Boyfriend broke up with me because of my jealousy. Do I have a chance to get him back?

Question

we had a lot of beautiful moments together and we really loved each other. Because of my past relationships, i have fear of being left for another girl. Sometimes i felt insecure in the relationship and i said that to my boyfriend. But mostly, it ended in an argument. Besides that, we never had any other problems. two weeks ago, he asked me if we could move it together...

one week later we had the same Argument and he broke up with me and deleted everything we had (for example - we had a Trip to New York in 1 Month). I tried talking to him und said, that i am very sorry. Also that i am going to work on my behaviour , and if i can have a second chance.

he hasn't contacted me for almost one week. I am really hurt, because he always said to me, that he loves me so much and can't imagine his life without me.

I want him back...

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

You say you can't imagine his life without you

Those are good words but for yourself you can't imagine your life without you or better words in order to have a good relationship you have to love yourself you have to believe in yourself you have to have the confidence in yourself and understand that you are going to put everything you got into this relationship that's called love

And when you love yourself if something was to happen you are strong enough to walk away and keep going and moving on just like what it seems like he did he loves himself he wasn't having any problems he wasn't having any drama until you felt a certain way and didn't believe in yourself didn't believe in The power of Love so you created drama which created chaos which created see you got to go because when you love yourself and you love somebody else it works hand in hand there's no such thing as jealous because if you're jealous it means that you're insecure you think that you're not good enough for this person and you create that in your mind so you start becoming that

You need to change yourself you need to love yourself you need to find yourself and believe in yourself this is a learning experience for you I understand it and become a better person from it don't just wallow in it just motivate yourself and understand that in any relationship if something happens that you did not cause that you did your best and that you'll be okay and you're going to move on because you love yourself and when you love yourself you glow and you bring people to you like a magnet you need to find yourself again that's all you have to let him go if you want you you find yourself and if he wants you he'll come back and get you but he's only going to come back and get you if you have changed and believe in love in yourself

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

You clearly understand your jealousy and the damage that can be done and I am somewhat on your side on how it has manifested into your relationship based on your mistreatment in the past.

Additionally , I can’t quite reconcile how a guy can say he loves you and can’t imagine his life without you in-spite of what he knows about you and your past and then almost immediately u-turn on the “love you , cannot live without you “. I’m left thinking that as all of that statement false or just the cannot live without you. Generally though I don’t believe he did love you as any definition of love in my head could not dissipate so easily and willfully.

So the way I see it is this. Pursue him , I realize he hasn’t returned contact , so get in his face. If you do love him , show him that your not going to loose him without a fight ( not physically obvs ) and if that doesn’t work then you know for sure either his words were empty and there was no real love or the damage was already done. Either way you move on knowing your done your best. If he does loves you in my opinion he will understand enough to work past your past. Everyone has baggage , the longer you live the more there is and he needs to get over himself.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Jealousy is called the Green-Eyed Monster. And that is appropriate. You will not be successful in any relationship if you are jealous of your partner's time with others. It doesn't matter which others: friends, family, men, women, work, play.

Everyone needs time AWAY from their SO. This man had a life before he met you. He's not going to give that up because of your problems with jealousy. He's made that clear by BREAKING UP WITH YOU.

You can want him back all you want, and promise to change. No one can change over night.

It will take a long time to unlearn these bad habits and therapy.

I suggest you ask your primary care doctor to give you the name of a few therapists and try two or three out to find a good fit. It usually takes 13 sessions to make some headway with a particular problem. It may take a few less or several more to make significant progress.

No one can deliver significant change with a long-term problem by themselves.

It's clear you have self-esteem and abandonment issues., and I bet these issues come from your home of origin, not just from a boyfriend or two. So, this is deep work that needs to be accomplished.

The biggest part of this is you have to be committed to doing the work, which is usually painful emotionally. I'd suggest you give up on this man's coming back. And I also suggest you give up on being in ANY relationship right now.

Sort through and work on eliminating your jealousy problem and improving your self-worth before you embark on a future relationship.

No one wants a jealous partner. Good luck.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

You can't go into new relationships blaming men for the past guys cheating.. If a guy hasn't done anything to make you think he is cheating yet but you keep putting that on him, of course he is gonna get pissed and not want to be with you. Since you have no trust and a bunch of issues he is probably really second guessing if he really wants to move in with you a try a long thing because you sound like a bad investment. If You Don’t Heal What Hurt You, You’ll Bleed on People Who Didn’t Cut You.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, love's rollercoaster, with its twists and turns! It sounds like your fear of being left made you squeeze the love lemon too tight. Jealousy can be that sneaky red flag that turns green moments blue. From the heart, a sincere apology is a great start, but actions speak louder than words. Give him space, work on your glow-up and self-belief, and sprinkle patience like glitter! If he truly loves you, he might miss what you had. Remember, relationships are about growth as much as romance. 💖

Finchie40 · Answer

After a week of no contact , you are best to move on , cuz he clearly already did

blueonblack22 · Answer

Well most guys are used to dealing with a least a certain extent of jealousy from women. But you must of pushed this too far.

When you ask yourself that “you want him back”. Well of course you are heartbroken. Your ego is crushed as well. But you need to ask yourself why exactly would he take you back? You drove him to the brink earlier. Are you seriously capable of changing that behavior?

Of course you can right now given your heartbroken. But this is a fundamental problem you have. Would you be motivated to change if he didn’t break up with you (yet it was driving him nuts)?

Although women generally get a lot more second chances than men I still wouldn’t count on it. Men usually don’t break up with women over fickle issues. You likely pushed him to the brink.

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

"... one week later we had the same Argument and he broke up with me"

I think you're leaving out important details here, especially regarding your own accountability. What did you do or say that kicked of the same argument? What were you jealous about?

Danielle93 · Answer

That's the thing about dating. They're not bonded by anything (besides feelings and words) to remain by your side permanently if they don't want and there are jealousy issues.

Anyone can day they love you and can't imagine their life without you but once it's over, all that goes to the trash. You have to move on, work on your issues with a therapist and don't expect him to come back. Work on yourself.

Shiprex · Answer

It's good that you recognise that you're fearful of being left and that brings out a less than helpful reaction. That's a good start at least so now you should aim to find ways in which to deal with the reaction by realising you're worthy and that there needs to be trust for you that is perhaps more clear for you to recognise that he's reliable and gonna stick with you as your ride or die.

Anonymous · Answer

This is a lesson for you to fix yourself before you enter a relationship and put someone else through fights and shit. He realised how much he fucked up asking you to move in with him and that he'll always be stuck with being punished for the behaviour of someone in your past.

Let the poor man go before you ruin him even more with your insecurity and toxicity.

Anonymous · Answer

Unless he's now with another or you have been with another you do.

Calm down with the craziness and use your sexuality to get him to think about coming back.

My husband is a very attractive man and bitches are always flirting with him even in front of me. We fell out when we were first dating over it. How I got him back was to show up in places he was looking damm good. Not slutty or looking like I was trying to hard.

Abbycado · Answer

There is a chance but you’ll have to prove to him you can fix the jealousy issue to get that chance.

rosemilk · Answer

leave your past relationship experiences in the past. not all guys will treat you like your ex did. your boyfriend is not immediately bad or will leave you for another girl just because your ex's did. you'll have to just heal and move on

lightbulb27 · Answer

maybe...

isn't it something that people whom injure you in the past can so damage your present. That is a valuable observation for life... for when you find such issues, you work to repair.

it's not easy.

Lynx122 · Answer

It's not looking good. This is why you should try and handle things like this before you get into a relationship.

genericname85 · Answer

so before i give an unfair answer: are you really jealous in your opinion and is this really a problem or do you actually not think so and he's exaggerating?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Reconciliation is possible, but it will require sincere effort and understanding from both parties.

dragoblack · Answer

Until you can prove with actions, that you have changed, think before you act, can control your emotions, and earn back his trust, i don't think it will happen.

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

It's over and that's what you get. Grow tf up he doesn't have to tolerate your abuse and I'm glad he didn't

serious_miss419 · Answer

“Because of my past relationships “…. Do you believe that is a foundation to move forward on?

michalpl00 · Answer

You sound like me and my ex-girlfriend, but I was jealous. Can you explain what you did? like what do you mean by your jealousy?

msc545 · Answer

Give it some time, and keep trying. Maybe write him a letter or send him flowers with a nice note.

nawtee_me · Answer

Nope, jealousy comes from a lack of trust. Your trust issues should be addressed before any other relationships

Anonymous · Answer

I would suggest you tell him you're going to get therapy. And then DO IT regardless.

Staximus · Answer

All you can do is live and learn .

Babygirl_S · Answer

Tell me again how Western culture doesn’t exploit women

David5668 · Answer

I’d probably say Bob Hope & No Hope. For the record, Bob Hope is dead……..

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe. You're going to have to choke up on the bat a bit though.

Fellatrix · Answer

He is wrong. He needs to obey and listen to you. Every man should listen and obey women.

Yannae · Answer

Give him space, he has to decide now.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Learn from this lesson and move on.

kaucky1 · Answer

Ask a pendulum you will find your answer

Peridot25 · Answer

Yeah he’s done

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Probably not

In_Trance · Answer

Move on

Boyfriend broke up with me because of my jealousy. Do I have a chance to get him back?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said