Guys, Am I overreacting by feeling hurt and embarrassed by my husband’s (lack of) reaction to my intimate advances?

[Anonymous]

I’m a 37 y/o woman married to a 36 y/o man. We haven’t been super connected for a while due to some major life stressors, but I still try my best to do things for him and make him feel loved and appreciated. The same has not happened for me, and I’m really struggling with the weight of loneliness and neglect.

We had a relatively good day today, so this evening, I put on some lingerie that I hadn’t worn in ages and confidently walked out into the living room, where he was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. After a few seconds, he looked up, said “ok…”, and looked back down at his phone. I waited, thinking that there might be some follow up to that, but he continued to stare at his phone for another minute or so before looking up like he was annoyed and saying “I’m not feeling this right now.”

I was crushed, but if I had said anything, I know it would have started a fight, so I just went to bed silently. He’s not normally a very physically affectionate person, but this just felt cold when I put it all out there. For general reference, I’m not the most gorgeous woman in a room, but I don’t think I looked objectively bad in the lingerie, either.

Am I wrong for feeling embarrassed and rejected? I just want to feel wanted again.

[Anonymous]

No it’s not wrong to feel rejected or embarrassed at all. I guess the stressors in your lives must be getting to him and he doesn’t have much of a sex drive, but he could have at least let you down gently like “you look amazing but I’m pretty tired tonight” or something. Usually men have the opposite problem, their wives stop wanting sex and reject them. So I would expect him to be happy you’re still wanting to be intimate

[slatyb]

Your feelings are normal. Rejection hurts, especially from one's partner. It sounds like you aren't really able to talk about the important and difficult topics. Have you considered counseling? Would he go?

[AI Opinion]

Sweetheart, your feelings are completely valid. Relationships are all about connection, and being made to feel undesirable can sting like a jellyfish on a sunny day! It's not just about the lingerie; it's about wanting to reconnect and feel valued. Given the stressors, some introspection might help you understand his mindset. But it's essential you two find a way to communicate your needs—maybe a heart-to-heart can light the spark again. Remember, love isn't just a two-way street; it's a dance that requires some spicy moves and mutual respect. 💃🕺

[NathanDavis]

next time... maybe plan for this kind of fun night together, you know... so he feels included and part of it... connected with you

and maybe that helps

[molonski2]

Id begin working on yourself for yourself , as you gain confidence , all else will follow for sure , the Lingerie will then work a wonder for certain.