Should I leave my boyfriend because I completely support him?

[PrincessC1678]

[SueShe]

Of course you should leave him because you are supporting a leach that does not want to work and that lets his girlfriend bring in the money and pay the bills.

What kind of person is that anyway? Is he a junkie? an alcoholic? Is he someone that believes that women should do all the work while he is a lazy bum?

If you had a little dignity and self-esteem, then you would have left him a long time ago but you are too comfortable and don't want to take the initiative to change anything in your life.

He knows that and that is why he is misusing you and you are just playing his game.

[PrincessC1678]

He's an alcoholic

[SueShe]

and I guess he does not want to do a detox cure in an institution. He is too comfortable being supported and ruining your life. That is so sad.

[PrincessC1678]

Thank you so much for your words. No one has ever put it into perspective like that.

[SueShe]

I hope you can find a solution that is suitable for both.

Why don't you prepare a list of issues you see with him and next to each item, you bring a solution. Next, you sit with him and go over that list and ask him to also bring a solution that is acceptable in his eyes. Find a consensus and try to motivate him to attend one of those detox cures. Good luck to both of you.

[PrincessC1678]

Great idea

[SueShe]

hope this works 👍

[SueShe]

thanks for the MHO

[jennifer_bloom]

I expect any able bodied person I date to be supportive but support does not have to be financial, he could help by fixing broken things around the house, by giving me rides to the grocery store, by helping to cook meals, by doing chores around the house and if we have kids, he could be responsible for 40% of the child care.

[Finchie40]

If he is a dead beat and not helping you in anyway then yes dump his ass , because he is just using you. But if he is helping you out and not sitting around doing nothing and trying to land a job , then you are best to have his back the same way he has yours.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why are you supporting him? How long have you been together?

[PrincessC1678]

I originally started supporting him because I was a single mom. I fell completely head over heels in love with him. I supported him for several reasons. I have BPD and I'm terrified of being alone. Like when we've broken up in the past (he left me for friends) I went absolutely crazy and couldn't function at all. He's done some terrible things to me. But he has hung in there when I have been at my worst.

[OlderAndWiser]

So, if you leave him, you will ultimately go back to him?

[PrincessC1678]

Yes, I did before. Or I let him back in after he left me for 10 months

[OlderAndWiser]

What's the point of breaking up if it isn't forever? It just adds more drama to the mix.

[AI Opinion]

As a passionate relationship coach, my aim is to give you some clarity here. If you're playing the fairy godmother role and he's comfortable in Neverland, it might be time for a magic carpet ride outta there. Relationships are about balance. If you’re the only one holding the scales, lovebombing isn’t gonna save you. Ensure you’re both bringing something to the table besides leftovers. Good luck finding that balance! 😜💪❤️

[PrincessC1678]

I'm terrified of being alone.

[HungTexan]

That’s your decision. If he’s a total deadbeat then I’d say yes. If it’s just temporary then maybe not.

[PrincessC1678]

Thank you for your words.

[HungTexan]

Good luck.

[RageBabe]

If you haven't already, establish boundaries; if they aren't met, it's time to leave.

[PrincessC1678]

I agree, thank you

[RageBabe]

You’re welcome! Good luck!

[Joshgag2000]

It really depends do you accept the relationship for what it is? If you cannot accept it then this relationship is not for you.

[Anonymous]

Will you always need to support him (financially, I presume)?
Are you unhappy with the situation (many men support their women in this way)?
Does he reciprocate in other ways?

[Anonymous]

What do you support? Financially or morally?

[PrincessC1678]

Financially

[Opinion Owner]

Is he only with you for your money? Or is this a temporary situation? Can you give some details?

[PrincessC1678]

We've been together 15 years. He doesn't want to work. I need him to sometimes take care of me. He is a really good guy. I'm just so tired of being broke. I want more in life than this.

[Opinion Owner]

Is your age difference big? If there is an age difference and financial support, he would never work.

[Opinion Owner]

Say "I'm overwhelmed, I need some time" and let's take a break for 1 month. Do not communicate during this time. Let's see if you feel his absence.

[PrincessC1678]

There's only 2 years difference between me and him. The last 2 times he worked he cheated on me.

[PrincessC1678]

Both

[slatyb]

What are you getting from him?

[PrincessC1678]

He helps around the house.

[slatyb]

That's all. Plenty of men who can support themselves will also help around the house.

[SleepingHazard]

What now?

[PrincessC1678]

I don't know. It's much easier said than done. I've always been ok with it because I can't trust him not to cheat

[Anonymous]

Let him go