like after a break up they caused.. like how distance makes the heart grow fonder
It can happen and it happens to women as well. But eventually most people do move on some people regret breaking up with someone and only realize what they lost after they lost it while other times people don’t see how toxic a person was until after it’s over. So it can be one extreme or the other.
Narcissists also feel this way many times they aren’t sorry for the other person they are sorry for themselves. They are sorry they lost let’s say physical contact, they are sorry they lost romantic gestures, they are sorry they lost how someone made them feel, if there was financial incentives being with someone sorry that they lost that, amongst many other things. That someone will be sorry about if they lack empathy.
People who have empathy may feel horrible after the fact reflecting on the way they treated someone they loved. They are sorry that they did that to someone who was always there for them and truly loved them.
But it does depend like I said a lot of times the person with the narcissist begins seeing how bad it really was after the fact. Also… Narcissists HATE loosing control.
They will initiate breakups either to discard someone or if they sense it’s coming anyways they will want to have the upper hand even if it’s over something stupid. They hate to be the one whose not in control so they need to sabotage that relationship before you do.
But at the end of the day they always come back because they need supply and they need to control as many people as possible. So they will keep coming back and going away to do the same thing over and over again.
@summeroflove. As do most men eventually - as well - the intriguing thing I sometimes wonder is if all genders have a Bridget Jones Effect (aka if their old flames ever come back into view + are they ever triggered or not triggered and I mean a good trigger) 👀😉🌹
@summeroflove otherwise yeah it's just a summer love that they pass on quickly - ahahaha what could've been's
Yes, it can happen and I'm actually going through it as we speak. Although I didn't cause the break up, the distance that grew between us is unbearable! I'm trying to break all communication between the two of us but she just can't let me go. Just this morning she asked if we could "still be friends", I'd like nothing more than that but that's not fair to her and don't want to lead her on and continue to cause more pain between us. I think she might be having second thoughts about her new man, because she misses me. Even though I love her more than Kit Kat's, I have to let her go and wish she would let me go! You seem like a very sweet young lady, please, don't let past love's ruin what you have now. I hope you take my advice. By the way, how cold is Antarctic this time of year? Are you a scientist or something?
GODDAMNIT! You think you're so smart, I just had you confused for another sexy woman that used to love me, that's all. Sorry for the misunderstanding 😬
There are men who will break up with women because seeing her emotional response over it validates his perceived worth as a man. If, instead of crying and shouting, you have a healthy response and calmly agree to the break-up so that you can both move on peacefully, he tends to take it personally that you won’t freak out over him leaving. And yeah, he’ll probably try to get you back and call you drunk and beg like a loser. Doesn’t mean you need to be with him, though and personally I think you’re better off without a man like that. There’s a reason “man” is in the word “manipulative.”
Sometimes, yes.
They're "confused" and step away, then see you with someone else and chase after you, then keep you waiting for them till you decide to move on, which is when they realize that "they THINK they love you". Do yourself a favor, kid. Walk away from whoever this mf is. You're young and have options.
On Girls Ask Guys, my aim is to spice up your relationship life with humor and insights. So here's the deal, losing someone can sometimes lead to that unexpected revelation, the "what was I thinking?" moment. The absence can indeed make the heart grow fonder, sparking those love-struck feelings again. But be cautious, as missing someone doesn't always mean long-lasting love. Stay playful, stay cautious, and let love work its magic! 😉✨
Opinion
41Opinion
You might trigger an obsession if they lose you, but not likely love. They might realize what they had when they lose you, but any person that loves you would respect your choice to let go. Breaking up with someone just shows you're not willing to stick it through thick and thin and work things through with them. The only thing it might cause is simp behaviour if they chase you afterwards.
@HawkPerception some folks are better moving on, the lust is pointless if there's dealbreakers aka "I didn't realise she wasn't X YZ" and then it's like oh I've flipped a switch
Says every one ever - looks can be blind
Yea sometimes people don’t realize how good they have it , until it’s gone
When I was 16, my family moved, which meant I had to leave my boyfriend of one year. I still consider that one of the biggest heartbreaks I went through! I know he was just as sad as I was and I feel being away from each other made us love each other more, he even thought about proposing 😂but we were young... we would talk on the phone constantly and visit each other on weekends but eventually moved on. I still think of him! It's funny, his name is Todd and when I started my new job, my shift supervisor introduced himself and his name is Todd lol it instantly made me think of him.
I suppose it's possible that someone doesn' t realize the value of a partner until that partner is gone.
But it would seem to me that that means they weren't paying much attention to their partner in the first place, did they?
In general, I think distance makes the heart forget. You need someone who's around, not someone on the internet, in another state or country.
If you're unable to spend physical time dating and enjoying each other's company and learning about each other the only thing distance does is put off a real relationship because you are NOT spending time with each other.
That's generally a horrible strategy that in most cases is not going to go well for the girl hoping to get back with the guy. Now, there are the kind of people who break up once a week, and get back together a day or two later, and that might work for those people, but those people aren't serious anyway. For most everyone else, once you break up, it's over forever.
Nah, they'll just probably miss you and start to become a bit obsessed.. But it won't turn into love.. Especially while you're distant and away.. If they didn't already start to develop love for you, it'll just turn into infatuation for wha they feel they lost.
Sure they can realize that they love you after you're gone.. But IMHO I would say that that's a bit different than "falling in love"..
I guess anyone may realize what they “had” and maybe then see what they should have realized before … it’s usually that they think the grass is or will be greener with someone else.
But that’s not “falling in love” by loosing you …it’s just realizing a person meant or means more to you than you thought.
@Lisia are you single again? And I think it varies - I for one in the question am someone who just moves on easily because "shrug, I'm a male" and "shrug, guess there was no realistic chance" lol 😆 try finding a hot left handed woman box ticking exercise, lol 😆 I'll be fine. I'll continue my solo road 🛣️
Maybe. We’re not all the same. So I’m sure some can. It’s hard to say it’s impossible. Also regarding your update, I have a question about what stands out and not ordinary means to you. Ordinary just means normal. Which is arbitrary of course. Why would your question not apply to someone who’s normal or ordinary?
Thanks for replying. I don’t think I asked my question properly so for that my apologies. I’m just trying to understand your thought process here just because I find it interesting. Not being a jerk or anything. A normal person may be desirable by many people, hence why most people fall into the category as normal.
Maybe a better question is what are extraordinary specifics traits that a person would need to possess to make a person’s heart grow fonder, if distance is between them? My point is, you frame ordinary people, which is most people, ones that would say, hey I’m just a normal person, are very less desirable. I’m not arguing this I’m just trying to see a deeper understanding that what you replied with. To your credit, you answered my question, so thanks, but if you want to share the deeper why behind you feel this way (If I’ve captured your meaning properly) please do. Thanks!
Some men might, but that doesn't work with me.
The quickest way to my heart for a woman is to act like a cat does when it wants attention (Be frequently affectionate and clingy/needy and not take no for an answer).
That would only work though if I found her attractive and mentally compatible.
I think men fall in love easily and hold on through breakups to hope that they can get it back. So yes if THEY are the ones who left then it's plausible that the absence made them realise what they lost WAS worthy.
If it's her who leaves then it's much less likely he's got it together and accepted it. He's done with her most likely.
No! Distance exposes him to others and he simps and of course simping gets him a basic bish. Then he assumes he found someone better only to realise it’s really a downgrade when he finds his ex flourishing without him. He realises the trash took itself out actually holds true in his case
Happened to me. I when the person is gone the only memories you remember are the good once. But truth is your mind makes you forget how terrible you felt. Its a defense mechanism. Supress the bad stuff. When you were in it you actually felt so terrible that you wanted to break up. So no regrets. Even if your heart wants her, you must realize that you fell in love with the wrong person.
It is true that many people don't realised that they have good people in their life untill they are gone and when they are gone then they miss them to have in their life so yes it is human nature when they not have or loose that thing then they miss that person.
I don't think so. If he let you go, he does not really love you. A man who only wants you when you are gone is not a man worth your time, anyways.
In some cases, it could happen, but honestly, if a man really really wants you, he will do everything to not even get to that point of losing you.
SO... I said what I said
In theory it works
In practice you’re not likely to get him back
Because while the heart might grow fonder it will also add in another layer of protection and become more closed off
u no, this is not love...
if anything, it is fixation and usually not healthy at all
but this has nothing to do with love, this more about immaturity and lack of experience
I would not think that any man will suddenly fall in love after losing a good woman.
If that man starts feeling like he is in love, then that tells me that he was ALWAYS in love but in denial for whatever reason.
Yes, but I think context is very important here. Some men want to get back immediately just out of loneliness not because realizing what they lost. It's all about context
It does but also I've become more numb to distance. Spent a long time soaking in feelings in a long distance relationship and to just have them all shat apon. Not something I respond near as much as I should.
There is topsy turvy of romance
Myself and wife have always been at loggerheads with occasional smooth patches that last a couple of years.
Do I like this?
No.
I think there could be another partner who would sit me better🙂
Agreeing with you Lisia
I believe distance is good
And familiarity breeds contempt
Both can happen. Don't try to play that game to find out, it's a stupid high risk move for little reward.
@Ms_Facesitter does the memory ever fade though lol 😆 I wonder more the female brain 🧠
@NicholasRedone Unless alzheimer's kicks in no. I still remember my high school crush, but feelings wise there's nothing. Once I move on, I move on, it's over. It's just another memory.
@Ms_Facesitter *he appears* ❤️ oh be still my beating heart, it's 'the guy" lol 👁️👁️👁️
@NicholasRedone No. More like "O it's him, glad he's doing okay" and I go on with my day.
I do think it can happen. Sometimes when you realize how much you miss someone you reevaluate things.
Sometimes, if she was a good woman. But most of the time no, she is an ex for a reason and once she is gone, she is forgotten. No need to dwell on any woman.
Just because you are missing something you had doesn't mean you want it back for good reasons.
Look, you are not gonna make someone to love you by hurting them. I dont know what kind of shit you are watching but keep it in the Hollywood.
To update:
"im happy in my relationship and wouldn't do that to him" and then says
"we just broke up once before cause he was very distant and he came running back and is 1000x better now"
He came back running? Yeah... i see that is equal relationship... 🤣 Or how is that different from the title?
I hope he founds someone who does he dont need to "run back to" so later girl can make derogatory comment about it and someone who does not play stupid games
I really miss my ex wife. My current wife just doesn't get me. You have to fight for your marriage. But she's married to someone else. I am married to someone else. I am hoping my current wife asks me for a divorce soon.
They say it does mainly I think is the access they have to you or had to you
It is very possible. The other school of thought is, “ Out of sight, out of mind.”
You mean "don't know what you got till it's gone"?😆
Nah. For me once I determine she isn’t for me. It’s done
In business playing hard to get is a tactic. Not a bad play for dating but don't count on deep affection when you're playing a game.
Absolutely. I have broken up with girls and been heart broken months later, and even still a little sad, years later.
Well if he doesn't love you when you are close by it's not going to happen when you're far away because now he's going to have other options to make you forget about this other person
I have heard that people take things for granted and then realize what they lost when its gone.
Yes the can but most time there already in love and just not realize it until your gone. Have you ever been in a situation like that
No not really this is stupid I don't even remember her existence after breakup lol
Sometimes people don't know what they had til it’s gone.
You never know what you have until it is gone….
The real saying is “Absence makes the heart grow fonder for another”
Some men struggle to let it go.
It can happen, but it’s not guaranteed
Distance makes the fond grow harder.
By losing you? No. Not remotely.
That isn't how long works
Is there any particular man?
It depends how close you have moved away
total nonsense
Yeah, it does!
Nah bad question
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