Should I be offended when my boyfriend gives me suggestions about my appearance?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend never tells me I'm ugly, or fat. Well, I am attractive and thin so obviously he wouldn't do that. But he likes my hair curly, so when I curl it, he'll say "wow, you look hot like that. you should keep your hair curly!" and so if it's straight later he'll be like "maybe you should curl it sometime.". Also, when I wear baggy sweatpants, he says "Whatever happened to that cute pair of leggings you had?" He doesn't act like a jerk, he just tells me he likes certain clothes on me. For example he likes when I have a tan so when I'm looking pale he'll say, "Thought about getting a tan lately? (he means sunless tanning lotion, not a cancer tan) It looks hot on you." I know these are all compliments, but sometimes I worry that he doesn't like me the way I look normally. I asked him and he said "You could be pale as a sheet and I would still love you the same, I just think you look better with a little bit of color". He says the same thing about curling my hair, wearing certain outfits, etc. That he loves me, but he has a specific preference for these things. I love looking sexy for him, I just hope this is normal. Is it?

[jbone79]

I love this question. You gotta keep in mind this is essentially a double edged sword. If we don't say anything, then we as men will get the "I did my hair and you didn't even notice". I think it's nice that he takes interest in that stuff. I do the same thing, only I have learned that moderation is the key. If I like a certain hairstyle on my lady, I'm going to tell her. If I like a particular costume she picks out at old navy, I'll tell her. I like to think of it as a please don't let me wear stupid or hideous outfits and hairstyles contract. That's what a good relationship is! She watches my back and I watch hers, and we keep each other's closets free of turtleneck sweaters and mullet haircuts!

[Asker]

Haha I love that he watches out for me, I just wanted to make sure it is something he means as a good thing.

[Forgetable]

Don't worry, it sounds like he really likes the way you are or even loves it. Just to him touching up or wearing certain things or whatever are an added bonus, it's like makeup (in my opinion) it's not there to just gob on someone's face, it's to highlight, modify and make small adjustments too allow you ladies to enhance what you already have and make us even more attracted to you. As long as he doesn't start suggesting surgery, complete make over or anything like that you don't have anything to worry about.

Best of wishes to the two of you.

[yummymummyxXx]

my boyfriends like that he preferes me with my hair straight and a bit of colour but it just takes an extra 20mins in the morning to do it so I'm not bothered as I no I actualy do look better like that. if your not happy with it don't do it just do it occasionaly for him or for special occasions but only when you want to. and I'm shocked my boyfriend preferes me dressed down in a little top and jacket with jeans. whilst I prefere skirts.

[redheadbabygirl]

I think that's great that he cares enough to actually give you suggestions! what's bad is when boyfriends get so used to their girlfriend that they don't notice or care any more. When you get a nice new outfit, ask if he likes it, and he says "uh huh" and doesn't look, THEN you have a problem. Enjoy pleasing your boyfriend, and maybe start suggesting things for him to do too!

[Anonymous]

my guy is the same way, it doesn't bother me at all. I usually just save the things that make his mouth water for special occassions, even if I just make up the occassion, like "it's pudding day, so I decided to get dressed up, teehee" *insert flirty pose here*. that way it won't become just an everyday look and he won't get bored with it. :)

[postfacto]

this is a really good question and it seems like your attitude about it is good, especially if he is being nice about it as you say. as a guy, I'm sure he has a preference for certain things... you should want to know what turns him on, though he should not be too overbearing about it to the point that it seems like nagging. I'd say that as long as you are comfortable with who you are when you cater to his preferences, and as long as he is not pushing you too hard, that you are in good shape to just roll with it. consider it constructive communication for both of you.

[jessi02]

I wouldn't worry..he is telling you what he likes.For example my fiance tells me what he thinks looks better on me or what hairstyle he likes...but also thinks I'm beautiful even in sweats.Think of it as inside info and take notes...he loves you just being you.

[wicks22]

Yes, this is normal. When something looks good on you we like to let you know. It's not to say that other things or looks don't look good on you. It's just that certain things or looks makes us want to take you right then and there. I would say you are in good shape and your Boyfriend desires you. Consider yourself lucky!

[Tech21]

this is normal espcially since you said you like looking sexy for him but, try once and awhile telling himt o do something just to see if he'd do it even if you don't like it or not doing something he acts to see how he reacts anyway if he alrdy works with your suggestions id leave it at that since he's being nice about it

[attractiveontarioguy]

absolutely normal, 100%. he loves you for you, just likes to see you as sexy as you can be. and as for you, you want to be as sexy as ever but sometimes you just wan to RELAX. perfectly normal

[ALWAYSclassy]

If it bothers you say something. I don't think it is a serious problem but if you have a problem with his unsolicited advice tell him. Compliments are good though!

[ilya1music1]

It's rude for him to say that you should change it when you have it one way, but if he compliments you on it when you have it another way, you shouldn't be offended by it.