Why do I feel disgusted whenever my husband touches me?

[Anonymous]

Lately, I have been feeling a deep sense of revulsion when my husband touches me. I never thought I would feel this in my marriage, and it has left me confused and guilty. Part of me wonders if this is related to unresolved feelings from my past. A few years ago, I was in a serious relationship with someone who meant a lot to me, but we ended it and he has completely cut me off ever since. Could the feelings from that relationship be affecting my current connection with my husband? Has anyone else experienced this? How do you know if this is a phase, a deeper marital issue, or an unresolved burden? I would love to hear your thoughts or advice.

[Inafishbowl99]

IT could well be that you're feeling this way because of the passed. We don't always know why situations come back to haunt us after a long time. Something may have triggered these feelings in a way that has made you remember that time. My guess is that maybe you didn't actually process the hurt and rejection you felt back then.
Maybe you kept yourself busy as to not confront these emotions.
Must have been a serious mental block and now your feeling happy and content. This could be causing you inner turmoil as you are waiting for the hurt to reveal itself. If that makes sense.
Or did you rush headlong into this marriage while you were still recovering from the break up?
So if that's the case then it could be a delayed reaction from that time.
A break up when words are said is bad enough. Only to have someone just walk away without explaining is mental torture.
Especially when you have had no reason on why he left or what was wrong..
That is disturbing for you so you had no real closure on this chapter.
If this is the. Case then maybe now is the time to reflect back so you can move forward with your marriage..

[Nikki1989]

As you suspect, unresolved feelings from your past relationship could be contributing to your current difficulties. Past trauma, whether it's from that relationship or other experiences, can significantly impact your sexual desire and intimacy. You might want to consider therapy.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Disgust, that's a severe effect. Mirror time then, let's see what the mirror says:

"Part of me wonders if this is related to unresolved feelings from my past"
"someone who meant a lot to me, but we ended it and he has completely cut me off"

And the part where you answer your question, with a question that is an answer, to me:

"Could the feelings from that relationship be affecting my current connection with my husband?"

Has anyone else experienced this? Oh yes, A LOT of people, all those who did not grasp the power of mourning yet, they end up forming trouples with ghosts from the past, or they're stuck in their own past, unable to form new relationships. Until they realize what chapter of their own lives is unresolved and why. Good luck with your introspection, it does hurt, but the reward is priceless 🍀

[hahahmm]

This is why dudes avoid women with baggage cause her past always seems to come into the current relationship. And the more past relationships she has the greater the chance she goes nuts. Next thing you know the guy is shaving and she says, "My ex used to shave and he beat on me. You remind me of my ex for shaving"... or "You offered me a drink in a green cup and my ex did the same thing..."

Anyhow, yes, you have issues. It is never okay to take your baggage and blame it or put it on your man.

Guys don't have unlimited patience either. Even a guy who never cheats will start noticing other women and thinking about dumping you if you keep mistreating him.

[AI Opinion]

Hey there! My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help with relationship woes. Feeling disgusted by a partner's touch is tough and deserves attention. Sometimes past relationships awaken unresolved feelings that can seep into present ones. These emotions might be hinting at deeper issues, maybe even red flags, or just a temporary phase. It’s always wise to explore these feelings, perhaps with a counselor, to understand what's going on beneath the surface. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your emotional well-being too! 💖

[Finchie40]

If it’s something that just recently started to happen, then you are best to go seek counseling and find out why you are all of a sudden feeling this way with your husband , especially since you more than likely didn’t feel this way when you met Your husband , a lot of anxieties and depression stem down from past occurrences , so it sounds like your ex traumatized you. So your best bet is to go seek counseling

[blackeagle007]

I agree with this.

[barbie]

If you're experiencing disgust when your husband touches you, it might be more than just a phase it could be a sign of deeper emotional issues, either from your past relationship or something in your marriage. If you haven’t fully healed from your previous relationship, that might be affecting your connection with your husband. The fact that you're feeling guilty shows how much this is weighing on you. It could be worth seeking professional help, like therapy, to really explore what's going on and how to move forward.

[MasterKS]

@barbie kudos!

[Asker]

Thank you for your thoughtful advice.

[mojito]

This sounds really painful, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Feeling disgusted when your husband touches you isn’t just a small issue it’s a sign that something deeper is wrong. Whether it’s unresolved feelings from your past, a loss of emotional connection, or even resentment building up, ignoring it won’t make it go away. If you’re still emotionally tied to your ex, that’s not fair to your husband or yourself. Be honest with yourself about what you truly want. If this marriage isn’t making you happy, forcing it won’t fix things. Therapy might help, but so will asking yourself if you’re in the right relationship.

[MasterKS]

@mojito right point raised.

[Asker]

Thank you for your thoughtful advice. You’re right this isn’t something I should ignore, and I need to be honest with myself about what I truly want. I appreciate your insight and the reminder to reflect deeply on this.

[AManOnTheWeb]

This sounds pretty serious to me. I would seek counseling from a mental health professional. My first instinct was "this sounds like someone who's been abused in the past, possibly at a young age and never fully healed from it."

Best wishes to you and for your marriage.

[blueonblack22]

Please get professional counseling about this and do it soon.

This could end up destroying your marriage if you let it go on. And it will definitely destroy your husband given he’s being judged for something that is no way his fault.

[Anonymous]

It is definitely an issue within yourself. If your husband seems interested in you and you're pushing yourself away or don't want him to touch you. That is a problem with you. But if he didn't show any interest in you you would be pissed off with him. The way does the problem lay back to you. You are holding on to a past relationship that doesn't mean s*** at this minute. Due to the fact that the guy does not want to have contact with you or moved on. So now you are holding The grudges from other relationships into your marriage which is going to be failure. Can't blame your husband it's all on you. If your husband is doing the right thing he's a good guy. I would definitely recommend seeing a counselor for your mental health

[Anonymous]

This is definitely an issue on your end and I recommend getting counseling together and separately and also really focusing on moving on from that past relationship. It’s over and you have to be okay with that. It would have been best if you didn’t get married unless you were okay with that

[debby]

It sounds like you're going through a really tough and confusing time, and I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Feeling disgusted when your husband touches you isn’t something to ignore it could be a sign of emotional disconnect, unresolved past feelings, or even deeper marital issues. It’s worth reflecting on whether this is tied to your past relationship or if there are problems within your marriage itself. Either way, don’t push these feelings aside.

[Asker]

You’re right this isn’t something to ignore, and I need to reflect on where these feelings are coming from.

[Anonymous]

You don't say much about you current relationship and seem surprised by your own reaction to your partner.
It seems that your current relationship is going well and is stable.
If so, it could be that you feel safe enough to start to unpack past events and it doesn't relate to your husband at all.
Arm chair psychology, of course, so find someone qualified to work things out properly.

[Anonymous]

Normally this comes from unresolved issues on your end with your current partner, not previous. Because why would your previous partner even be coming into play. Because why would you marry if you didn't love your current t husband. And why would you be thinking about anyone else if you love your husband.

[Abbycado]

How is anyone supposed to tell you how YOU feel about something if you can’t even figure it out?

[Gwendoline]

You probably feel you are cheating with your husband on the person you had an affair with. The disgusting you feel. is probably self disgust.

[SixFootSexy]

I've heard women who get into relationships while they're on birth control can sometimes have visceral, disgusted reactions to their man once they get off it.

Who knew?

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

How long have you been married?

How long ago was this other relationship?

Were you in this relationship WHILE you were married to your current husband?

[Anonymous]

this is why body count matters. the emotional baggage from your previous relationship can never go away no matter how hard you try to suppress it

[Joshydavid25]

It could be a psychological issue to do with the past, or it could ve that you're testosterone deficient..

[Smegskull]

See a doctor and a therapist.
something changed either in you (medical) or in his behavior (psychological), either way talk to professional.
This sounds like some sort of hormone imbalance to me.

[genericname85]

yeah that sounds like you should talk to a professional therapist or psychiatrist instead to a bunch of internet weirdos tbh.

[Staximus]

I think you have some issues in your past or childhood that you need to talk to a therapist about

[Anonymous]

Maybe he should go have sex with someone else and find you disgusting.

[Anonymous]

How are we supposed to know?

If you want answers to these questions, and you care enough about your husband and your marriage to do what's right... get some therapy.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like repressed emotions. Ask your doctor.

[LiamS95]

I'm interested in helping but not quite sure how.

[Anonymous]

could it be that you're more interested in a BBC experience these days?

[kaucky1]

Had sex while wasted, husband comes home smell taste like cockmouth just not satisfied

[MasterKS]

You still not out from that past relationship, its tough if you not able to come out.

[jshm2]

You're just emotionally cheating on him.

[jahaims]

You shouldn't even be married

[beefcakebradybatson]

Is he ugly and/or funky?

[Anonymous]

he's cheating

[keegen]

huh?

[Bonnaroo]

Don’t know

[Kingofkings1992]

Troll.