional.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

id probably break up tbh

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't give a ish about that.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

It’s never objective. Like Camila and Di

kaucky1 · Answer

They kick their own asses we not sexing now

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Hotter according to whom?

jahaims · Answer

By not being a moron

How would you cope with insecurity if you found out all of your partner’s exes were hotter than you?

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