How to Accept Your Partner's Past?

Question

DishLady · Accepted Answer

It's a take-it-or-leave-it sort of thing. Either you want to be together and accept that you both have pasts or just move on. Bc I waited till marriage to get physical with anyone I knew that chances are I'd have NO experience and the fellow would have SOME experience. (I mistakenly married a guy who acted like the lost cast member from American Gigolo, but that's a different story for another day.) Point is, going into marriage, I asked him about his past, and though the STD screening and blood test weren't mandatory at the time we did it anyway -- me as a formality in solidarity for him. He came up clean and we carried on and got married.

He cheated throughout the marriage, which caused a WHOLE SLEW of issues for me, the kids, etc. Had I known enough about guys prior to being married I MOST LIKELY would have seen his promiscuous past as a giant red flag and not married the guy.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Okay so I think if your partners past is really unacceptable to you and it feels like you just can't get over it, most likely she isn't the one for you. Like I have a low body count and prefer that my partners do too but rn I really like a guy who has a high count and it almost doesn't bother me at all because I just like him that much. Mind you it will probably come out that he isn't worth liking soon enough lol.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Well it’s something you either can accept or can’t accept. If someone’s a decent person but there are things you can’t look beyond maybe they aren’t meant to be. Don’t waste your time or their time because you’re hurting them as well.

Another thing is talking about it if someone’s willing to open up about certain things there has to be a level of trust. Some people make stupid decisions but do they genuinely regret those decisions? Or do they double down and insist they never did anything wrong as well as continue to make them?

Another thing is not overlooking your own past you probably aren’t perfect either though if you for instance have a low body count by choice it’s fair to want someone with the same standards.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

That's easy. Think about your own past and how your partner accepts you. Then, and this is most important, acknowledge that you cannot change the past, so concentrate on the present and the future.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As your lovely relationship coach here, let me sprinkle some wisdom. 😎 Embrace that everyone has a past - it’s what shaped them into the person you fell for! Focus on their growth and who they are now, not the ghosting or lovebombing that might haunt their history. Talk it out like you’re in a romantic comedy and remember, the best stories have twists and turns! 🌟

Sonorous · Answer

Instead thinking of her getting her back absolutely blown out by chad thunderslong. Just think of her getting her back blown out by mclovin.

Finchie40 · Answer

Accept Your own first before pointing fingers

Miristheiss · Answer

What kind of a past are you talking about? Do you mean she's been ran through and had a hoe phase?

You don't. You don't be stupid enough to commit and be serious about them.

Women used to have to wait until marriage (which is how they got all the men of society to marry) because sleeping around makes babies. You need a man and a family to start having babies.

Just because the pill came out in the 60's so women could F around and not have a baby and feminists said women should sleep around and try out 10, 20, 30 guys before they pick the one doesn't mean it isn't gross and sleazy. No man should ever commit long term to these modern whores.

If she's got a "PAST" then she isn't girlfriend material. Don't accept it. Just commit long term to these women

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

If she belongs to the streets, as in a hoe or a trick, the good girl act is only going to last as long as you're more useful than going back to that. I mean entertainment value as well as financial... girls do all that fucking for entertainment if they weren't doing it for financial survival.

The question is vague so I'm just shooting in the dark and doubt I'm hitting the target. I'm guessing basically exactly about what you're talking about. For all I know you're talking about her eating habits in the past or a drug habit. I have no real idea.

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes you can't. Everyone is different and some people have issues with different things not just limited with sex. If somebody has a prison record or has been married multiple times. What if they have a history of drug abuse or some kind of mental illness. ? Everyone has a past but everyone also has preferences.

If their past really bothers you, you should end the relationship.

sawno · Answer

You just do, its a choice. The best girlfriend I ever had I would have disliked a lot if I met her sooner. She would have been the type I don't want, but the year prior to us meeting she changed a lot and aligned with who I love. So I could then fault her for the things I am incompatible with that she no longer did and miss out on an incredible girl, or I could love her for who she is and have her. The choice was obvious.

Anonymous · Answer

It really depends on what her past is. It's not what she tells you you got to worry about. It's what she neglects to tell you that will be the problem. Think of it as an iceberg. Most of what you don't know is below the surface and can sink you. You have to get whatever information you can and then determine whether she is worth dating. Because the REALITY is, people do not change. If she f***ed 3 guys at once 15 years ago, that's who she still is. Regardless of what she tells you. If you can't live with that, and you SHOULDN'T. Then you shouldn't date her.

Screenwriter · Answer

I am unsure why there seems to be a trend that people tell partners EVERYTHING about their former relationships in gory detail.

Some details should be kept close to one's vest and it's best to reveal only what's necessary. Complete honesty can be damaging and hurtful. Be measured in what you reveal and try to be as sure as you can about what a partner can handle.

Some truths are best kept in your heart, shared with no one, able to hurt no one..

godfatherfan · Answer

That is it? just a title? You don't put specifics?

How does your partners past impact you in any way? It doesn't.

I don't know why anyone wants to talk about past relationships, body count, Whatever...

It has nothing to do with the present and your present relationship... nothing.

DomInDraper · Answer

Frankly, if you can't do it fairly readily... you probably shouldn't try. I say this as a fairly accepting person myself. I just haven't seen many men who are bothered by a woman's "past" get over it. I actually can't even think of one that I personally know.

rebelkid · Answer

It is simple…Just DO NOT ASK. Every day you wake up is a new sheet. So in a new relationship that is a new sheet…unless your partner has a disease that would affect you.
But if you truly Love and care for your partner, then let it go.
Now keep it REAL and make sure your partner ESR does not bring any negative past behaviors into you guys present relationship

itsannalee · Answer

Just don’t ask something if you can’t even take the answer.

oldpigg · Answer

I can have a relationship with a woman regardless of her past if she is attractive enough, but it will not be a long-term relationship nor will I marry her.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I plan to know their past before anything serious even begins so what I accept depends on what it is

RedThread · Answer

Everybody has a past especially as we get older. We all have a different threshold on what we can deal with too. There's nothing wrong with that.

chrissykerdock · Answer

she may have a past but her sexual skills developed because of it

molonski2 · Answer

Well , it greatly depends on what is actually involved in this " past " of theirs.

lindeasy · Answer

Her telling me in every nasty detail as I drain my seed in her

Nikki1989 · Answer

Why would I even ask about it? I wouldn't be so intrusive or so rude.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

if you even need to ask, you're not right and shouldn't be dating.

HungTexan · Answer

I wouldn’t dwell on the past! It now and the future that matter.

dragoblack · Answer

By leaving it in the past... unless it is their own actions, then call their actions when they start to repeat them. For example, absusive behavior, or ending their relationships by cheating.

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

You don't. Have standards for yourself and don't be pressured to break them.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I accept my own one. So I can accept hers :)

lorenzomichael · Answer

Unless she was a dirty hoe, don’t think about it, put it behind you and make your own memories with her

LiamJHayden · Answer

As long as she is not carrying an infection or was convicted of a violent crime or theft I probably will not care.

Anonymous · Answer

If he has had many girlfriends and has slept with every girl, I will never accept such a boyfriend and his past.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Our pasts are our pasts we just have to understand that it can't be changed

DrPepper12 · Answer

With love, understanding and grace. Whaddya mean? It's WHO they are. Accept it or walk away.

jahaims · Answer

You don't. Find someone who isn't trash. Pretty simple.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

By accepting it or just moving on from them.  The past can't be changed.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

normally... it's in the past, move on :D

Manuelwe · Answer

It depends on the laugage they carry. Are they to repeat on you want they done to other partners

Nightmoon23 · Answer

It’s in the past doesn’t matter what happened

Anonymous · Answer

My answer is simple. If I don't feel good about her past, I won't date her.

Raeraecumslut · Answer

I don’t understand why you want some one not well used

Professor-college · Answer

What's important it's the present if you don't like her past don't waste both of your times

dustybiker2 · Answer

By getting over yourself.

alice55 · Answer

In which ways? What disturb you?

NicholasRedone · Answer

By looking under the hood? 😲 🚗 Uhhh 👀

es20490446e · Answer

Is their past their present?

hello4433 · Answer

Depends on what that is

Godihateyou · Answer

Don't. Never accept less. Drop the hoe.

How to Accept Your Partner's Past?

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How do you get over your partner’s past relationships?