Would a partner that has kept images and digital memories of their ex be a deal breaker to you?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

No. Only if she looked at them with a sense of longing.

There were no digital photos of videos when I was dating. I got married in 1996. I don't have any spicy images. But I do happen to have photos of a few girlfriends beginning when I was 16.

They were good girls and we had lots of fun together.
They are old now and I lost track of all but one of them. That one is a happy grandma now.
I have memories of all of them. They are part of my past. I have no desire to be with them again. But it's nice to see photos of them when they were young and beautiful. Without photos, I can't picture them clearly in my mind.

I keep those photos in files on my laptop. I rarely look at them. But I cherish them. My wife would never deny me those. She has her memories and I have mine. I'm not jealous of her past.

I wouldn't delete parts of my life for a girlfriend or my wife. The older I get, the more I treasure my memories. Those memories include the last 28 wonderful years of marriage to my wife, but they didn't begin 28 years ago.

MisterWack · Accepted Answer

I said this before and I’ll stand by this: It depends on the context.

In Defense: Let’s say they were good friends so, they are in group photos / gatherings or were grouped in with family or something. Let’s say they were good friends before though didn’t work as a relationship and continued being good friends afterwards. It really depends on the context for these reasons. I wouldn’t expect her to delete or throw out any & all photos of an ex in that case or pressure her / expect her to go along with such an extreme take.

Against: If she claimed she was over her ex though talks about him constantly, shows his photos around, and all that then it is a dealbreaker for sure and a red flag to me.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I have a few pictures of my ex. One is the wedding pix. A very small one. Another is a photo I'm about to give to my son. I took it for a college photography class. I don't want it. But it got me an "A". ... There are two other small photos I'm about to retire from public view because they bring back painful memories.

I didn't keep them because they made me feel good. So, I'm putting them away. They are part of my history. I can't erase my former marriage and I have a child by it who's a grown man. So, I'll date them and put them in an envelope. None are in prominent places. And it's been decades since my divorce.

Images are no threat to anyone. Some LONGING for that former relationship attached to those images: Now THAT would be a problem. But you can't know that about a person until you know them well.

I'd say "No dealbreaker," until you have more information.

StarWarGirl · Accepted Answer

No, it's ok for me. As his past is also a part of him what makes him who he is. The life with his ex and memories with her is part of his own life. I see it like this.

But only thing that they should not be overly attached with those memories while I'm now his world. He can keep those memories. Can see it sometime but not so much attached that they always and always want to go and look all those or remember those. And even if when they remember his old days with his ex he should not be overly emotionally involved into it. Just take it as part of life or part of past but not like it's meant more than that to him.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As your resident relationship guru on Girls Ask Guys, let's dive in with flair! 🚀 Whether keeping digital memories of an ex is a deal breaker really depends on your comfort and boundaries. Some see it as a red flag, while others might not mind at all as long as those files gather dust without recirculation. It's key to communicate your feelings to ensure lovebirds flutter happily rather than ghost each other into oblivion! Trust and comfort are essential, so chat with your partner and see if their reasons align with your romantic vibes. 💖✨

AviatorTom · Answer

No, not a deal breaker. She can keep whatever she wants about her best, as can I. I'm more interested in the present and future of our relationship.

Finchie40 · Answer

Depends on what the pictures and memories are of , if it’s inappropriate pictures , then the respectful thing to do is to get rid of them , but if they decide to hold on to them , then that’s something to reconsider

Paris13 · Answer

I have Pic of Many of My exes. xx

PeachyPie93 · Answer

If it is say the mother of their kid that's fine.. so like they have a photo album that would be fine but photos on their phone is less acceptable since it is something you look at often. Also if they are just an ex I find that strange to hold on to memories like that since we can keep the memories in our mind we don't need photographic evidence of it.. An ex is like an old item so you should get rid of the old to make room for the new.. No need to have pics of that old item to keep remembering the old shit. If you forget things that happened, who really cares, it's in the past. I always delete so the new can come in, holding on to the past is for hoarders and I don't care for that shit..

ManOnFire · Answer

I think it would depend on how, like if she has them as fond memories or has them up in her house or in her car. It would say to me that she's still not really over that person.

But if she still has them just because they are a part of her past, then I'm okay with it. She may keep them as just a memory or reminder of who or where she was years past and how she's moved on from that time. I still have pictures of my exes, some of which are also nudes that I probably shouldn't even have anymore, but history for me is still history. Of course, I don't share those pictures with anyone. Ever. Not even guy friends. But one day I will probably get rid of those.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Eww gross Noan ex is an ex for a reason like a pastor in a sermon once said the past must go away. I cut my prom picture I lost count on how many times I threw away Valentine's and gifts that came from my ex's. I just do not see no point in keeping stuff from the past. Move on and open a new chapter in my life.

electromagnetic · Answer

No, not really. For some, it’s cherished memories of what used to be. I have 1 photo with my first ex and my husband knows. It’s just a really nice photo.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

No, I think that can be pretty normal for many. As long as they don't look at them all the time, wishing to be back with them, or wank at their pictures or something like that.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

no... lol it's so immature... his past is a part of him and who he is today... and I can't decide what is important for him and what he wants to keep...

Raphaëlle · Answer

Not really. Images are also keepsakes like jewelry and whatnot. If they (images) become a problem they might need to go (or be deleted), for example if it's nude photos of exes and they can't seem to forget them or look at the photos every now and then in secret. Then they need to go.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, my ex had albums of all her exes and even things they... Did together.. It means they didn't fully let the whole thing go.. Well, I guess it depends on the pictures too I suppose.. Wholesome pictures are fine.. I mean I still have one picture with my ex and my family that I won't delete even when I get an SO because I love it.

MemeSupreme · Answer

ehhhhhhhh if they're the sentimental type then it isn't, but if they're not yet THAT they want to keep them, then that's suspicious as hell

blueonblack22 · Answer

If they have it saved it some private long forgotten about folder somewhere that’s one thing. But if they are still looking at those images that’s quite another.

Flower7 · Answer

Yes because that would show that he is not over her.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

It's definitely a big problem, a kind of psychopath, I don't want to accept such a thing.

777GgG · Answer

Depends on how long we've been together. Early stages I don't care. If we're more serious then the pictures better be gone or he (or she) better share them with me... Then we can go from there.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends why she's keeping them. I would find it hard to delete parts of my life because it's my life. But if she's still got a candle lit for him, then that's more of a problem.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Only if they stay looking at them. I have pictures of my ex in my phone because I couldn't be bothered to delete them but I don't look at them.

Anonymous · Answer

My husband has videos of his exes and he having sex. I've kept quiet about it because though a little bit mad I've actually masturbated to the videos.

exitseven · Answer

I would not be happy about it but it is not a deal breaker

AaronKrieger · Answer

It definitely is a redflag, but not a dealbreaker depending on what the reasons are and what specifically the images/videos kept are.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

We all know women keep pics of every guy they ever banged. So if she has a lot of guy pictures, she has been run through.

LiamJHayden · Answer

What types of pictures? Did they have children together?

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Yes. They should erase them in front of the ex. It's respectful to them even if you hate them.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Why should she be expected to delete it if I never asked her to?

virtualwasp · Answer

digital shrine? deal breaker

Oldschool1981 · Answer

No, not at all. My wife has a side guy and I'm fine with that

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

No. What's wrong with them having a past?

12karen · Answer

Yes you date me you have me only that's it

Red_Arrow · Answer

Possibly. Depends on many things.

Miah06 · Answer

Naw. Memories are memories

OddBeMe · Answer

Depends if he's jerking off to them

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

Absolutely.

starlight345 · Answer

depends

Would a partner that has kept images and digital memories of their ex be a deal breaker to you?

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Would a partner that has kept images and digital memories of their ex be a deal breaker to you?

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